Posts: 4
From: willow grove, pa usa
Registered: May 2008

posted May 25, 2008 11:58 PM         

---

I am new to this thread and I just want to vent and maybe get an opinion if I am being a bonehead. I have this situation where my best friend, ex-boyfriend and myself are in business together. the story goes that my BF and I were seeing each other on and off for the last three years and the last six months more on than off. Its seems that things have gotten intense and he told me that even though that he loves me deeply and knows that I am right for him, the time is not right for him to be in a relationship. Fine, I am ok with that. Than I come to ephiphany about a week later after that and figured that I need to move on with my life because if now is not the right time, it never will be and I want off this emotional roller coaster ride. I have too many things going on right now with this business, working full time, being a single mom and going to college part time. Well, come to find out he has started to call my best friend for business related reasons which I can understand. We all have to interact with each other at some point. I have no problem with this. But then they start getting personal with it and she is telling him her problems and he is discussing me with her. At first it was entertaining but now I am plain annoyed by it. Not only that, she insisted that I know about these phone calls and every detail about the conversations. Guess she is being loyal? Well I told her that she needs to respect my feelings and not let me know that they are conversating together. If they must talk to each other, then do it but I don't need to know the details unless it is business related. I told her that I want to move on with my life and I expressed this to him also. Everytime she tells me that they spoke and the details of the convo, I feel like I take ten steps back. Well today, I blew up. He called her when my best friend and I were together. She ends answering the call and giving it to me. He makes some small talk and what not and says that he has to go. I mad as hell because in the midst of this I am having transmission problems and under the hood listening for noises. So i told her that I am sick of him calling her and reiterated for her once again that if they are talking to each other, fine, leave me out of the equation. she takes it upon herself to call him back and tell them not to call anymore because I am jealous and upset. Not even the case!!!! in order to be jealous, there has to be a threat and she does not pose one for me. It is just that I want to move on with my life and not have anymore to do with him than I have to. Why can't she respect that? It was unbelievable that she put me out there like that assuming that was how I felt when we spoke about this on numerous occasions how I felt about it. Jealousy is and never will be an issue. So i called him and told him that it is not jealousy and I am not upset that they talk, it is just that I don't want nothing to do with him and I want to move on and I don't have to know every time they talk. I don't understand why this is such an unreasonable thing for her to understand. Does she think that she is doing me a favor by doing this? we are not high schoolers. We are in our 30's. we have a business that is developing but there is nothing going on with it at this time. truthfully, I feel like walking out of this business deal and moving far away. this aggravation is not worth it. May I mention that they are both aries and I am a capricorn? any advice please. I cut him out of my life and I am about to cut her out too.

IP: Logged

Posts: 6689
From: New Brighton, MN, USA
Registered: Nov 2004

posted May 26, 2008 12:06 AM         

---

Welcome to LL, blo

I don't think it's a really great idea for the 3 of you to be in business together -- can you buy them out?? Can you sell your share to them?? You say it's like 10 steps back every time you have to talk about "it." Your friend thinks she's doing the right thing by telling you everything, so it will be on the up and up, yet this is difficult for you to deal with.

You keep saying you want to move on, but you can't expect everyone else to change because you want a new path. The only way I see out of this is to get away from BOTH of them.

IP: Logged

Posts: 4
From: willow grove, pa usa
Registered: May 2008

posted May 26, 2008 12:12 AM         

---

i totally agree but if i was not put into a position of making a lot of money that will definitely ensure my security for myself and my kids, I would walk. I am thinking that I will take this money and work on this project for year and bail. they are putting me in a bad spot. I am also at the point is the money really worth my sanity? I am trying not to base this decision on emotion and trying to use some rationale but decision is not something that I can make so easily.

IP: Logged

Posts: 216
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted May 26, 2008 09:25 AM         

---

Stay calm blo. Never make business decisions in this frame of mind.
Emotions and business do not mix. Never ever.
Me personally I think they're jerking your chain for whatever reason.
So don't react at all to them.
Meanwhile you're a Capricorn?
For the love of God where's your plan??
That's why you are panicking. You aint got a plan.
A bit like a Leo without an audience.
An Aqua without an open door or a Cancerian without Mummy.
Calmly work out where you see yourself in a years time and work on that.
Take the money and smile and let them get on with whatever nonsense they are up to.
Watch your back...

IP: Logged

Posts: 4
From: willow grove, pa usa
Registered: May 2008

posted May 26, 2008 10:16 AM         

---

i absolutely have a plan. I am going to finish my degree and get my Accounting Degree, keep on raising my kids and wait for this money to come through so that I may move on with my life. I am not panicking. I am having a problem with people respecting my feelings. this will never knock me off my square. perserverance in the face of adversity. I am moving to arizona next June after I finish a semester here in Penn. whatever emotions that I am displaying is probably the result of my gemini moon.

IP: Logged