Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Jul 2008

posted July 12, 2008 02:45 AM         

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I know there are quite a few threads about Cancerian man. Sorry if you guys are fed up with the topic. I¡¦m just too¡K. sigh¡K. lost, confused, frustrated, but still try to stay positive with all my might.

I met this Cancerian man online in March. Started seeing each other in April. We feel strongly for each other. Contrary to what I read about usual Cancerian traits of slow, reserved emotion, he is fast and intense. He texted me every day, a few occasions we even chatted in the phone all night long, obviously he was very tired but didn¡¦t want to hang up until it was time to leave home for work. I have never ever connected with someone so well.

One day in June (6 weeks later) I received a flirty message from him that didn¡¦t seem to be intended for me. I was a bit disappointed. I text him back, in a neutral tone telling him he might have sent the message to the wrong person. He responded immediately, faster than ever, denying. I know he was lying coz the message sounded like a reply to a previous message but I didn¡¦t send him any on that day. I told him I was upset coz he lied to me, not coz of the message. We haven¡¦t reached the ¡§exclusive¡¨ level so it¡¦s not surprising he¡¦s seeing someone else. It¡¦s not a big deal, why lie? Eventually he apologised for ¡§causing me to misunderstand¡¨ but still insisted he wasn¡¦t lying. I didn¡¦t want to drag on. Being a Gem/Sag I¡¦m easy to forgive and forget.

Things were as sweet as usual in the next 2 weeks. Then all in a sudden he turned 180 degree. He became distant and silent. Not even a short note to say hello. So I started the communication (I rarely did coz he was always the one to start it) but he didn¡¦t respond to me 2 out of 3 times. I know there has been some unexpected change at his work and he¡¦s been terribly busy. He is always very career oriented. So I stop bothering him, wait and see if he would come out from his shell. It¡¦s been nearly 1 month now. Getting worse, more silent. I start to think it¡¦s likely coz of another girl, not necessarily his work. My intelligent mind tells me to let him go. My emotional mind tells me to hang on give some more time. What do you think guys? Please give me some advice.

Here our charts. I know the combination is hard.

Me Him
Sun Gemini 19¢X53'14 in house 3 Sun Cancer 26¢X25'53 in house 1
Moon Sagittarius 18¢X34'13 in house 9 Moon Capricorn 22¢X44'45 in house 7
Mercury Cancer 1¢X17'10 in house 3 Mercury Leo 19¢X00'10 in house 2
Venus Gemini 17¢X14'25 end of house 2 Venus Virgo 8¢X17'15 in house 3
Mars Gemini 22¢X55'46 in house 3 Mars Leo 29¢X38'15 in house 2
Jupiter Leo 29¢X20'17 in house 5 Jupiter Scorpio 22¢X07'30 in house 5
Saturn Aries 22¢X53'19 in house 1 Saturn Capricorn 2¢X06'10 in house 6
Uranus Virgo 25¢X06'30 in house 6 Uranus Leo 15¢X23'25 in house 2
Neptune Scorpio 24¢X29'37 in house 8 Neptune Scorpio 4¢X11'20 in house 4
Pluto Virgo 20¢X12'06 in house 6 Pluto Virgo 2¢X41'50 in house 2
True Node Aries16¢X40'49 end of house 12 True Node Libra 6¢X36'30 in house 4
Ascendant Aries 17¢X29'41 Ascendant Cancer14¢X38'32
2nd House Taurus 20¢X49'31 2nd House Leo 8¢X45'02
3rd House Gemini 17¢X41'14 3rd House Virgo 5¢X33'24
Imum Coeli Cancer 12¢X14'07 Imum Coeli Libra 6¢X35'45
5th House Leo 8¢X17'44 5th House Scorpio 10¢X34'34
6th House Virgo 9¢X32'00 6th House Sagittarius 13¢X55'27
Descendant Libra 17¢X29'41 Descendant Capricorn 14¢X38'32
8th House Scorpio 20¢X49'31 8th House Aquarius 8¢X45'02
9th House Sagittarius 17¢X41'14 9th House Pisces 5¢X33'24
Medium Coeli Capricorn 12¢X14'07 Medium Coeli Aries 6¢X35'45
11th House Aquarius 8¢X17'44 11th House Taurus 10¢X34'34
12th House Pisces 9¢X32'00 12th House Gemini 13¢X55'27

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Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Jul 2008

posted July 12, 2008 02:52 AM         

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Sorry... just to make the chart clear to see

Me --- Him
Sun Gemini 19¢X53'14 in house 3 --- Sun Cancer 26¢X25'53 in house 1
Moon Sagittarius 18¢X34'13 in house 9 --- Moon Capricorn 22¢X44'45 in house 7
Mercury Cancer 1¢X17'10 in house 3 --- Mercury Leo 19¢X00'10 in house 2
Venus Gemini 17¢X14'25 end of house 2 --- Venus Virgo 8¢X17'15 in house 3
Mars Gemini 22¢X55'46 in house 3 --- Mars Leo 29¢X38'15 in house 2
Jupiter Leo 29¢X20'17 in house 5 --- Jupiter Scorpio 22¢X07'30 in house 5
Saturn Aries 22¢X53'19 in house 1 --- Saturn Capricorn 2¢X06'10 in house 6
Uranus Virgo 25¢X06'30 in house 6 --- Uranus Leo 15¢X23'25 in house 2
Neptune Scorpio 24¢X29'37 in house 8 ---Neptune Scorpio 4¢X11'20 in house 4
Pluto Virgo 20¢X12'06 in house 6 --- Pluto Virgo 2¢X41'50 in house 2
True Node Aries16¢X40'49 end of house 12 --- True Node Libra 6¢X36'30 in house 4
Ascendant Aries 17¢X29'41 --- Ascendant Cancer14¢X38'32
2nd House Taurus 20¢X49'31 --- 2nd House Leo 8¢X45'02
3rd House Gemini 17¢X41'14 --- 3rd House Virgo 5¢X33'24
Imum Coeli Cancer 12¢X14'07 --- Imum Coeli Libra 6¢X35'45
5th House Leo 8¢X17'44 --- 5th House Scorpio 10¢X34'34
6th House Virgo 9¢X32'00 --- 6th House Sagittarius 13¢X55'27
Descendant Libra 17¢X29'41 --- Descendant Capricorn 14¢X38'32
8th House Scorpio 20¢X49'31 --- 8th House Aquarius 8¢X45'02
9th House Sagittarius 17¢X41'14 --- 9th House Pisces 5¢X33'24
Medium Coeli Capricorn 12¢X14'07 --- Medium Coeli Aries 6¢X35'45
11th House Aquarius 8¢X17'44 --- 11th House Taurus 10¢X34'34
12th House Pisces 9¢X32'00 --- 12th House Gemini 13¢X55'27

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Posts: 50
From:
Registered: Nov 2007

posted July 12, 2008 10:33 AM         

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I'm sorry that I don't have an answer to your question, but I'm in a similar situation, and I'm also looking forward to any advice

Intuitively I would choose also the retreat route, it would be the logical thing to do (i'm also fire/air, aries/libra), because if it is true that they need lots and lots of patience, you have to think if you're prepared to live your life that way. It also gives him the choice to think about his feelings. But sadly, the logical thing to do is also very hard.

Also, I don't think it has much to do with charts, syansty, it's just the way they are with everyone. They're fearful, they do have secrets (someone said that cancer husbands cheat all the time, but they just don't get caught), and they're moody. Also, I think they have double standards, but... you fall in love with them anyway

Stay positive, that's a good ideea

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Posts: 1665
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted July 12, 2008 02:31 PM         

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maira- cancers cheat? ive been friends with many cancers and i highly doubt a cancer would cheat if he loved you....i would expect him to "cheat" if he didnt feel strongly towards you, but when theyre in love, they avoid most women with ease.

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Posts: 50
From:
Registered: Nov 2007

posted July 12, 2008 07:07 PM         

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It was a discussion on another forum, and the girls were talking about their husbands, and what to do after boredom sets in a marriage.

I don't have any planets in Cancer, so it's difficult for me to understand exactly how the cancerian mind works, I just remembered what that girl said. Truth be said, 20 years down the line, no one is "in love" anymore, that's what I was talking about.

But this is completly off-topic, lol. So, what to do when cancer retreats?

Let him be? Does he want you to pursue him?! If you don't, will he think that you don't care, and retreat even more? Is it a test or as you said, he's not that into you?

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Posts: 50
From:
Registered: Nov 2007

posted July 12, 2008 07:16 PM         

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The reason I'm also asking is because they never come out and say what they want in the initial stage, they seem to give those little tests.

I'm soo speculating here, but in Gem's case, could it be that he wanted her to get mad? The relationship on the brink of becoming comitted, she didn't say anything about it, and then she didn't get mad when she received the text. What do you think?

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Posts: 1665
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted July 13, 2008 01:59 AM         

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it sounds to me like he's f-kin with you. I guess we'll never know but the whole fake text thing is BS. Ive known cancers to accidently send the wrong "IM" or "text"....i always roll my eyes, because i know its usually just to get a rise out of me. I think with his mars in leo, hes going to pursue love with drama, he wants attention, and seeks dramatic, passionate women. He wants to be needed and adored. He probably also uses "love games" as ways to attract the opposite sex. good luck with that...cancer sun and CAP MOON? holy cr@p, i'd run.

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Posts: 320
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted July 13, 2008 05:57 AM         

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I have to agree with you write....don't think you need charts to see what's going on here.
Sorry but I think he's just lost interest.

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Registered: Jul 2008

posted July 13, 2008 06:59 AM         

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Thank you maira, writesomething and bunnies for your contribution.

I agree he has probably lost interest. But it comes so quickly so suddenly. Like still being so sweet one moment then disappeared ever since. About the wrong/fake text message, I thought it was resolved, we were as sweet as usual on the next day, never brought it up again. It was 2 weeks later he became different suddenly. I am not sure if it is related.

I think the chart can help us understand the traits of a person so we know the best way to deal with him. For instance I tried to stay calm over the wrong message thing coz a CAN/CAP like him can be super sensitive. And now, is it usual for them to turn their back 180 degree overnight? What is likely behind such behaviour? A person like me always wants to be direct and probe into the truth but it will never work with them this way. What should I do? I showed and told him I adore and care about him and he did the same a lot. He looked shy to take compliments but I know he's happy. But now what? I've lost my direction.

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Posts: 320
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted July 13, 2008 09:27 AM         

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They are funny creatures Gem.
My first husband was Cancerian and my son is one and I know what you mean about being direct...I am the same...but it freaks them out.
Let me give you an example of a conversation with my son and how I deal with it.
He will come home....big sorrowful moony face....obviously something has upset him

Me: Hello son...how was work?
Son: (sigh...sigh ....sigh....Fine
Me: Are you ok?
Son: (sigh.. sigh... sigh ...even longer sigh..sorrowful droop..."Yes"

Now this is the point where any normal person would say "Oh you look unhappy tell me what's wrong"

NO!!!!!

This is where I then go cheerily "Oh ok "

There will then follow a period of much sighing, lolling on furniture, wandering around aimlessly, picking listlessly at food, even louder sighing.

RESIST THE URGE TO SAY "What's wrong?
Because if you do they shoot back in that shell before you get out "What's......

Suddenly just before you reach the point of grabbing them and shaking them roughly shouting "For the love of God stop that bloody sighing"
a little explosion will occur and they will tell you and this is where you go back to
"Oh dear...that's terrible....what a thing to happen"

In short do nothing now!! Wait!! It will drive you crazy...but grit your teeth...draw blood in the palm of your hand..but wait.

Conversation with Aquarian daughter.
Me "Hello love how was work?
Daughter "Dreadful wait till I tell you what happened"
Me "Shall I make us a nice cup of tea and you can tell me about it?
Daughter "I've forgotten now"

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Posts: 1911
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007

posted July 13, 2008 11:47 AM         

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Bunnies

My bf´s a CANCER ASC as you know hihih

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Posts: 151
From: Tampa, Florida, USA
Registered: Dec 2005

posted July 13, 2008 01:53 PM         

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Just a clarification on the "Cancer male" thing...(I'm Cancer female, btw). My brother's a Cancer too. They're just as capable of cheating as any other one of the signs, it's just that the inclination may not come as easily or as quickly, of course, this isn't taking into consideration other factors, like the ascendant or Venus sign. Also remember Cancer is a feminine sign, ruled by the Moon and Cancer feels right at home with women. In fact, of all of the signs, a Cancer male would have no problem getting into the female psyche, identifying so closely with it himself. He can make most women feel at home, unthreatened and before you know it...Also, don't chase him nor any other man for that matter. I don't care what sign he is...if he's interested he'll come a-caling. In the meantime, get your focus off of him. Sorry to be so blunt, but just years of tears and experience have shown me to not chase men. A hard lesson learned.

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Posts: 1911
From: portugal
Registered: Mar 2007

posted July 13, 2008 03:03 PM         

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Victoriagirl is right:

it doesnt matter of what sign the man is...when they are really interested in you they show up no matter if they have other things to do or are in some other city.

Adn also,as women we deserve to be treated as special and unique persons : a man who doesnt act like that it isnt worth of our Love.

As my Mom usually says:

If It would be for my better sake,we ask GOD ( or some Higher Self we believe in) to guide his steps torwars us.
But if it would be for our upcoming sorrow,then GOD put him away from our Path.

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Posts: 1692
From: MAINE! :)
Registered: Aug 2003

posted July 14, 2008 10:27 AM         

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My bf is exactly how you described this man you are asking about.

I detatch and just let him be that way. I'm an Aqua sun, so I like the freedom.

And I don't deal with the games I somethimes think he is trying to play. He always comes back...

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Posts: 4
From:
Registered: Jul 2008

posted July 14, 2008 02:00 PM         

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Thanks very much guys. I've got back some confidence after your advice.

He IM me earlier today (1st contact in nearly 2 weeks). Without me asking he started the conversation by telling me that he's been busy at work (boss is away on sick leave) and there are issues in his family. I perfectly understand he has some hard times. What I think is no one is too busy to find a few seconds to say hello... of coz I keep this bit to myself!!

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