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Author Topic:   Sexual pressure on our Children. Can we do anything about it?
LetsDance
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Registered: Mar 2006

posted July 12, 2008 04:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LetsDance     Edit/Delete Message
MysticMelody encouraged me to create a post regarding this topic as she beautifully stated:
quote:
"We have soul unions and soul obligations to our children as well as to adult partners".

The title I wrote may sound presumptuous, but this is very real today...

I saw that new Dove commercial one evening with the little girl who didn't think she was beautiful because of all the "examples" of gorgeous women she is exposed to everyday, everywhere via advertisements, tv, videos, etc. She looks like she's only 7 years old. I didn't realize the kind of pressure sex is putting on little girls. It's wrong. Dove is doing something to help, by the way.

This thread isn't just about sexual pressure on our little girls, but our sons as well. Why? Take a look at women figures in video games, etc. We all know our children need the right kind of attention given to them appropriate to their age, consciousness, etc. But it's like they are not considered in the mix. Baby boomers and GenX'ers have been very selfish in that just because we are adults and want to watch soft porn, that we are ALL who matter.

I remember hearing a minister (don't know if I can mention his name here) say way back in 1991 that MTV was investing literally MILLIONS of dollars per year to monitor children starting in 1985. What I took from what he was saying was this:

Wise MTV wanted to study our children to find out what our children like-want-and-why, give it to them, and thereby become their "friend", so to speak. In this position, MTV becomes someone our children will respect and trust and LISTEN to, since many parents don't have/take the time. MTV will then use this information and true level of "trust" to influence future generations to "it's" way of thinking. Do you know how valuable that is, and what kind of money businesses will pay for that kind of data?

The minister's point was that most ministries/houses of worship AND parents should take a page out of MTV's book and invest in our children since they will be the future government officials, teachers, doctors, parents, etc. and therefore should be taken very seriously.

However, it seems we may have forgotten that our children are children. Either that, or we don't know how to be parents. We are so busy, we let "others" raise them, forgetting how impressionable children are. Influence is powerful, yet it seems we have given it away so casually to whoever will step up to the plate.

If this keeps up, our sons and daughters may never understand their uniqueness and value and may only think if they don't fit the "cookie-cutter" fictional example of beauty and sex, this could result in self-hatred and convince them that no one will ever love them for who they are. And all this at 7 years old...???

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MysticMelody
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Posts: 4091
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Registered: Dec 2005

posted July 14, 2008 01:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mHXEE7Pi6iQ

Sometimes i shave my legs and sometimes i don't
Sometimes i comb my hair and sometimes i won't
Depend on how the wind blows i might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video
And i ain't built like a supermodel
But, i learned to love myself unconditionally
Because i am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what i'm wearing i will always be india aria

When i look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be
And i know our creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; i'm lovin' what i see

I'm not the average girl from your video
And i ain't built like a supermodel
But, i learned to love myself unconditionally
Because i am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what i'm wearing i will always be india aria

Am i less of a lady if i don't wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows
But, i've drawn a conclusion, it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the
Game
A misconception, a vast deception
Something's gotta change
Don't be offended this is all my opinion
Ain't nothing that i'm sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson i was sent here to share wit
Y'all
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Free your mind, now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
'cuz everything's gonna be all right

I'm not the average girl from your video
And i ain't built like a supermodel
But, i learned to love myself unconditionally
Because i am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what i'm wearing i will always be india aria

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All i need is my guitar
Keep your crisp style and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Don't need your silicon i prefer my own
What god gave me is just fine

I'm not the average girl from your video
And i ain't built like a supermodel
But, i learned to love myself unconditionally
Because i am a queen
I'm not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what i'm wearing i will always be india aria

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LetsDance
Knowflake

Posts: 86
From:
Registered: Mar 2006

posted July 15, 2008 02:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LetsDance     Edit/Delete Message
Mystic, thank you for responding. I am going to read this later, gotta run a quick errand. The poem sounds deep and thoughtful...

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Natural111
Knowflake

Posts: 372
From: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Registered: Sep 2006

posted July 15, 2008 11:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Natural111     Edit/Delete Message
Letsdance, this a very provocative question you ask. Here's what I learned by watching all the kids in my family and the ones I've worked with over the years...Children simply learn from the people closest to them. What's in the TV really isn't real to them. They study us carefully, what we do as oppose to what we say. They hang on to every little action and word. And it's so simple to put our beliefs in children, good or bad. And the good will make them better, and we hope life will teach them to understand the bad was just something learned from another persons faults. Like one day, I was in the car with my nephews. And the light turned red like right before my eyes, so I stopped. But the lady behind me who was on my tail the entire time almost hit me. So she pulls right beside me and says something to me and I say something back, stopping short of calling her the b word. Then, we're driving down the street bickering. Then, I stop and turn to my nephews' eyes on me, taking in every word and action. Now here I am, the adult that they're supposed to obey acting "ignorant". So, the first thing I did was apologize to them for my behavior and told them I was wrong for reacting that way. On the flipside, one of my cousins' daughter, believes that her beauty is in her body. Well, I remember her mother saying to her once that a young kid just wanted to see her so he can get a feel on her body. She said that to her daughter!!! I was UPSET when I heard it but I didn't correct what she said at that moment like I should've. That was years ago. And she just had her first abortion. The first I know about at least. My cousin totally created that behavior in her daughter--TV just sells her the products to heal the wounds. That's all TV is medicine, temporary, elixirs for the wounds of rearing--it'll sell you whatever you need to buy to fix the problem of nurturing. I say that healthy informed parents, have healthy informed children. But THAT is rare. Because humans rarely take the time explore their insecurities. That's why I'm always trying to feel out my nephews insecurities and empower them against them while their young. I don't want them to battle everything inside of me that I had to battle, and continue to battle. But as humans, we'll always have some inner insecurity to deal with....As Doctor Phil said :-))) We'll spend a lifetime undoing what growing up did.

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LetsDance
Knowflake

Posts: 86
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Registered: Mar 2006

posted July 16, 2008 09:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LetsDance     Edit/Delete Message
Natural111, your points are exactly what is needed and the point of my post. If we as parents, or "guardian" adults of our children do not take interest in them, then someone else will. That someone could be TV or video games or some such other marketing genre. As quoted above by Mystic, "we have soul obligations to our children". You are taking the right steps.

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blue moon
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From: U.K
Registered: Dec 2007

posted July 26, 2008 06:55 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for blue moon     Edit/Delete Message

quote:
the little girl who didn't think she was beautiful because of all the "examples" of gorgeous women she is exposed to everyday

It's sad 7 year-old girls come out with things like that, but given the number of mothers I know obssessed with the same thing it is hardly surprising.


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LetsDance
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posted July 27, 2008 07:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LetsDance     Edit/Delete Message
Ah, blue moon, good point. I didn't think of that. Again, it sounds like the "all about me" mindset of many adults...we are forgetting our children are watching us.

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LetsDance
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posted July 27, 2008 07:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for LetsDance     Edit/Delete Message
Thanks for posting that, Mystic. I didn't realize the verses were a song.

IMO, that's what it's about. Teach our children to appreciate the uniqueness of themselves and how they fit into the world because of their uniqueness. Their existence as they were created is required, not optional, or else they would not be here.

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