Posts: 1135
From: Honolulu,HI
Registered: Apr 2004

posted October 11, 2008 02:29 AM         

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To have crushes on their friends?.
I had a discussion with one of women friends
and in their opinion they said it's okay,as long as the spouse/spouses don't act upon it.
What you do knowflakes think?.

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Posts: 109
From: Allier, France
Registered: Jul 2007

posted October 11, 2008 05:51 AM         

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I think it's sort of normal... especially if the relationship has gone a bit stale. I don't agree with acting on them though, mend or finish what you have already.

Having said all that I would HATE it if my OH had a crush on a friend, i would feel threatened...

Just my 2€ worth
Mel

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Posts: 7385
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 11, 2008 06:33 AM         

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I think it's only natural that you will find people that you find attractive your whole life and that doesn't stop when you marry. Marriage only changes what you do (or don't do) about it. Crushes on friends makes sense because unlike family members, we choose our friends, and they most likely reflect parts of ourselves, so if our partner finds those attractive in us, they'll find those qualities attractive in them. But then, single or not, I would never make a move on a friend's partner.

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Posts: 631
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted October 11, 2008 07:32 AM         

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Gosh Peace Angel. You are so wise.

I however always found my friends boyfriends ended up in what I called my "neuter gender" category and for some reason I never found them attractive.
They almost became like brothers.

Men who fix things however have always been my weakness.
So if a guy came along and fixed some manly task that the husband couldn't do I always felt a frissson of attraction, even if he looked like the back end of a bus!!

I called it the firefighter syndrome.
Who would NOT have to run away with someone who saved you from a burning building!!!

I mean it would be rude not to!!!

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Posts: 36
From:
Registered: Sep 2008

posted October 11, 2008 11:03 PM         

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Ok so im not married and that might change things but i was dating this guy for almost a year he was friends with my cousin and i never really questioned thier friendship or the time they spent together anyway it wasnt me that he was instrested in. He confessed his feelings to my cousin and she decied to date him. Even now they are still dating. It didnt destroy my love for my cousin but it changed our relationship. If a spouse has a crush on a friend will create tension between them maybe even mistrust

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I am a thousand shooting stars going to waste in his arms i will always be his wish but never his truth!

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Posts: 7385
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 12, 2008 08:14 AM         

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LOL bunnies

Firefighter Syndrome! I love that. I have a weakness for men who are protective. So that would translate to Policeman Syndrome.

Lets face it - we just want a knight in shining armour. No matter what he looks like. Even Shrek will do as long as he can fix things and keep us safe.

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Posts: 631
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted October 12, 2008 10:11 AM         

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Ah Peace....we are SO primeval you and I!
There he stands grunting. Our dreamboat.

"You woman...me MAN...MAN make fire...

And we would be "0h (swoon) you are just SOooo clever...

Yep, now I know where I have been going wrong all these years.
I've got chronic firefighter syndrome!

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Posts: 276
From: South Carolina, USA
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 12, 2008 10:49 AM         

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Peace.
That was actually a very thought provoking quesiton.
But it makes me ask who says that being attracted to some is ever wrong. Chemistry is chemistry and sometimes we have alot of chemistry with alot people. I think that it happens with alot of people because some people are just more aware of the presence of the chemistry or the energy as I like to think of it.
So how can an innate response be right or wrong?
It can't really, so I think what we are moved to do based on that chemistry or attraction is then the issue.
Each person has different values and so each romantic relationship between humans is very unique because where as some may not act on the chemistry, other couples may feel that it is ok to.
I personally have strong views of monogamy, so if I or the other person is in a relationship I feel like it would not be right for me to act out on those feelings, but only because I do not want it done to me. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' resonates strongly with me.
But I do not think it is bad that other couples think that, that is ok.
We are all part of this great big energy bowl, and it takes lots of different energies to complete a functioning whole.

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Scorpio Rising
Moon in Sag
Aries Sun

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Posts: 2149
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008

posted October 12, 2008 03:01 PM         

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Absolutely fine by me!
Jealousy is illogical.

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It is not about waiting for storms to pass...it is about learning to dance in the rain!
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Posts: 7385
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 13, 2008 05:22 AM         

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bunnies

Yep, there's our hero. Bare chested. Dressed in his overalls, rolled down around his hips. Leaning over broken implement. Tools of trade in hand. Biceps flexing with every motion of turning and tugging. And your eyes divert down his body - naturally, of course. And there it is - the manliest site of all. The crack of his bum. Oh, Fireman Syndrome Man - you're my hero!

Off-thread Disclaimer: Aries in Mercury in 1st house. Forgive me.

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Posts: 1156
From: ann arbor mi
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 13, 2008 11:58 AM         

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OMG>>
you forgot his toolbelt.

toolbelts are unbelievably sexy! he has to have a toolbelt.

come fix my stuff you manly man!

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Posts: 2149
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008

posted October 13, 2008 12:08 PM         

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Give me the likes of Gabriel Byrne http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbFIQiI938w

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8H3gulf4HU&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0rsvobO7qg&feature=related

Or...

Flatley, or Bowie, Gentleman, intellectuals, or even goths...but ewwwww..... no butt crack guys like have been described. Brawn without brains or suaveness and no style.....big turnoff no matter how "handy".
Women really want that? I don't get it. Vin Deisel I can see because he is not a butt crack guy...even with muscles, he has style, so does Dwayne Johnson.
Flatley:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrP9anxy0pY&feature=related

LOL! I could use a handyman to fix my house...but no bubbas please.

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It is not about waiting for storms to pass...it is about learning to dance in the rain!
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Posts: 631
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted October 13, 2008 02:18 PM         

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Oh back off Peace!!! The firefighters mine!
You've got the policeman.
Remember? With his truncheon?
Ready to defend law and order for you?

Oh let's face it. For us, it's anyone with a toolbelt!

And Gabriel Byrne is gorgeous. I saw him interviewed and he was hilarious.
I mean that's the whole package. Gorgeous to look at, Irish accent and makes you laugh.

There he is. The perfect man. Looks like Gabriel Byrne, stripped to the waist, wearing tool belt and telling jokes in an Irish accent......Where are you my love?????

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Posts: 7385
From: Australia
Registered: May 2008

posted October 13, 2008 07:06 PM         

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bunnies

Okay, okay - I concede. I suppose when you think about it - the choice between a gun and a firehose - hmmm!!! "Is that a firehose in your pocket.....?", just doesn't sound the same.

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Posts: 276
From: South Carolina, USA
Registered: Apr 2008

posted October 13, 2008 10:47 PM         

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LOL! You guys are a hot mess!
lol

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Scorpio Rising
Moon in Sag
Aries Sun

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Posts: 256
From: Stranger In A Strange Land (Eugene, OR) http://www.binky.freelife.com
Registered: Jan 2007

posted December 22, 2008 10:12 PM         

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Well..Im not married...and I still find that there is physical attraction existant with some people..amd I STILL dont act on it, even tho Im not married. Im not sure about Crushes, tho. I have Aries Rising. That would be difficult for me. Naaaa...I highly doubt that I could show that kind of understanding. Wouldnt be ok for me. But I also have Venus trine Uranus...with Uranus in 7th house...So I figure...If its gonna be like that...DONT GET MARRIED! You dont have to! Wait for what u want. If u dont find it...so what? Theres always the next life!

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