posted October 17, 2008 07:45 PM         

ok l have a problem.

NORMAL men behave normally in casual dating and relationships... but nearly 3 months ago an Aquarian moon man and l agreed to be lovers... only.

He is Leo sun...

Now, l would have thought this meant meeting up and having sex and then going our separate ways until the next time and this did happen to begin with.

Then, suddenly he came round one day and afterwards said he'd like to buy me a drink.. so we went for one and he was telling me about his work, his life, his ex relationships (one in particular that was important to him).

Then he starts telling me he missed me whilst we were making love...
Then he jokes about all his other women for the 100th time and l laugh at him and say "yeah right!" and to my surprise he says "im not very convincing, am l?"

Last time he came round he blew me a kiss when he was leaving... and today he texted me to ask me to see him tonight and l had decided it was time to get him to think about his feelings so l replied "sorry l can't... i have a date"
(i didnt really have a date)

WELL, he was straight on the phone...

he said "what??? i hope you aren't going to stop our agreement?"

I almost laughed on the phone

We wanted to know how l knew him, how good looking he was... how long id been friends with him, what l was going to wear, whether my date was better than him... so l said "hes good looking"
He wanted to know how l felt about him so l said he made me feel amazing. I can't lie about that stuff.

He asked me if l was going to sleep with the date so l said "im only having dinner!"

He told me if l thought my date was a dud. lol

THEN
He sent me a text saying "he will be a dud compared to me"

He even asked me to meet him later tonight lol cos he wants to know how it went with this guy... fact is, im staying home and wont be going anywhere

If he asks me tomorrow when l see him - l will say to him "you found me, and its your agreement so..."

Now, at midnight he's phoning me wanting to come and spend the night with me... and he can't believe i said no!

PLUS today on phone when l reminded him that l had a week off he said "lets go to the country for the night"
WOW

I adore him but what is going on ? Is this heading for a relationship?

posted October 17, 2008 11:13 PM         

I'm dealing with an Aquarian Moon man myself. He's the 2nd Aquarian Moon man and I can tell you that I'm not pleased with them because they "present" themselves as very emotionally detached, thus, telling you about past relationships and acting as if it's alright that you are just casual lovers.

After reading your post just now, I realized that he is out of his mind with jealousy, it just doesn't register as jealousy to them. It's the Aquarian Moon version of jealousy because, really, they respect freedom sooooo much that they wouldn't dream of saying to you, "Please don't see anyone else, please only be my girlfriend, etc." They will refer to you as a buddy and they will tell you that they "luv" you, which is not the same as "LOVE".

To tell you the truth, I have no idea how to get an Aquarius Moon to commit. The one I'm dealing with is actually from my past. We were lovers 12 years ago and it was casual then and he was doing the same thing then, telling me about ex-girlfriends and all. It was almost as if he laid this buddy-buddy energy on me right away that I thought "I" was the one who made the decision to make it casual. Really, it was my own value system that kicked in by saying, "Well, I'd never date a man who started talking to me about his other girlfriends or I'd never get serious about a man who did that right away. I assumed he needed a casual thing.

He is a musician and he went out on the road about 4 months after we first met and I knew that if he was going around the world, I wasn't going to fight for this casual relationship. So I just let him go and he didn't call me when he got back like he said he would and I just moved on.

The dude called me back a year later and asked if I was seeing someone one and I was. It was then that I heard his great disappointment and he began to tell me things that I never EVER thought he noticed about me and he said something about me being one of the greatest loves he ever had.

HUH???

I was flattered and confused. Then he found me 12 years later on MySpace and said he was so happy to find me, that he had been looking for me for years, if only to be friends again. He kept refering to us as great friends for years and years and I kept thinking, "I hardly know you."

So, yes, I get what you're saying. If you really like him and want it to be more than casual I suggest telling him. And make him be silent as you tell him what you would potentially like. I never did that, I still haven't. But I'm curious to see if it will work with this guy if you want something a little more committed.

I hope this made sense. I'm really tired and feel like I'm just blabbering on.

Geocosmic Valentine

posted October 18, 2008 01:41 AM         

quote:

---

I adore him but what is going on ? Is this heading for a relationship?

---

posted October 18, 2008 07:55 AM         

I don't think I can say anything helpful regarding your situation because I am not familiar with the transition process from "just-lovers" to serious relationship.

What the two of you have is working because he needs you to be his friend, not just a lover. All I know is that Aqua is a fixed sign, therefore when he falls in love with you he is not likely to change his mind anymore. The only question is, how do we know when it happens?

posted October 18, 2008 06:23 PM         

"he's confused, he's seriously considering you for something more but he definitely does not want other men intruding on his prospect. and he definitely cares about you."

So can you advise me as to whether l should just carry on as me and just not tell him when l have a date?

I have Aquarius as my 7th ruler and l actually don't mind at all how he is, it challenges my aries moon/venus. My only concern is if he just walks away having given all these signals because l can't hold back much longer on having at least some feelings!!

posted October 18, 2008 06:31 PM         

No, not at all.. nothing about him being a cheater. In fact when he speaks of his ex's it all sounds so romantic. He talks of traveling across the world to find one he misses and meets up with her on a beach. ROMANTIC!

He's very leo which my aries stellium loves... and l love that he doesnt smother me nor try to win me with presents etc.

He said to me lst night "If l gave any time tomorrow, o'll spend it with you" which l thought was just amazing.

posted November 02, 2008 03:27 PM         

I broke up with him again and then said to him "what are we going to do about this?"

He took me for lunch and l said "ok, where are we going?"
He said he doesn't want a relationship and doesn't want me to get too emotionally involved so l reminded him that it goes both ways as he was the one who was jealous about my date!!!

He said "its very rare to find someone as hot and smart as you are" WTF does that mean???

posted November 02, 2008 07:04 PM         

is he just not that interested or is he just playing cat and mouse with me?

posted November 03, 2008 08:45 AM         

You agreed to have casual sex with no strings?
He has demonstrated the male ego of assuming that that means, HE can have sex with other people but that you should remain solely for him, because no man likes another man on his territory. Normal male behaviour.

Now you feel after having sex and bonding, that you want to take it a step further and get him to commit? Normal female behaviour.

And now you cannot understand why he wont.

The answer should be, why should he?

This is every man's dream. A willing female who makes no demands.

Sorry to be blunt but it's simple evolutionary behaviour.
You played it all wrong.
You pretended you didn't want strings (even kidded yourself) when in reality you did. It's natural for women to want committment.

Why are we ashamed of expecting it?

Now you cannot understand why he won't reverse a very pleasurable and uncomplicated scenario that you agreed to, but subconsciously assumed would change further down the line.

Of course he comes on strong when he thinks it might come to an end but the moment you capitulate he relaxes. That is pure male behaviour. Not wrong. Just the way they work.
You sublimated your natural behaviour and desires for his.

Don't kid yourself ladies. Men NEED to work for a female. They need to feel that they bagged the best prize.
Don't make them work for it and you undervalue yourself and they undervalue you.
You can argue all you like and throw up all the planetary configurations but that is the basic truth.

I have said this in previous threads.
Do not expect fifty years of female emancipation to overide millions of years of evolutionary behaviour.

Learn to think like a man.

posted November 03, 2008 02:51 PM         

You got me ALL wrong Bunnies, although i think for a lot of others in hre you got it right.

It was HE that showed emotion first and l simply want to understand the leo/aqua male.

I only wanted an exclusive yet not serious relationship which is exactly what we both agreed on in the beginning.

It is HE who won't let me end it. It is HE who contacts me. I never do anything to show interest until l am actually with him.

I'm sorry you misunderstood me but you did

I had absolutely no need to have a full time man and l still don't. I like it as it is, l just don't like the to and fro with his hot and cold, treat me like a sexy buddy one minute and then like a boyfriend the next!

Why on earth would a guy want his sex buddy to visit him when he moves abroad....

Truth is, he likes me more than he thought he would but he can't admit it incase l don't reciprocate cos l haven't given him any indication that l want more!!! He has done all the running and he is still doing all the running...

if he decides that he wants to be in a casual but exclusive relationship with me then im open to it... it's almost like that anyway. He's not shagging anyone else and he won't whilst i'm around... so... that is all l wanted to know.

What is going on in his head and emotions to make him see saw!

Thanks

posted November 05, 2008 10:29 AM         

You have let us all have our say and some of it (me for example) not altogether supportive but you have taken it on the chin in good spirit, instead of getting all uppity.

I have to admire that and I will admire your choices in life. They may not be mine but what the hell do I know!!!

posted November 05, 2008 10:50 AM         

Thats pretty damn cool of you to say that, thanks

yeah l am pretty cool, in the sense that l let people be and l just go along with my thing. I'm not really a woman who gets all emotional cos i'm not needy or need a man to complete me, you know?

I'm interested for you to tell me, if you wish to... how you would do this differently please? i'm happy to learn from you and l will respect your view even if l don't take that route!

posted November 05, 2008 11:23 AM         

I wrote and someone else back there put it even better.
We think everyone should understand our need not to be hemmed in but are incapable of extending this to other mortals.

I ended up married to a Virgo. He pursued me relentlessly whilst I played the "I am a free spirit" malarkey ,until one day after the 500th
"Leave me be,do you not realise I am a creature of the air"..... he did.

I was so shocked Lara I didn't close my mouth for a fortnight.
I ended up having to marry him.
For goodness sake. I didn't actually mean it. I just liked saying it!