Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 22, 2008 02:07 AM         

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I feel so silly doing this. My Scorpio ex, and I just recently broke up. We were together for almost three years. We got into an argument about people. I have a tendency to be more concerned with groups of people which can make me seem cold. He on the other hand, is more concerned with individuals. We're both very stubborn. In the moment, I am much more than him. He can hold that anger with him much longer than I can though. He just up and left at the end of it. He wouldn't talk to me much for the first few days, but lately he's been calling and coming by more. We're still very affectionate towards each other but he said that he simply needed someone more like him. We've broken up before but I can tell it's different this time. I’m just completely crushed by the whole situation. He also said he was sick of me always telling him what to do, and that I mother him more than I act like his girlfriend. That he wanted me to be who I was when we first got together, obviously I’ve grown some since then. When I first met him I was very indifferent towards him, and obviously that is not the case now. I’m a very picky person in general, but when I did those things I was just trying to help. I never intended for him to feel bad about himself. He’ll get close to me, and then he’s jus extremely cold. I don’t know if I should give it more time, or if I should just walk away as gracefully as I possibly can at this point. He said he didn’t see us getting back together anyway. I don’t understand how he can say he still cares so much for me but doesn’t want to be with me. I am not pressuring him just sort of waiting it out. It’s just I’m being as calm, and not pushy as I can be. When I make the tiniest suggestion he gets so defensive. He’s a wonderful person, but I do not want this situation to turn into him thinking he’s going to put me in my place. I understand where he’s coming from initially, and I’m willing to tone it down. I can see how much it hurts him, and why would I purposely do that? I’m so confused. He’s leaving for Germany on Friday and this will give us about two weeks apart from each other. Perhaps that will help.

Can you please give me any insight as far as our charts go? I will post them below.

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Posts: 513
From: UK
Registered: Jun 2006

posted October 22, 2008 08:39 PM         

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This is actually a typical response for a Scorp and you kinda have to rise above it, it's difficult when emotions are involved, I know.

Try to pinpoint exactly how you feel and be completely honest. The trouble is with Scorps that they genuinely feel hot one minute and cold the next, which makes it all the more confusing for other people. If you don't want to have to put up with the rollercoaster it's probably best to let him go, but do try to achieve some sort of decent closure - I appreciate you probably haven't got long to do this!

Love,

Xena

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Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 23, 2008 02:02 AM         

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I wrote down everything in a letter this morning. I told him that I cared for him very much, but seeing as he wasn't happy it wasn't fair for me to try to hold him here. I went on to say how much I cared for him, and I hope he finds happiness and someone who he feels is a better fit for him.
About 2 hours ago he called, and apparently hadn't read the letter. I was asleep, and he offered to let me go back to bed but I said I needed to talk to him.
I explained the situation again, and he read it while on the phone. He just got angry, and said I just "killed" him, that he wouldn't of stuck around if he didn't intend on working things out, and that actually called to do that.
I'm not sure how much I believe the last part. I'd like to, but the way he threw it out there makes me wonder. I tried to be as gentle, and non judgmental as possible seeing as I never wanted to break up in the first place. I just wanted to make him happy. I've recently felt like a burden to him, and now he apparently doesn't ever want to talk to me again.
This all just seems incredibly unfair.

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Posts: 2625
From: Kyiv, Ukraine
Registered: Dec 2003

posted October 23, 2008 02:05 PM         

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seems like he has been projecting a lot..let him be..wait...he needs to realize it on his own

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Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 23, 2008 02:14 PM         

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I texted him this morning before he left for class. He called, and didn't say much. He ask what I wanted and I told him to try to understand why I feel the way I do. That he needed to take my feelings into consideration. He's not listening, and is insisting I left him. I asked if he hated me, and he said he did. I don't necessarily believe that, but I feel very much betrayed emotionally. I think I should back off for awhile.

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Posts: 513
From: UK
Registered: Jun 2006

posted October 23, 2008 07:21 PM         

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This is typical Scorpio behaviour and game-playing, they do it all the time. I'd take a break from each other - sounds like you need it. I appreciate you didn't want to break up, but, um, how many times do you want to break up and get together again? I can't understand about multiple breaking-ups and getting-togethers. I don't know, as far as I'm concerned if you want to break up it should really be for good, because it'll never be right after you break up for the first time (otherwise why would you have broken up in the first place?)

Give yourself some tender loving care and think that what will be, will be.

Love,

Xena

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Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 23, 2008 07:41 PM         

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We weren't ever constantly on and off. The break ups were just breaks that last a few days at most. We were always in constant communication. I'm just being as rational as I possibly can. There isn't much else to do. This is the first time it seems "real" which is why I was prepared to walk away from it seeing as that's what he seemed to want. Thank you for the advice though.

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Posts: 1544
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008

posted October 23, 2008 11:44 PM         

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I have Scorpio sun too and Aqua moon also.
I see he has a Pisces ascendant.
He'd be more emotional than me with my Capricorn ascendant.
I my case (November 3rd. birthday too)...when I am done with a relationship...it is done. The end. Everyone move on.
Not sure what you can do about him and you.
You are also a Leo. There can be powerful struggles even with passion in such relationships.

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It is not about waiting for storms to pass...it is about learning to dance in the rain!
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Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 24, 2008 12:16 AM         

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I don't feel much like a Leo with my heavy Virgo influence. I identify with my moon more too. I'm not even trying to go back at this point. I don't like the side of him I've seen lately.
I'm very idealistic, and ideally he isn't the type of person I want. I think I'd like more stability. It's just he was also a very good friend, and he's turned on me completely and out of no where. It isn't a good feeling.

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Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 27, 2008 09:47 PM         

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He's still in Germany but decided to pop up on messenger today as if nothing had happened. The conversation was very civil, and did lead into what was going on a bit. What's funny though is I had a dream about him just popping up the way he did, and we essentially had the same conversation in the dream.

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Posts: 203
From: Where there's dancing...
Registered: Mar 2006

posted October 27, 2008 11:44 PM         

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mrsxdwinchester, my advice is if he is still communicating. He doesn't hate you.

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Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 28, 2008 12:40 AM         

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Yeah, I guess he doesn't. He's just being terribly confusing.

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Posts: 144
From: Romania
Registered: Sep 2006

posted October 28, 2008 04:28 AM         

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mrsxdwinchester, i'm a scorpio sun with aqua moon and saggy mercury

i do the exact same thing - going hot and cold - with the people i'm in love with.It's my way of protecting myself - pretty much like the cancers way to get into their shells.I'm guilty of confusing people with my hot/cold behavior and i'm trying hard to change this the best i can and try to be consistent

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Posts: 62
From:
Registered: Oct 2007

posted October 28, 2008 05:14 PM         

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Thanks Ana. I can see he cares, but he's never been this way before. We were together for quite some time too.
He popped up again earlier, but he was much more reserved in conversation. I think he'd like to be close to me, but is still debating on testing the waters.
In his mind I left him emotionally, but he let me think that's what he wanted.

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Posts: 203
From: Where there's dancing...
Registered: Mar 2006

posted October 28, 2008 09:43 PM         

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mrsxdwinchester, as long as it doesn't bother you, stay in communication with him. As long as you are both talking to each other, there is hope for good things to come about.

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