posted November 07, 2008 11:18 AM         

(sorry couldn't help there, but I can relate to the wanting to let go but can't!)

posted November 07, 2008 11:28 AM         

I had a shaman start to cut cords months ago, which there was resistance on both ends while she did it. I did not continue with that, he came right back into my life in a major way, and now- here I am. I dont think I want to cut chords right now either.

All I want to do is give space but "i cant".

posted November 07, 2008 02:18 PM         

I can tell you're suffering. If nothing else it may give you some techniques to help you on your way.
You have nothing to lose sweetheart....except the $17.99 it may cost.

posted November 07, 2008 02:33 PM         

nightmare, huh? x

Tentacle Release Meditation - background

Energetic Tentacles

In many forms of close relationships there exists, or gets created, energetic connections that we here will call “tentacles”. These tentacles exist between parents and children, between lovers, between deeply connected friends, and in some instances they can be carried across from a past-life existence. They can be seen by good psychics.

Usefulness

The primary purpose of these tentacles is to act as an energetic support structure. For instance if a family member falls ill, then energy is supplied to the sick person via the tentacles by other members of the family. It is a connection, balancing and support system on an energetic level.

Unwanted attachment

When a relationship has come to a natural end, or to a stage where it needs to transform, habitual dependency on the established tentacle “network” or connections can act as a deterrent against individuation or completion. It’s simply too easy to remain in the energetic patterns of the past. Therefore it’s helpful if one person in the energetic dependency can become aware of this dependency so it can be broken, and the parties can move on with their lives.
Examples of unwanted attachments may be between lovers that have now parted, between mother and son, or between daughter and father, or between “outgrown” childhood friends.

Release Meditation

This meditation will disconnect the tentacles between you and another person.

WARNING

]This meditation is no joke. The other person will experience your execution of the meditation as a “sense of loss” and depending on their addiction or attachment to draw energy from you – their reaction can vary. They can experience physical symptoms and a general sense of disorientation. It can also be a good idea to make yourself “incommunicado” for a couple of days before and especially after this meditation, as they may well notice that something is going on, and they could try to get you to “reconnect” by all sorts of interesting forms of manipulation – including falling sick, or having “accidents”.

Meditation

Disconnect telephones and other interrupt agents. Go into a meditative state by sitting in a comfortable chair. Take a few connected breaths and feel the support of the chair and the ground. See yourself in front of the other person and visualise how an energetic tentacle goes from your body to theirs. This is the tentacle that belongs to you. Now – by pressing a switch you open the remote clutch mechanism that is locking your tentacle into their body. For a connection to be in place, both parties have to agree on having the clutches “locked”. But you are now opening your remote lock on the tentacles that belong to you. Your tentacle then releases, and falls to the ground.
Now you winch it in, metre by metre, on a cable drum that you have available. The next stage is to reconnect your cable into another support system – and good choices are: The Sun (for inspiration, overview and life force), The Earth (for grounding, nurturance and sustenance). Select one of these and connect your newly retrieved cable into one of them. Make the connection solid.
Now you will release their cable from your body. You press another switch and this time the local clutch that you have that is part of forming the connection with their cable opens. Their cable now falls to the ground. You now walk away from their cable, even if it may try to seek you, or even beg you to pick it up.

Golden Egg meditation

]You will now seal your energy off by doing the following meditation. This meditation can be used whenever you need to consolidate your energy. Visualise a small intensely golden glowing point that is about one and a half foot out from your body. Start seeing this point spinning an egg around your body at high speed. Weaving, and weaving, it just keeps spinning. In front, back, and underneath. It goes in all sorts of directions. After a while, look from the inside with your inner eye and see if there are any spaces you have missed. Direct the point here. When you are finished know that all the energy you need now exists within this egg.

posted November 07, 2008 07:50 PM         

I may have heard you mention that book Bunnies, and I will look into it.

Trust me I have had breaks with him over the almost five years now and we never officially broke up ever not even now, its just a space, and I sit and get more and more upset and impatient because I havent seen him in forever and the last time we did -wow- we were really going somewhere. Typical Aqua stuff I guess.
But its the getting upset and almost breaking my own heart that I really believe is one of the causes for this distance. Oh how I whailed last night!
I am giving space today again. day before yesterday I was demanding and that made it worse. Im not ready to end it! not now! sigh....

Lara, I am going to do one of those meditations, you know, a good psychic had described the tentacles she saw with us and the contract we have. She said it is written all over my back. I would love some hot stones on my back right now. I think he needs to feel me detach, its one of those aqua traits. I have the independent ability, I do, and thats why it has worked for so long, but, there is this whole different side of me that is nurturing, that he loves, but is tainted with a heartache and sensitivity. I really do need to clear this.

And when you have a kid on top of it all it can be distracting you know?

One day at a time.

posted November 08, 2008 11:55 AM         

Sometimes, just knowing what is going on and being aware is at least some advantage. That way, you're not kicking and flailing about, wondering 'why'.

Cutting cords is a very good start, plus, it's also a cerebral process too. Take a look at your thinking habits and what's on your mind or where your attention is. Then try to train yourself to focus on something beneficial to you (put your attention some place else)...a hobby, a movie, whatever it takes to re-focus.

posted November 08, 2008 06:35 PM         

I feel it is the constructive thing to do for me, my life and family, and the relationship- where ever its going.

posted November 08, 2008 08:27 PM         

it's so hard to chill out though lol
it eats you up and the only way is to tell yourself things that are negative about him and that you deserve BETTER!

posted November 08, 2008 09:20 PM         

I expect that most of the time, except when Im wishy washy and get pulled down into beleiving BS about myself that isnt good...

posted November 09, 2008 10:41 AM         

We know that-
But it is the attachment.....

BD-

"I tell him how i feel and he tells me hes not trying to hurt me and he doesnt want to lose me. Im so confused."

hang in there.

I have said that many times, I am refraining from saying that right now, even though I know its the truth but just doesn't look good on paper....my friends have heard it all a thousand times. Yet they still see me in my upset moments now and then. Dealing with this takes a combination of toughness and softness.

So if you know it, store that in your mind before you go off the deep end and mess things up.
I have done that alot and he still comes back like I wasn't a bad girl going crazy, cause he knows he was being kind of a **** in the first place.

I wont mention our texts lately, but things are clearing up....

Thats the thing- we have managed to stay together for so long and it is not conventional by any means- that is what makes it exciting, but at the same time- I could do better!

It has been a long road, and still after all this time, Im dealing with the same stuff I was a few years ago. Our first year together was really good. Then we separated for three months, then got back together, then a few months after that, some problems.... I think we have cycles and it is something to live with- but that does not mean after all the experience and knowledge it doesn't make me any less crazy. And almost five years now, that makes me think.

I will let go completely, everyone when I am ready to.

for now, its a combination of toughness and softness for my own survival.

I have also been doing Violet light protection meditations I found on iqhunks website and it really works, in fact I will be doing that soon this morning, and going to some Kundalini yoga or painting, and not thinking about him. I got some free time today without kid so I will make the most of it and not sulk around.

posted November 09, 2008 05:28 PM         

He knows it too, and what it's doing to you and your relationship. You don't have to throw the baby out with the bath water (give it up completely) and from what you wrote, you know that...so...just move towards a comfortable place for you.

Perhaps some interests that will help you refocus for a few hours every day, immerse yourself with something that ignites creativity or passion in you that you will look forward to doing every day or when you have time for it.

This helps to relieve your pressure and thoughts about your relationship and puts you in a good place to deal with it and your life in general.

posted November 09, 2008 05:42 PM         

Funny thing is, we just hung out for a little bit, it was peacefull and comfy, and then he had to get back to work and I kept this new sense I have gained. Thanks to writing about it, and all the wonderful support from others here, and the other things I am doing for my own well being.

Time will tell.

posted November 10, 2008 12:04 PM         

If you try- to just be at peace, it can do alot of good. The tough times will make you stronger and will serve as a tool for later on, when you are with him- and what he needs most is your support without hassle or feeling your fear or pain.

Trust me, I know how you feel, but somehow, it will pass.

posted November 10, 2008 06:23 PM         

Mine texted me today after a week of silence.. he had read on my facebook status that l was ill and so texted "sorry to hear you are ill"