Posts: 9
From: Killeen, Texas USA
Registered: Nov 2008

posted November 21, 2008 08:56 AM         

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I'm totally confused about my Cancerian. I'm married, but that didn't stop us from having sexual bliss. His touch made me feel safe, warm, wanted, & relieved. Now he says, it really bothers him that I'm married. Now he's "seeing someone right now". I don't know if I should leave it alone or if I should tell him every once in a while that I need him or would like to go to a movie, etc. I really love having him around because he really responds to my flirtatious moments with him, like gently rubbing my hand, etc. Now he's gone.
Hubby is deployed. I'm in my 3rd deployment (12months long each time) as a spouse so I'm really losing all morality here.

I told my Cancerian that I don't want to have sexual relations with anyone else and that I feel good around him, love his touch, etc. and he told me that I can share all those intimate things with hubby when he gets back.*Gasp* It's 9 months from now!!! Plus hubby was almost killed a week ago! Now what? Cancerian kept my nerves right. I would like to keep him, but I'm afraid he'll retreat or snap at me because he's "seeing someone right now." What should I do?
I'm a clingy Gemini but love having my flirtatious abilities. My sun, moon, Mars, Ascendant and Chiron are in Gemini. And have Scorpio, Aquarius, Taurus, Aries, Sagittarius, and Capricorn in others. YIKES!
Anyways, what should I do? Wait for my Cancerians relationship to be over? or snatch him back?

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Posts: 1191
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006

posted November 21, 2008 09:53 AM         

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*covers eyes*

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Posts: 2367
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted November 21, 2008 10:00 AM         

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if a cancer guy is seeing another chick, he wont respond to your flirtations..thats my experiences anyway.

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Posts: 2367
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted November 21, 2008 10:01 AM         

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hey deux...whats up with your location? making fun of me? lol...

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Posts: 9
From: Killeen, Texas USA
Registered: Nov 2008

posted November 21, 2008 11:15 AM         

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Deux why'd you cover your eyes?
Thank you for replying quickly everyone.
Feel free to keep posting because I'm definitely reading.
I even asked him if he had feelings for me and he wouldn't tell me. He said, "do whatever you want to do." Thats when I had a feeling he was looking around. I was TRYING to be considerate but it crushed me when he said that. I think he does though because he got really jealous when I took one of his friends home after the bar. Nothing happened. He just asked for a ride home! But after that night he distanced himself and yeah, here we are now!

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Posts: 1191
From: Meet Me in Sofia
Registered: Nov 2006

posted November 21, 2008 11:32 AM         

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Writesomething

Hahahaha! Noooooo!
Yeah, I copied yours. And you should see that as a compliment.

Clingy

I covered my eyes because I didn't know what to say. LOL
What I know is that a Cancer wants to know where they stand at the onset of a friendship/relationship. If they don't see any future, they leave.
How old are you and the Cancer?

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Posts: 9
From: Killeen, Texas USA
Registered: Nov 2008

posted November 21, 2008 11:41 AM         

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I'm 23 two children divorced, remarried. Haven't been single since I was 16. He's 29. I've been through more "life reality" experiences than most people my age. I grew up too fast. *Emotionally distressed*. My chart contains some madness, here it's copied and pasted:

Here's my chart. I was told by an astrologer to "not get married and not to have kids." WELL, I was already married and nine months pregnant at the time. Now I'm remarried and have two children now. Is there something crazy in my chart can someone elaborate on this?
Sun is in d Gemini 0` 27' 36" +20` 14' 56"
Moon is in d Gemini 19` 16' 14" +25` 43' 09"
Mercury is in s Taurus 12` 13' 32" +13` 34' 00"
Venus is in a Aries 17` 01' 56" + 5` 39' 45"
Mars is in d Gemini 17` 18' 58" +23` 33' 20"
Jupiter is in b Aquarius 16` 38' 27" -16` 25' 04"
Saturn is in x Scorpio 24` 23' 43" -16` 34' 56"
Uranus is in c Sagittarius 16` 38' 40" -22` 47' 48"
Neptune is in v Capricorn 3` 04' 29" -22` 14' 39"
Pluto is in x Scorpio 2` 36' 30" + 3` 49' 17"
N. Node is in s Taurus 18` 13' 03" +17` 15' 21"
Ascendant is in d Gemini 22` 11' 47" +23` 12' 41"
Midheaven is in n Pisces 2` 39' 07" -10` 31' 48"
Chiron is in d Gemini 8` 08' 12" +17` 34' 58"

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Posts: 9
From: Killeen, Texas USA
Registered: Nov 2008

posted November 21, 2008 11:46 AM         

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Another problem is, he says we can still be friends!?!?! Does he really mean this? Why hold on to me? Does he want me around just in case the relationship doesn't work? I'm totally confused.

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Posts: 2367
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted November 21, 2008 01:12 PM         

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moon opposite uranus...venus trine uranus point to me you need a lot of space, and arent likely to be a "1 man type" of woman, eventually you'll always get bored, and want to explore. i wouldnt even say with so much certainity if it wasnt for the gemini planets...this causes even more changeability in your relationships, venus in aries, causes love at first sight syndrome, and the chase. where is the chase in a committed relationship? i think youre probably a very intriguing, fun person to be around, but i think the men you are attracting(particularly the cancer), know deep down...even if you got divorced, and got with him, you probably cheat on him too.
its not fair to him....most cancers need faithful partner. he knows he cant get it with you, so he found someone else. your mercury conjs your north node...this points to your life path, being even more mercurical statement, your life is about traveling, and not being in the same place, and also communicating. interesting chart, i love geminis...even though, theyre flakey sometimes...if you can find a good man, to accept you for who you are, then god bless you. i think with pluto transit your 7th, and saturn in the 5th, a divorce could happen soon, a change in your marriage is very likely. either gets stronger, or completely dissolves. all relationships are in pluto themed. obsession, passion, possibly true love...i think, you need to decide what you want? its not fair to expect the cancer to keep seeing you, and wanting you, and youre still married. you need to be honest with the cancer, with yourself, are you willing to leave your husband? if so, try to make it work with the cancer. but work on yourself first, and foremost. who am i to judge true love, if it is true love you find outside of your marriage? but also be a above person during this time, and be honest...

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Posts: 2367
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted November 21, 2008 01:14 PM         

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deux- where the heck is sofia?

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Posts: 1549
From:
Registered: May 2004

posted November 21, 2008 03:15 PM         

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Sofia is the capital of Bulgaria.

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Posts: 9
From: Killeen, Texas USA
Registered: Nov 2008

posted November 21, 2008 04:39 PM         

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Thank you so much. All that you've said I've thought about. It's all so jumbled sometimes and overwhelming. More so, I wish I could explain everything to my Cancerian but he's *poof* right now. It was so hard to get him to come around when I'd say "I need to talk to you" lol, not really a good thing anyone wants to run into.
Anyways, I'm a very intriguing, tricky person, but all in all I love to take care of people and are sensitive to the way I word things to avoid conflict. Cancer is actually in my second house on the charts. I tend to hold on dearly to anything or anyone I truly love and adore.
With deployments all the time, I get very fearful of being left alone in this world, so for the time being I have fliratious "back-up plans," but of course, with the Cancerian I didn't know what I was getting myself into. The deepness, that is. He really is a lovely person. He always talked my ears off and was very gentle. I respect him.
I was a little furious at first. He was the one that bugged me for the loving, not me. I guess thats why I was more furious than anything on him finding someone. It's only fair though, bullcrap aside.
He actually made me see the light at the end of the tunnel, to do right with my husband (after soaking up some loving). Put me back on track.
My marriage on the other hand, we have a ways to go to really learn about each others good and evils. We're pretty open with each other, but of course some things I will take to the grave. He's a Libra.
I'm trying to be real with myself, but sometimes I get caught up that my TWIN gets locked away and I forget all about her. I really have to learn to balance all this out. It says in Linda Goodmans "Love Signs" that Geminis tend to fly the coop and forget how to get back home. I'm hoping hubby can truly understand the true me. You're right.
I'm so emotional right now. My chart is a little strange to me.
What do you think about what the astrologer said?

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Posts: 382
From: Studio City, CA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted November 21, 2008 05:35 PM         

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No matter what his impulses led him to do initially, Cancers are stereo typically very traditional and loyal. And in the traditional mindset, marriage is sacred. He’ll also be empathic enough to put himself in your husband shoes, and probably feels horrified by the thought that anyone would ever betray him like you are betraying your husband. So in the long term, he would never be ok with being the man you cheated on your husband for, and as sad as it sounds, my guess is that he looks down on your for not being more loyal (even though he had a part to play in it).

I would let your Cancer go – hopefully he’s found a nice girl – just let them be happy.

And I’d also like to beg you to consider divorcing your husband instead of cheating on him. You’ll kill a little part of him if he ever finds out about this – his self confidence, his faith in humanity and love will be irreparably damaged. If you’ve ever loved him, then don’t do this to him. Either stay faithful or leave him and be your own woman.

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Posts: 9
From: Killeen, Texas USA
Registered: Nov 2008

posted November 22, 2008 10:33 AM         

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Civilians don't understand what a military community goes through with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 back to back deployments. Relationships go through very tuff times. A spouse that is still here when redeployment happens is like finding gold at the end of the rainbow. It's a beautiful thing. My husband and I work together to maintain each others needs emotionally, mentally, and well we obviously can't physically (right now anyways).

The reality is, through all this we're happy to say "yes, I'm still here, yes your belongings and financial security are still here, everything is taken care of for you, your children are fine, just make sure you're ok and come home."

Marriage isn't a pedestal. It runs much deeper than "being your own women" and leaving him just because sex got in the way. And my husband knows and understands this. I wouldn't rip my family from its roots because "I couldn't control my sexual & emotional urges."

It's difficult to have people in life that truly understand the situation at hand. To actually stop and think about the bigger picture of it all.

As far as the Cancerian goes, I hope he's happy. I asked advice on here just to know whether I should leave him at peace because Cancerians do the poof thing. I'm a Gemini and tackle things out front not retreat into my shell. I get down to the bottom of things with communication.
"Looking down on me for an action that takes TWO" is ridiculously childish, deeply in denial, and just plain sticking his head in the sand to keep from looking at that crooked picture on the wall. Whatever makes him happy I guess.

I live my life the way I see fit not the way the world thinks I should. That's just knowing oneself. Comforming to others belief systems just because it's easiy spelled out for you is, well, not being real with your true, inner self.

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Posts: 2367
From: meet me in montauk
Registered: May 2006

posted November 22, 2008 11:14 AM         

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hey, i hope youre not feeling too judged here...i hope everything works out the way you want, and youre happy. i dont think cancer male is even compatible with your planets, and chart in general. you need maybe a sag, or aquarius.

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Posts: 2817
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted November 24, 2008 10:40 AM         

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oops!

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Posts: 2817
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted November 24, 2008 10:53 AM         

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Hy gem !
Call it coincidence ,i met a gem some months back , same age as you (and i am 28 almost same age as your man ) , not married but she has a bf of seven yrs . became good friends ,eventually we got physical .

Well i dont have any sentimental feelings for her . good feeling for her , nothing more .Though she has got a bit of sentimental .

Being in situation , my feeling is your cancer isn't meant for u . He never actually took you seriously . As for his making the move , i must tell you - the ever courteous cancer can always confuse people . his objective was always to get physical .
People get confuse bcos a cancers behaviour even in these deals is very respective (i call it a deal - bcos in a cancer mind - this isn't a relation )

and someone rightly said , cancer see relation in long term perspective ,always . all else is a deal to the typical businessmen crab.

so , i feel you shouldn't have any expectations .

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Posts: 804
From: Pennsylvania
Registered: Dec 2005

posted November 24, 2008 12:21 PM         

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Isolaede, I agree with you 100%.

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Posts: 9
From: Killeen, Texas USA
Registered: Nov 2008

posted November 24, 2008 12:56 PM         

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Hello everyone,

Even in the Linda Goodmans "Love Signs" it says the Cancerian man has more than a "hankerchief" pocketed for his Gemini lady (hence always had something physical planned). Understandable.
I'm glad Cancer responded with the similar situation. I appreciate you sharing it.

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