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Author Topic:   realtionship advvise
Beloved Princess
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From: Delhi India
Registered: Aug 2007

posted August 29, 2007 05:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Beloved Princess     Edit/Delete Message
Hi,
I am a 32-year-old Scorpio woman married to a Gemini and blessed with a baby girl.

My concern is I always wanted my husband to be a friend to me with whom I could share everything, romantic, and freaky. But he is totally opposite. Since marriage till date I feel it’s just a compromise I am doing with my life and happiness. He is loving caring but does not reveal it. I don't want to do job because my health does not support me but he forces me. I never felt love for him; it’s just an attachment. We never have open conversations about anything; I cannot take my own decision, whatever I do I have to ask him. He used to love a girl but could not marry her. I have seen her cards and love letters and realized that may be my husband has already given all his love and romance to his girl friend so he has nothing left for me.
Now after so many years of our marriage I came across a man who is 5 years younger to me a PISCES. It was a phone friendship, we use to chat the whole day, and I started loving him and he too. Initially I thought it was just an attachment but I was wrong. I had never seen him and was hardly concerned about his looks. He made me feel what I always wanted my husband to do. He made me realize I exist. HE knows me 100% and my husband knows me not even 20%. This phone friend of mine is a big flirt, he is sexual oriented and he is so honest that he told me what he want out of me.
We have met once and that was our first and last meeting. And I insisted to meet. He being GEM of a man He did not even touch me. May be he wanted to give time to it.
Now he is not in the town he has left the city for good forever. We are no more in contact but I still love him keep mailing him and love to read about him on sights. I want him back in my life. He is not contacting me because my husband came o know about our friendship and he don’t want to spoil my married life.
Now my concern is since the day my husband knows about our relationship he is being abusive with me and even hit me at times. While he has no idea that I love this man and also this friend of mine love me. My husband is aware that we are not in contact now. But he is not willing to understand this.
I am taking all the crap my husband is giving me because of my daughter. I know things will be ok but I no love for my husband in my heart its only attachment but I love this friend of mine a lot and want him in my life as a good friend.

I don’t know what to do I am a daydreamer now, always dreaming of him. Don’t know what to do.
Please advise

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Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 551
From:
Registered: Feb 2007

posted August 31, 2007 01:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
Princess, you need to rescue yourself and your daughter from your marriage.

Your husband is abusive. He will also hurt your child, emotionally if not physically. Loving someone new has helped you remember that you love yourself, and that you deserve a life filled with love.

You need to find friends or family who will support and help you to leave your husband. Or, if you don't have them, look online for local resources. And you will need to work to earn your own income that allows you to care for your child.

Stand on your own two feet. It is understandable that the Pisces awakened good feelings and hope in you, but you will need to find a way to provide hope, support, security, joy, independence and love for yourself, and for your daughter.

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Beloved Princess
Knowflake

Posts: 3
From: Delhi India
Registered: Aug 2007

posted September 03, 2007 02:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Beloved Princess     Edit/Delete Message
Our married life is about to come to an end as my husband now knows that I love another person and he is not ready to live with me any more. But for me its not possible to leave him I am so attached to him that I can leave that friend for him. I am in a fix right now. Don't know what to do.I am still trying to save my married life. Its difficult? My heart is not supporting me to depart nor is my mind. Its painfull and hurting.

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Lucia23
Knowflake

Posts: 551
From:
Registered: Feb 2007

posted September 03, 2007 05:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
I'm sorry you're hurting. When you are very attached to somebody, it can be painful to leave, even if it's not an energizing, joyful attachment. Right now, as you leave your marriage, you'll feel pain, fear and loneliness. But when you separate from your husband--who did not give you the love, friendship, freedom and energy you needed--you'll be surprised by the positive energy and love for your life and the world that comes flooding through you.

It IS right to depart. Sometimes when you are in an abusive relationship, you are too frightened or lonely or sad to listen to your own heart and mind and really HEAR yourself. When someone hits you or abuses you, or even just ignores you and doesn't show his love or give you the friendship you crave, you lose self-confidence.

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