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Author
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Topic: Self Acceptance
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Meduza
unregistered
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posted November 26, 2008 10:54 PM
 
Hey guys, I have been dealing with feelings of intense guilt and shame over some things I have done in my past. It’s very difficult to like myself right now. I have come to hate myself and it’s killing me. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can forgive myself and move forward?
Thanks in advance, Meduza
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alma_pisces
Newflake Posts: 18
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 26, 2008 11:12 PM
I understand what you are going through because I am going through the same feelings of guilt and shame for things I have done also. I wish I could give u an answer or some kind words but I am in need of the same. Maybe all I can say right now is that you are not alone. Nobody is perfect. Everybody makes mistakes and just the fact that you are feeling bad about it sais that you have a good heart. Sometimes we do what we think is right for us at the moment but we have to learn to let go of the past and live in the moment. That is all I can say for now. I would like to see what other kind words people have regarding feelings of guilt. IP: Logged |
Lavlee
Newflake Posts: 2
From: Yes
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted November 27, 2008 01:18 AM
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heart cakes
unregistered
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posted November 27, 2008 03:45 AM
i have been struggling with guilt about something bad that happened that i was a part of, even though it wasn't actually even my fault. guilt can eat at you.. and i've watched it cause my father great suffering. i am familiar with this one. i started taking the flower remedy PINE and it has worked wonders..Dr. Bach's Description: For those who blame themselves. Even when successful they think that they could have done better, and are never content with their efforts or the results. They are hard-working and suffer much from the faults they attach to themselves. Sometimes if there is any mistake it is due to another, but they will claim responsibility even for that.
Dr Bach said that this feeling of guilt and self-reproach was a waste of time, for the faults of the past are but experiences to teach us not to make the same mistakes again. A lesson once learnt will guide us happily through any same experience in the future. The positive aspect of Pine is seen in those who acknowledge their faults but do not waste time dwelling on them, having learnt from them to avoid repetition. They are those who are willing to take responsibility and bear the burdens of others if it will truly help them, but having the wisdom to know this is not always the best way of helping. They have great powers of perseverance and are humble about these gifts.
http://www.herbalremedies.com/pine10mlvial.html lavlee, that books sound really wonderful! thank you for suggesting it.. IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 314
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 27, 2008 06:24 AM
Is there any thing you can do to make amends for the hurt you caused?
If not, then you are allowing those deeds to carry on with their destruction.But can you not see that you have learned from it and are not going to repeat it?
That's not a negative.
There is nothing you can do about the past. Acceptance of that will help you. Also may I suggest hypnotherapy?
Paul McKenna does some wonderful CD's that you can listen to at home. But oh my God. We have all been like a one person destructive force of Nature at some point in our lives. I shall tell you a little story.
When I was living in South Africa and was heavily pregnant I was lying in bed and there was a cricket singing outside the window.
Being a moaning old wotsit I said to the husband
"I can't stand that noise. I can't sleep. Do something! So out he went into the bushes armed with a can of SUPER DOOM. This is what I heard
"Chirrup, chirrup. chirrup"
SQUIRT!!!! Silence...... Well I was beside myself. What had that poor thing ever done to me other than go about its business? "You killed it!! I wailed to the poor bemused husband still clutching the can of pesticide. I don't want to trivialise your problem. But from that day forward I never killed knowingly another living thing.
He saved the life of millions. Forgive yourself. IP: Logged |
bunnies
Knowflake Posts: 314
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 27, 2008 06:28 AM
Sorry Meduza I have just read that back.
When I said "You are allowing those deeds to carry on with their destruction"
I meant by damaging yourself.
I am sure that whatever you did in the past is no longer the same for others.
If you cannot make amends then learn from it and know that in some way it benefited you.
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oneruledbymars
Knowflake Posts: 765
From: South Carolina
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted November 27, 2008 11:15 AM
Meduza, Heart Cakes,
I am sad to hear what you guys are going through.
Those are not fun times in our life paths. But they certainly are times we can use to learn just what we are made of.
Strengthen your spirtuality and your connection to the Divine. He is the only one that can carry your right now.
Meditate and ask him to give you strength. And then pay attention to his answers, they are always there if we just open our minds and hearts and acknowledge the source.May I ask whats got you 2 so down? Care to share......? Oh and Bunnies: _______________________________________________________
But oh my God. We have all been like a one person destructive force of Nature at some point in our lives.
------------------------------------------- I couldn't help but laugh at what you wrote, sometimes I think of how I was when I lived unconsciously and all I can do is shake my head.
A one person destructive force of Nature is the perfect title!! LOL ------------------
Scorpio Rising
Moon in Sag
Aries Sun IP: Logged |
teaselbaby
Newflake Posts: 0
From: Ohio
Registered: Jul 2009
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posted November 27, 2008 12:01 PM
I've been there ~ struggled with guilt and shame over the smallest things ~ and wish I had some advice for you.  I've bookmarked this thread, and your other one, to come back to whenever I've fallen back into the hole with those feelings. It's easier for me to forgive others, than it is to forgive myself (I keep thinking "I should have known better!").I'm glad heart cakes posted about the Pine Flower Essence ~ I was going to order some in May, but ended up not doing so. When I can afford it, I'll order some.  IP: Logged |
heart cakes
unregistered
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posted November 27, 2008 03:00 PM
oneruledbymars, thank you for your nice words. well it was actually something someone did to me that i had no control over, and the way it all happened made me seem responsible even though i wasn't, but just the fact that i seemed responsible made me feel tremendous guilt! but i think even in situations where someone DOES hurt anyother person, or whatever it is, is just there to teach us something, to teach ourselves self forgiveness, and to teach others forgiveness. my dad is a violent alcoholic and feels SOOO incredibly guilty. my mom was a total psycho and was extremely abusive to me but feels no guilt at all (has never apologized or admitted a thing). so i learned about forgiveness VERY early. when you deny someone forgiveness, you harden up your own soul and heart, by failing to nourish it with loving feeling, and this includes forgiveness of yourself. EVERYONE makes mistakes and i do believe everything happens for a reason. if we could ALL learn our lessons more gracefully and humbly we would cease to perpetuate them.. it's either judgement or forgiveness, right? IP: Logged |
Meduza
unregistered
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posted December 29, 2008 10:42 AM
Thanks for all your feedback, guys : )IP: Logged |
loe
Newflake Posts: 0
From:
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted January 01, 2009 04:41 PM
Hello Meduza!
ok, easier said than done, but you have to forgive yourself. Learn by what you have done, and let go. There are no sins, only mistakes. What happened was meant to happen, you had to do what you did.
Imagine if you could remember everything you had done in past incarnations. But you don t, you let go of that, otehrwise your life would be unstandable.
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Chryseis
unregistered
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posted January 01, 2009 05:31 PM
Hi Meduza,I agree with loe. Here's a suggestion for you.... Write every detail on what you think, feel etc about it all.
Then plan a ceremony...
Choose a place near big water
Choose a spot to make a small firepit(just some rocks and careful not to set the place on fire, watch for windiness)
Go in clean clothes, and be freshly washed and groomed
Take some incense(with good purifying uplifting qualities)
Burn you written stuff, and then burn some prepared prayers for yourself 
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LEXX
Moderator Posts: 4013
From: Still out looking for Schr�dinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 02, 2009 06:11 PM
For myself I bear in mind that was the me then, not the me now.
I feel I have learned from my mistakes or poor choices. I cannot change the past but I can move on with my life and try to do better. Feeling shameful about what is done is fruitless. It is the past. Its not always easy but forgiving yourself and accepting the old you and embracing the new you is important.------------------
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain. IP: Logged |
blue moon
Knowflake Posts: 1344
From: U.K
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 03, 2009 03:33 AM
Breaking it down I think I go in three stages:1. * I went about that all wrong
* I should have kept my big gob shut
* I should know better at my age
* I shouldn't let my temper get the better of me Why did I do that? 2. If an apology will make things better, I go do that. It might not be possible or it might make things worse. So then I will have to accept that. 3. How am I going to do better next time?
Mostly in my life this has involved learning when to say nothing and to keep control of my temper. Which you will see on my chart in a ASC/MERC/VENUS/MARS/NNode T-Square, a volatile beast.
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Meduza
unregistered
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posted January 06, 2009 02:02 PM
awesome, suggestions...thanks, guys : ) IP: Logged |
Lucia23
Knowflake Posts: 1835
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted January 10, 2009 03:05 PM
I have some suggestions.-Volunteer!! Turn your energy outward. There are people in the world experiencing emotional pain, hunger, need, and just bad luck. Also, trees, endangered critters, and other natural things that might need your help. Opening your heart to others and alleviating their struggles is a great way to feel much, much better...but if it doesn't work and you still feel crappy, you are still helping the world. You can pick a good volunteer position based on your Sun Sign or the house placement of your sun (as a Leo, I lead creative writing workshops for economically disadvantaged kids and kids whose parents are in prison; a Sadge will want to go volunteer in some distant country; a Virgo will volunteer at a hospice; Cancer or Taurus a sooup kitchen...) -Live in the present moment -Practice lovingkindness meditation. This is another way of turning outward. Each day, take a moment to wish ALL BEINGS (including you) happiness and the causes of happiness, and freedom from suffering and the causes of suffering. -Say NO to everything in life that is not both truthful and beautiful. Drop any unpleasant obligations that corrode your emotional resources. This will give you more energy to heal yourself and also to help others. -Feed yourself emotionally with inspiration. Choose books, movies, art, friends, and influences that reflect the world you WISH you lived in. Say no to influences that give you a yucky feeling, even if it's very subtle. -Get out into nature. (I love the poem "Wild Geese" by Mary Oliver on this subject. Google it!) -Heal yourself from the outside in, with detoxifying, healthy, energizing foods and LOTS of intense, sweaty, regular exercise. These choices help give your body and hormone system the resources to heal and rebuild emotionally. Similarly--take a breather from any drugs (even/especially prescription drugs) or alcohol. -Trust your intuition. Good luck! I wish you happiness. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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