Posts: 137
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted December 03, 2008 05:32 PM         

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Maybe you guys can help me understand this mentality?

I know a cancer very much in love with a girl. The timing is not right tough, and he is crushed. However, rather than saying anything to her, he bounces w/o saying anything? What's the justification here?

He says it's too painful to say goodbye? Really? I find that line of thinking difficult to understand.

He is lovely overall, but this thing threw me off...

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Posts: 738
From: USA
Registered: Aug 2005

posted December 03, 2008 08:02 PM         

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I for one would sure like to know the answer to that also.

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Posts: 34
From:
Registered: Sep 2008

posted December 04, 2008 01:00 AM         

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I think sometimes in the act of trying to be selfless we can sometimes be very selfish. I beleive the cancer might be afraid to say goodbye because he cares for her and saying goodbye may become impossible if he sees any sort of emotion in her eyes. He may be afraid that he cant let go so he just walks away. I can understand where hes coming from but i dont think that its fair. She will always question herself. She will always wonder why she wasnt worth at least a goodbye. Thats just my take on things.

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I am a thousand shooting stars going to waste in his arms i will always be his wish but never his truth!

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Posts: 137
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted December 04, 2008 12:37 PM         

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Broken,

I like your post as I have done a similar thing in the past.

I had a cancer disappear for a few and then show up with a heart felt apology. I have known a sag who bounced for like a year and a half and tried to come back to his girl. Needless to say, she didn't have him back.

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Posts: 137
From:
Registered: Feb 2008

posted December 05, 2008 02:08 PM         

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Broken,

Also wanted to add that I don;t think anyone should be granted the power to make anyone else feel "unworthy of a goodbye".

What I mean by this is, if someone leaves that way, they were, in fact, the unworthy one. The wrongdoings or shortcomings of others are not a reflection of our worth (a sense of which comes from within), but a function of their own deficiencies.

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Posts: 34
From:
Registered: Sep 2008

posted December 05, 2008 09:24 PM         

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Meduza, i agree with you completely. Ones self worth should not be reflected by another persons flaws. I wouldnt think that she would question her self worth i would hope that she would only question her worth to him. If she was not worth a gooodbye then how could she ever truly believe that she meant something to him. It is not her own character that she should question but it is his character.

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Posts: 1573
From: canada
Registered: Sep 2007

posted December 05, 2008 10:57 PM         

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i had a thing with a cancer about a year ago. same thing. it was very intense (but long distance except for one beautiful night together) and we communicated heartily for a few months. then he just dang disappeared, with no explaination. NO idea why, either! he had a gemini moon too, so a bit of a flakey character i guess. oh and then several months later he emailed me to ask what sauce i had used for our dinner. odd fellow.

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Posts: 413
From: atlanta, georgia
Registered: Jan 2005

posted December 05, 2008 11:07 PM         

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Yes,exactly...way too painful to let go and the act itself is so excruciating that most cancers would rather just leave than go through it. Its worse if in some way he felt at any point of the courtship that he was rejected, that could add to the decision to completely cut her off from his life.

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