posted January 06, 2009 09:54 AM         

So I really like this Capricorn, he's everything I could have ever imagined. Open minded, generous, caring, humorous, friendly, and loving but I am scared to stay with him even though I've know him for three years going on four and just yesterday I did the duck, turn and run tail on him again and left him yet again saying "I really love you and care for you but I don't know what else I can do for you". It's not him it's me, I feel I have some growing up to do, some soul serching to get done in order for this to be a relationship without the push/pull insanity Im putting him through.

I just wanted to ask what could be causing me to do the push/pull/run on him and how could I fix or learn from it?

Im not sure how to post charts here yet but here's our birth info:

posted January 06, 2009 10:10 AM         

http://www.stevegunn.net/

At the very least he has some wonderful articles that he has written that are posted there that can help you do some soul searching.

What you have here is a soulmate connection, of what magnitude, only really you know that answer, but whatever the case it is not to be treated lightly, but to be learned from for the gift that it is.

Meanwhile there is lots of knowledge about the true nature of your relationship and yourself to be learned from Astrology. If you go to Astro.com and then post your chart here, it is easier for everyone to look at it and from what I can tell, you get more responses.

posted January 07, 2009 05:22 AM         

It sounds like a soulmate connection to me too. I'm amazed at how many people turn tail and run from soulmates...but you know, a lot does get demanded of you from a relationship like that, so it's like you know almost unconsciously that you have to be ready for it. And maybe you're not really running so much as preparing to really connect?

As long as you're honest with him, then you might not have to go through the runners tragedy. I did love Steve Gunn's article and it made a lot of sense.

posted January 07, 2009 06:32 AM         

I would love some more input from the runners point of view, since I can relate to the "stayer" side.. like, how did you feel when you first met? what happened after that? when did you start to run?

I can describe a few things in my case that I felt was significant and unique for this kind of karmic relation.

- First time I laid my eyes on him I fell for him (this never happens to me, I'm usually very slow). Strong magnetic pull!!!

- Synchronicity. The meeting was surrounded by a lot of strong intuition (for me) and a feeling of "meant to be", a feeling of destiny for us to meet. And I "knew" beforehand a lot of things that would happen between us.

- While watching him the first time we met, strange thoughts ran through my head, like "if I could be close to him it would feel like coming home". I remember I thought it was strange that I was thinking "home" when I saw him, of course I was attracted physically also but "home" isn't usually the first word you come to think of when meeting a new person, right? And I "knew" that we would be a perfect match when it comes to kissing and such.. I was ofcourse right

- Trust. I felt right away that I trusted him, in every possible way. I didn't know him then, and I still don't know much about him but I feel that I trust him even though some things logically could be questioned.

- Love. It always takes me like at LEAST a few months before I feel like I really LOVE someone. With this guy it took me like one or two weeks before the thought popped into my head - or maybe it was there from the beginning. I suddenly thought "I love him".. it was like.. wow, I do?? yeah you do (the heart replied).. kind of cool.

- Brain vs Heart. My brain is telling me (now that he turned out to be a runner) that I shouldn't continue waiting, that he's not serious with me. My heart and my gut feeling knows that I just have to have patience and that he feels more than he can possibly show me. I just know. My friends don't know what to believe, they all have different opinions on him.. Everyone is confused

posted January 07, 2009 01:48 PM         

Being a runner is not easy nor is it fun for me to turn away from the person I love but in my head I know I have to because right now is not the right time to try and establish anything and I told him that but I'll always have that "something" for him and it's a good thing he's understanding also and we can remain good friends.

Also when I first met him, it's like I just kinda knew we'd come together, were so similar in ways. That we have the same quirks like talking with our hands, ticklish ribs, talking very loud even though we know we should be whispering, just stuff like that. It was creepy at first because he just reminded me alot of myself only he's a guy lol. A part of me thought we might get bored of eachother because of the similarities but we both found out it's comforting to have someone who just "knows" and you can just be yourself like a real good friend.

Anyone dealing with runners, I think it's best to just move on from them I know it's hard because you really love that person but eventually you'll feel better and as for the runner they may "get it" one day or the may not, know one never really knows why one runs or when one will return. In my case I know there's something there, I just need to get myself together and be ready to embrace whatever there is between us.

posted January 10, 2009 02:11 PM         

What to do about it: Live in the present moment!!! If you start to get anxious, overthink things, and plan your future, just take four deep breaths and return to the present moment. It's the only place reality exists. Pretend you are going to get hit by a bus tomorrow, and just enjoy every moment of the Cap's company. If you catch yourself trying to fix all the details or make a big Plan, just let go of that again.

posted January 10, 2009 02:16 PM         

With all the fairy tales floating around--fairy tales written at a time when marriage was an important economic relationship--we get the idea that we have to be "ready" and complete and perfect BEFORE we start a relationship. That's bunk. Early relationships are a great way to learn to be flexible, courageous, and honest. They are a good learning experience and also exciting and fun, and some of the best relationships and soul-mate-feeling connections don't last forever, just like life doesn't last forever. They are still very valuable.