Posts: 13
From:
Registered: Dec 2008

posted January 08, 2009 07:24 PM         

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Hello Everyone!
I've been reading everyone's posts for a while I just haven't really posted any of my own. As far as the Cancer trouble I know many of you are thinking what's NEW! Anyways here it goes:
We've been hanging out with each other when time permits. He's incredibly sweet, cuddly and attentive. Which is why even though I didn't want to I told "him I liked him (via email). He said he didn't want a relationship and I said "whoa buddy I didn't say I wanted a relationship I just said I like you". He came back into town and got in contact with me through email and said he wanted to know if I wanted to get a drink and I said yes. He brought me a present. He told me he liked me and We hung out for 3 separate occasions and he was just so sweet and he asks me all kinds of questions. I'm going to Graduate school soon and he even asked me if I had thought about the school that's located where he lives. He doesn't send me any emails , texts or calls. Is he just toying with me. I like him but I don't understand the round about way I'm so straight forward. I don't know I guess I'm just curious if this is something I should just shrug off or not.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

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Posts: 705
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted January 09, 2009 03:08 AM         

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Two things stand out here.
First he said he didn't want a relationship and then you have said that he never texts, calls e mails or phones. So by this I gather that it is you who does all of the contacting?
Do you have a sexual relationship?
If you are just friends that hang out then he probably just isn't ready for a relationship, what with you going off to college and all.
But if you are having a sexual relationship and he doesn't text etc. then to your question
"Is he toying with me?
I sadly would have to answer Yes.

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Posts: 93
From: Planet Earth
Registered: Dec 2008

posted January 09, 2009 05:39 AM         

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Ask him any doubts you have and look in his eyes at that moment, you will know what you want to .................

eye can't lie....

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Posts: 13
From:
Registered: Dec 2008

posted January 09, 2009 12:18 PM         

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Well thats the thing it seems like I am just a toy but then again maybe he is the toy.He contacted me just as much as I contacted him because I'm not one to become a subject to a man's beck and call. Either way I'm not going to invest anything other than curiosity into the situation. We knew each other in high school and had some very good conversations when others were drinking and goofing off. 10yrs later we met again (I'm 26) in a very odd way. Turns out we both kind have followed the same paths i.e. I moved out west so did he both in the same place at the same time (states), lived on the same area growing up and it just keeps going. I feel a little confused but I guess I've answered my own question in that retrospect "if it is meant to be it will happen". Thank you for the advice.

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Posts: 705
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted January 09, 2009 12:47 PM         

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I think it just boils down to the way us women are.
We like to know where a relationship is headed whereas men tend to live by the "If it ain't broke don't fix it" creed!
If you feel happy with the way things are that's fine, but if it begins to cause you anxiety then you sound like the kind of gal who can straight talk when it's needed!

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Posts: 13
From:
Registered: Dec 2008

posted January 09, 2009 01:52 PM         

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Yep I think you just hit the nail on the head!

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Posts: 705
From: U.K
Registered: Mar 2007

posted January 09, 2009 03:37 PM         

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Do you ever get the feeling it might have been a woman who invented the wheel?
Men move things along?
I don't think so!

HOMO SAPIEN (male)
"What do we need that round thing for? I'll just keep dragging stuff along the ground like always. Works for me"

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Posts: 13
From:
Registered: Dec 2008

posted January 10, 2009 03:31 AM         

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Ha-ha and it couldn't be more true!! The funny thing is.........Women secretly rule the word but we are proud enough to give them credit.

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Posts: 618
From:
Registered: Feb 2007

posted January 10, 2009 02:01 PM         

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Here's what I think, from my very limited perspective as a stranger on the internet:
1) He likes you, but is confused, immature,not ready for a relationship (he even SAID so), and kind of screwed up.
2)You are a cool, straightforward person who's not afraid to let someone know you like them. You would be better matched with a more mature guy right now. Not someone who's overserious or unfun--but just a guy who, when you say, "I like you", is ready to just say, "Cool! I like you too," without getting all weird about it and needing explanations and needing to put it all in categories and being grateful when you oblige. Your cancer is a coward.
3. Long-distance things are the WORST. You can't really explore things between the two of you without lots of real, in-person time together.

Any two people hanging out intimately are having a relationship...there are literally tens of thousands of different kinds of relationships. What he means is that he does not want to see how things unfold between you, he does not want to get close, and he does not want to be monogamous...and he's decided all those things without spending much time together.

I don't think he's toying with you, at least not on purpose. I just think this is the best he can do, the closest he can get to a "relationship" with someone. It's a pity, but you are likely to be a real man magnet in grad school. It's worth keeping your options open!

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Posts: 13
From:
Registered: Dec 2008

posted January 10, 2009 04:09 PM         

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Thank you so much for your insight. I'm just too mature to go into a what ever kind of "relationship" this is. I have so much to offer and it seems that he's broken. I think he's still stuck on an ex and that's NOT my baggage. I just got out of a 4yr ( Lived together pretty much married) relationship about 4 months ago and I'm incredibly happy with my decision ( breaking up with my EX one of the most difficult decision of my life). It was nice to have a little fun. I'm sure I'll find plenty of fine young eligible bachelors in Grad. School. The next time he sends and email I'm not going to reply or I'll just say "sorry I'm busy today until forever."

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Posts: 2829
From:
Registered: Dec 2004

posted January 14, 2009 09:07 AM         

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Btw ,what does this until forever means ?

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Posts: 13
From:
Registered: Dec 2008

posted January 16, 2009 04:55 PM         

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I guess what I was trying to say is that my response would be I'm busy now and in the future so maybe it's best that we don't see each other again. ya know, save the heart ache.

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Posts: 2433
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008

posted January 18, 2009 06:22 PM         

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Knowing Cancerian males very very well....(I usually adore them! But I am a Scorpio...)
However....not everyone can enjoy them as is...
My opinion...let it go...it does not look very promising for you to be with him....unless you and he want to keep it Platonic.

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Posts: 2433
From: Still out looking for Schrödinger's cat.........& LEXIGRAMMING... is my Passion!
Registered: Jan 2008

posted January 18, 2009 06:33 PM         

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BTW Libra/scorp*cusp

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Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.

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