posted March 24, 2009 11:47 PM         

I fell for someone.

He is not my caliber type of person and I don't really see how we could be together for a long time, but I want to show him that he can be loved. He has never been loved, never kissed, never made love to. He is a beautiful person, but he has suffered so much pain and abuse that he doesn't believe in love. Another important thing is, he is 8 years younger (21). And also he suffered head injury as a child that made him lose some physical sensitivity. This also affected his body temperature regulation, as he is always cold. I'm tempted to warm his heart and his body with mine.

I want to throw my pride and expectations out the window, and give him all the warmth and love I can possibly give. I'm not sure I want anything in return... except physical pleasure, his tenderness, and emotional connection...

I already see many red flags here. I just want to show him love, and that's it. I will most likely let him know that it won't go beyond "lovers", beforehand.

posted March 25, 2009 06:55 AM         

quote:

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I'm not sure I want anything in return... except physical pleasure, his tenderness, and emotional connection

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That's wanting everything then.....

Would you post your chart?

This sounds a bit Neptunian to me and I would like to know the placements and aspects of Neptune in your chart. You already have a Neptunian Venus.

It sounds from your post like you are looking for someone to save, and by saving someone redeeming something in yourself, to make yourself feel better.

Please don't take this the wrong way because I have experienced similar feelings myself towards someone who I just wanted to love because they were terribly abused and were suffering. However, I didn't get what I needed in the end, which was to be loved in return, in a balanced, stable and mutually beneficial and receptive relationship. He wasn't capable of it and my motives were wrong. It almost verged on pity, I hate to say (my Neptune conjuncts Venus and opposes Moon, by way of explanation). It is OK to have compassion for someone's plight but putting yourself in their mix might not be the best path.

I do understand what you mean though. I don't think it's "stupid", necessarily, but be mindful of your motives. What if he became too much to handle? You could be hurt. He could be more hurt. I see that you want to make life more beautiful for him but getting involved with somebody like him, as lovely as he is might not be easy. He may need to work these things out for himself. A partnership might not be the thing he needs right now. You have said that he is "not your caliber type of person". Do you mean that you are aware of the fact that he might not be up to the job of loving you the way you deserve to be loved? Setting limitations on how far you are willing to be involved with him might not be fair to him or to yourself. Ultimately getting involved in this is his choice too. Be mindful that you are not able to always "manage" people in the way you imagine you can, once you are in the thick of it. The man that I loved was bi-polar and I really think we ought to have stayed just friends. I think I would still be friends with him now. As it is I haven't seen him for 15 years and it's not possible to turn back the clock. This man has confided in you, which is great. Is it love you're feeling? Or just a tremendous surge of wanting to be there for someone so much that it feels like love.

I'm not denying you your feelings, but I thought I should ask if you've examined them properly before you take such a leap.

posted March 25, 2009 11:55 AM         

Heart cakes - bascially you're saying that as long as it is alright with him, then there should be nothing to worry about?

Wheelsofcheese - I really really appreciate what you wrote and your caring. But I'm just tired of being afraid to enter a relationship because others say it's "bad" or "wrong" or "not proper". There is a part of me that wants to do what my heart tells me and throw caution to the wind. I have never done that, and am I happy? No. I'm an Aquarius and we study people carefully. I've been talking to him daily about his expectations and what he is looking for, as well as to get the whole picture of him. We have very honest, straightforward conversations. And I know that he would give me the love I need. I'm also 100% sure we would grow to love one another deeply. We both have had traumatic childhoods and I've always dreamt of being with someone who understood my pain. The thought of lying naked in bed, holding on to each other, and sharing deepest secrets of the heart, is something my soul yearns for (as well as his, I know!)

What I mean by "not my caliber" - is he is not someone I would introduce to my family or spend the rest of my life with. His interests are different, for example he doesn't like to read much. He plays video games a lot, and as much as I love games, I'm thinking "with all this time you should at least be volunteering." I already see this will be a huge problem for me. But since the rapport and emotional connection is there, and we both have something to offer one another, why not take the leap? I mean, life is so short. Some might disapprove the idea of "lover", but I've always repressed this desire and now I can't any longer. I'm not talking about promiscuity though. I would still be loyal to him. But I would enter the relationship knowing that it can't be more than lovers, and I'll tell him that.

I'll read your responses once more when I don't feel so upset. lol

My chart is:

posted March 25, 2009 12:49 PM         

No I'm serious, if you like this man and his soul speaks to yours then go for it.

posted March 25, 2009 03:59 PM         

You are such a wonderful soul! Just had to tell ya..

Aqua,

Follow your heart. As an aqua sun, I'm sure you have analyzed this in every possible way, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut. Also, do not fear the pain that may come, pain is part of life and one of the biggest learning and growing tools we can get from our experiences; the other being love.

So I say go for it, you will see where it leads once you have taken the first step...

posted April 13, 2009 09:03 PM         

Who says you have to decide on "what to be" right now anyway ("relationship-wise")? Do you have to put a label on what it is that you and he will be involved in? Just live each day as it comes. See what happens. At this stage of it, don't make any plans -- just live and love and learn....

posted April 15, 2009 11:49 PM         

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!