posted June 27, 2009 03:56 PM            

I had a very intense, psychically damaging and life changing relationship with a man whose Eros was directly conjunct my Lilith, and also more loosely conjunct my Neptune & Descendant. Things were so passionate that we were bankrupting ourselves on planet tickets, so after a whirlwind 4 month courtship I quit my job and moved in with him- on the other side of the country. I've never had a more natural and effortless sexual connection to someone in my life, and it blinded me to a lot of things. As long as we kept connecting the way we had been sexually, I was willing to "fight" for what I thought we had and felt I could withstand anything. It wasn't until he began to withhold sex from me that I finally crumbled.

I haven't been able to find much discussion about this connection and I'm really interested in hearing stories from other people who've experienced it.

I had this excerpt saved from somewhere on the internet, but don't have the original source. If you know, let me know!

“…We all have Lilith’s plutonic quality in us, the unconscious energy that brings up harsh boundaries between life and death, ecstasy and suffering, passion and revulsion, enslavement and freedom. How do we honor Lilith in our lives? Do we exile her from consciousness or build her a sanctuary for potent, creative expression? When she contacts Eros in another, the answer to that question is found in the heart of a powerfully erotic relationship.

Eros wants intense encounters that lead to lasting transformation. His touch is all at once sexual, creative and spiritual. Lilith brings up deep and primal sexual energy sometimes accompanied by feelings of anger and rage. She is deeply alluring and irresistible. Eros is looking for his equal to explore the realm of creative intimacy. Lilith desires sacred sex above all things.

In the rare instance where these two do meet, the results are truly awe inspiring, changing our lives in intense and lasting ways. How we respond to this synastry contact has a lot to do with our own relationship to power and sexuality. It "wakes up” those areas inside of us and causes us to express them sexually, free from the restrictions of reality.

Since both Eros and Lilith are isolated energies buried deep in the unconcious, the erotic transformation which takes place upon their meeting is deep with raw and intuitive spiritual potency. Their capacity for intimacy and shared desire to melt into the fires of transformation is nothing short of total risk, which each are compelled to take- no questions asked. As a result, this aspect can feel like opening a can of worms that literally fly, not crawl, out of the unconscious.

posted June 28, 2009 11:19 PM            

Maybe you felt this way sometimes given your Lilith-Eros contacts, but I was certainly the one more outwardly angry when the mess finally hit the fan. I had waaaaay more rage than he did (granted, there were reasons for that) and said things so hurtful that I wince now when I think about them. I'm not typically the "make him suffer" type, but holy wow did it all come rushing out with him. It makes sense when you consider how deeply Lilith desires to eat/destroy her loves mythologically.

What I've read about Lilith makes it seem to me that she's sort of like the Feminine's Pluto with lots of primal sexual urges thrown in, so I'm sure she rooted herself comfortably into your already heavily Plutonic relationships. Drawing that authoritarian feminine energy into the already present power themes must have been really overwhelming, just flooding in from every corner. Considering the sexual aspect of it all, though, I'm betting the pay off was satisfying at least, haha.