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Author
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Topic: How do you encourage someone to open their heart...
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SunChild
Moderator Posts: 247
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 05, 2009 10:18 AM
 
... to spirituality?And rekindle that passion they once had 2 decades ago. When they embarked on a journey into spiritual dimensions of life as they matured into an adult, had wonderful sublime experiences, shown glimpses of amazing serendipity and love and then only to be let down by a charlatan group who stole their dreams and love of the spiritual , only to let that person down to walk away bitter and twisted. The money grabbing luciferian cult type who talked the talk, only to leave this person feeling like an idiot and gullible and who's heart has since closed for a good twenty years to the idea there is something more than this matrix. How do you show them that? - This experience they had was something more meaningful, and yes, they were deceived but what surrounded their passion for searching for the truth does not need to be given up on. They can continue to search but with more knowledge and caution than before, armed with experience now. It's all for a purpose. It seems this person has been wounded and can't see life before or after that. It's an existential dilemma, this person has since suffered anxiety, depression and dependence on substances and people. It's like they have chosen to shut off- no matter what I do to spark that desire for knowledge, and higher consciousness it is always a fight- and fighting does not inspire. It's discourages even more. How can I help this person. Can I offer them a book they wont laugh at? Can I show them a talk on youtube they wont scoff at? Can I talk to them from my heart without being given a lecture on the isnus business? I don't know what to do for this person any more. Life could be special, positive, amazing, loving, fun and spiritual for him.  IP: Logged |
aerialcircus
Knowflake Posts: 113
From: Western Massachusetts, US
Registered: May 2009
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posted July 05, 2009 10:30 AM
SunChild, what a tragic situation. My heart aches for your friend, truly. I don't know if this will help, but this David Foster Wallace quote seems to really inspire the damaged skeptics I know. quote:
“Because here’s something else that’s true. In the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshiping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And an outstanding reason for choosing some sort of God or spiritual-type thing to worship — be it J.C. or Allah, be it Yahweh or the Wiccan mother-goddess or the Four Noble Truths or some infrangible set of ethical principles — is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things — if they are where you tap real meaning in life — then you will never have enough. Never feel you have enough. It’s the truth. Worship your own body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly, and when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally plant you. On one level, we all know this stuff already — it’s been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, bromides, epigrams, parables: the skeleton of every great story. The trick is keeping the truth up-front in daily consciousness. Worship power — you will feel weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to keep the fear at bay. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart — you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. And so on.”
IP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 247
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 08, 2009 06:44 AM
  So true, and reminds me of motherly sage advice- the types of wisdom my mum would give me. Thanks you for this quote- I might just print it out and leave it somewhere by "accident". IP: Logged |
Yin
Knowflake Posts: 333
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 08, 2009 09:02 AM
SunChild,
It takes a long time to pull somebody out of a spiritual "coma" like that. In the end it doesn't really matter what you say to them. It is all about giving support, love, compassion, kindness at the right time. Be proactive, show them things, talk to them, comfort them... but also Just Be There When The Need You.
You are a very noble soul to want to do that for your friend.
Love ,
YinIP: Logged |
SunChild
Moderator Posts: 247
From: Melbourne. Victoria. Australia
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 08, 2009 09:39 AM
Yin I have known them for 8 years, I'm in it for the long haul.  IP: Logged |
pire
Knowflake Posts: 297
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 08, 2009 02:51 PM
can you talk more to us about him? or would you feel like violating him? what would he think if we talked about him here?because if he say that he doesn't mind, then you can tell us more of him. his precise experience, his actual state... i read your post but it's impossible to generalise and say: tell him this or that. need more infos. IP: Logged |
Lara
Knowflake Posts: 1029
From: aspideronmars
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 08, 2009 05:29 PM
so sad Sun Child.The best way i find to help another is to be everything that they can aspire to... they will see it and want some  IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 659
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 02:20 AM
Maybe just accept and love them for who they are. His heart might seem closed or there is a wall up because he senses you don't accept him for who he is, as is. There's no way around "spirituality" as we are all spiritual beings. I had a similar problem with an ex years ago and I wished he was more "spiritual" and interested in reading the same books as me etc. The more i tried, the more he resisted. Then later I realized that's not what it's all about. I wasted too much time trying to make him more like me when he was perfect just the way he was. I left the relationship because we grew apart, but looking back, i wish i just enjoyed our experience in the moment more and accepted him for who he was. No more or less than me. Lately i feel like i've grown out of the old "spirituality" i used to be into and dont feel an urge to read about it or watch videos etc. The thought of it has become distasteful and i'm happy to just be and live in the world around other people and smile at them. True spirituality is easy to live by being kind. I dont know, it's hard to explain, but i've let go of trying to open others up to things and instead just talk to them, listen and empathize with the human condition, the mundane. The struggles and joys we all go through. We each take our journeys by ourselves and only when one is ready for something, will they accept and hear it. They may never be ready for what you are, but that's okay too. I've met some really beautiful kindhearted people who know nothing about "spirituality" and don't care to. Some of these people are in better shape than the so-called spiritual people i know. It's like the years of study have been internalized enough and certain things i've let go of, like trying to change others or open them up to things and now i'm just living it. It's freeing. Hope that helps. Interesting subject. Hope your situation resolves itself. IP: Logged |
T
Knowflake Posts: 659
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted July 11, 2009 02:38 AM
in my situation, i realized the problem wasnt that he needed to become more spiritual; it was that i needed to learn about not turning him into something he was not ready for or open to. that he was another child of god and i needed to learn a few things. our problems with others are often learning experiences waiting for us.You cant change him, but you can love him. & love works wonders. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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