posted July 25, 2009 01:09 AM         

Although, I don't think I'd be asking for a committment with only a month of seeing someone. I'd let things happen gradually, organically. I don't know your ages, but unless you are very mature in age and experience, you may need more than a month to find out if you two are even compatible. And compatibility doesn't just mean romantically... but states of mind as well.

posted July 25, 2009 08:22 PM         

it sounds a bit too strategic to me.

I mean I see your concern about law school. That is an issue. It is very important. I don't know how to handle that.

posted July 25, 2009 09:56 PM         

i don't think it makes you look like a pushover. i can't read his thoughts, of course, but him knowing you want a commitment probably won't change his feelings of respect toward you, even if he does not want one right now. i understand that it hurts to feel rejected in that way though. he knows how you feel but if he isn't ready now, he obviously still needs time to get to that point, if he will, so i would just proceed as normal, if i were you and concentrate on the here and now with him and enjoying yourself. my guess is that if he feels pressured, he'll feel less inclined to commit and may start backing away, just cuz that's the way things tend to happen, not because he doesn't feel for you.

commitment is just a word. i mean, you're exclusive and spend your time together as if you were, right? what difference does a word make? i've wrestled with this one a lot and am FINALLY free of a word i consider to be illusory. commitments are chosen moment to moment.

posted August 07, 2009 04:27 PM         

He used to play hot and cold with me and got close to me when he felt like it, he and definitley didn't want commitment.

Dont wait for him, if he wants to be with you then let him come to you, dont chase him.

posted September 08, 2009 08:20 PM         

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But.....his words kill me. I even asked him what he felt for me. He was not able to answer.

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The thing that really strikes me in his chart is that Mars-Venus conjunction in LEO in the 7th house. I know that Virgo has a rep as the "eternal bachelor", but this guy? I really feel that with that Mars and Venus, when he's madly in love he knows it.

Double-Virgo or not, he's got Venus in Leo. This is the kind of thing a Venus in Leo says when he's keeping a stand-in relationship at arm's length.

One of two things seems to be happening. Either he is not madly in love with you, and is therefore keeping the relationship more distant till his feelings change or he meets someone he's crazy about...OR (and I see this as a real possibility, given that you are exclusive) he finds your desperation to use him for stability highly taxing and stressful as he tries to get his own life in order. And so he is really pulling away from you for that reason.

The whole thing where you don't have relatives around and you're too on your own, etc etc, and you want him to love you and call you his girlfriend for a sense of stability? A HUGE cold shower for a Cap rising, double-Virgo guy who is trying to make his life stable and successful...he would be wanting just the OPPOSITE of that...someome very secure and independent. Your 7th house Saturn widely conjunct his Jupiter and Uranus could play out as a wet-blanket, heavy, anxiety-creating energy for him...unless you had already had your 1st Saturn return and found real power and independence.

quote:

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Hi, Hikoro. He said to you if he was ready to commit, you would be a POTENTIAL girlfriend?!
How insulting. Ditch, ditch, ditch...

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I know this is probably a really, really un-fun time and I'm sorry...it sounds pretty hurtful/embarrassing and we have all been there. But I have to agree. He sounds like the wrong guy. The thing to do would be to stop seeing him, and let him know that you are open to dating again if he ever wants something serious and you are still available and interested.

Some of what he's said is insulting and hurtful, but at least he's being honest with you and letting you know what he wants right now, instead of pretending.

posted October 01, 2009 02:25 PM         

Well I see of his Saturn conjucting your Sun. Your Moon signs are positive together. Your Mars signs in opposition aren't that impossible if your Venus signs agree. Your Jupiters in Pisces respective Sag has very easy going streak on. Well, well but his not the right guy for you.