Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 04, 2009 03:56 PM         

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do aries men play games when it comes to matters of the heart? i ask this question because i am going thru something with my s.o. of 5 yrs. and i feel like i am going to blow the roof off my house because i am so upset with him right now. i thought that we were so beyond all this but i feel like there is a lack of maturity and consideration going on. (i know, i know....typical aries behavior). but geesh! i want off this roller coaster ride but my heart wont let me.

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Posts: 1755
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 04, 2009 04:53 PM         

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Well,in my very limited experience (one Aries) they will try to make you jealous and manipulate you with guilt.

But that was just my experience.

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Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 04, 2009 05:50 PM         

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i know its manipulation at its best. but what i want to know is how does someone go from being your girlfriend with prospects of marriage on the horizon to being downgraded to friend and booty call. this coming from someone who says they love me and want make things work because we have history. its been 5 years, 6 yrs in march. i know i'm not perfect but i've apologized profusely but neither is he. this may be his way of trying to take it slow and see how it plays out but you dont speak upon it, you just do it. i never expected it to go back to the way it was. that takes time to rebuild.

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Posts: 1755
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 04, 2009 09:22 PM         

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hmmm, I see how this would be difficult for a Cap, you probably value the stability of what you were heading towards, the idea, and now he's got you spinning.

I'm trying to think (I am Aries rising) of why I would downgrade a person from significant other to booty call.
I would think I would do it if I was mad?
If the person did something to hurt me, and I wanted to punish them? I mean, I don't know your situation. Does he still say he loves you, or is it just booty calls now?

Now this may be the difference between men and women, but if I was that mad, I wouldn't want to sleep with the person either, I would just want them gone.

so maybe it is that he's punishing you for something, and this is his way to make you feel less then....you know? Like your good enough to sleep with, but thats it.
Still I think it is a ruse, he probably still loves you, but it is up to you whether you want to deal with that kind of emotional blackmail.

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Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 05, 2009 12:43 AM         

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yes he still tells me that he loves me. i saw him on saturday after a 4 month hiatus so we spend some time apart. yeah i hurt him bad, i know. i messed up. but to ad lib what he said that night- we've been together over 5 years, we have history and we need to work out the problems that have together. i love you, i think about you all the time and i miss you when you're not around. i'm not gonna go anywhere. i sent him a text last night and said that i'm not ready to give up. he then calls me and we hash out a few issues (no arguing). he says that we need to speak face to face, somewhere quiet and secluded. he promised me that he would call me the next day so we could get together. so this morning, i got a text saying that he doesnt want a relationship right now, he's good. mind you, i know that we cant pick up where we left off, thats unrealistic. but we can work on it. he then texts and says that we're friends, dont hate,just be realistic and we can still hang out. i said that i dont appreciate being downgraded and he says then stop texting me. this man has always been affectionate and very loving towards me, always telling me he loves me, yada,yada. now this? thats cold.

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Posts: 1755
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 05, 2009 02:49 AM         

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I don't know Cappy, Aries are very prideful, maybe he's just having some doubts, or doing that thing we females hate, you know, getting advice from their friends.
Either way, I would give a little space to let him sort his feelings. Figure out what is real and what is coming from ego. You know? Plus they have a fiery temper and miscommunications with them seem par for the course, cause that ego thing is always semmingly present.
Can you just give a week or two without calling and see if he comes to you?
I know it is torture, but find a hobby, spend time outdoors, cook something you've never made, go to the library, drink a bottle of wine and play scrabble with your friends. Something, anything.
He is an Aries, and therefore feels that he should be the initiator, the agressor, and the maker of decisions, lol.
So if you love him, let him think that, and when he misses you, he'll swallow his pride.
That is my very humble opinion based on my limited experience and not knowing your full story. Hope it helps some.

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Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 05, 2009 03:36 AM         

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i totally agree with your points of view and i have explored those same ideas. i've stayed away for the last 4 months while he always kept in contact with my friends talking to them about me and even showing up at places knowing i would be there. i tried to make space and let him make his own mind up. he initiated contact and i went with it. i thought everything was fine. he's always been wishy washy which has never bothered me (cap sun, gemini moon, aquarius venus). i'm always busy. i just came back from jamaica after a week stay, i stay immersed in my studies, spend time with friends and i'm a clean freak. him on the other hand has always been lurking around somewhere in my life. he has cancer ascendant.
his 1 friend cant stand me because i feel like he's user and low life. he's been living on my s.o.'s couch for a yr rent free but while i have kept my mouth shut, he knows i dont like the situation due to his disrespect and lack of privacy. so i definitely agree that he may have put a bug in his ear about me.

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Posts: 1755
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 05, 2009 01:02 PM         

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Bing, Bang, Boom.
You just said the magic words, Cancer Asc!

The two loves of my life have this.
Guess where they are?
Still in my life.
It is very hard for a man like this to let go.
Neither one of mine have a fire Sun, but I can only imagine what that would be like!
wow, you have your work cut out for ya.
Taking 'care of people' is a very cancer-y thing, so maybe that is why he lets his friend stay there. He thinks the (friend) needs help, and your man is helping.
Now it is alot clearer, of course the sponge friend is bad mouthing you! You hold the key to his very precarious living situation. If you are your s.o. are like two peas in pod, where does that leave the sponge? See?
Wow, your in a pickle. seems like damned if you do, damned if ya dont.
Well, I will give you my standard Sag advice on this one.
Do you want him?
I mean really and truly?
If you do, go get him.
Leave no stone unturned and get him.
Swallow your pride if you have to. Use all your fem wiles, just whatever, and get him.
The sponger will fall away in time. Everyone gets sick of being used eventually, and users always find a back-up.

If you don't want to go to all that trouble, then just....don't.

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Posts: 91
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 05, 2009 02:40 PM         

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cappy1277, no sign can justify downgrading you to a bootycall, that's unacceptable.
My boyfriend is a double aries and I can't think of any reason why he would Ever do that, unless I cheated of course...but even so, he wouldn't even want to sleep with me probably. He had a girlfriend of three years and stuck with her, but she eventually cheated on him and he stopped talking to her right then...He still had feelings for her until he met me, but he was Very hurt.

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Posts: 442
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 05, 2009 03:31 PM         

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maybe you should just take what he says at face value:

1) he still loves you

2) he wants to be your friend

factoring in the 'booty call', i would guess that maybe he just needs space and time to deal with his feelings but he still desires you, and wants the two of you to work through your stuff, but with the freshness of friendship (rather than the complication of expectations). this is just me being devil's advocate. there's a chance he is using you and stringing you along, which sucks. but it seems pretty obvious he's confused. i like gypsee's advice: if you love him, then this process is worth the time it will take. maybe he wants to be sure you love him and this is his way of testing you (maybe unconsciously). stay strong.

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Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 05, 2009 03:32 PM         

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that cancer rising is what messes him up. doesnt know his head from his butt? lol....but seriously, i hate these games! i know astrology and while our synastry looks rocky, we have some very binding jupiter,saturn and neptune aspects not to mention that most of my planets are in his 7th house as well as mine. i know he's not going anywhere. he may be obsessed with me for all i know. (my venus in his 8th house). north node conjuncts my midheaven exactly among many other things. he also has a sag moon with a taurus venus so conflict with committments? i fought long and hard enough, i've put myself out there like an a** but i didnt care. i want my man! He needs more time away from me. 4 months is not long enough. the friend situation i have no control over. eventually it will play itself out and i think its gonna be ugly. he already resents him. his friend is such a dark individual, spiritually. he has such a negativs energy.

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Posts: 442
From:
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posted September 05, 2009 03:36 PM         

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yeah those placements do make for a lot of contradictory feelings. especially cancer rising vs. sag moon.

well i still think he probably needs time! especially since he's dealing with that oaf on his couch.

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Posts: 442
From:
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posted September 05, 2009 03:38 PM         

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yeah those placements do make for a lot of contradictory feelings. especially cancer rising vs. sag moon.

well i still think he probably needs time! especially since he's dealing with that oaf on his couch.

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Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 05, 2009 04:04 PM         

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i tried to take his words at face value and it probably is because he wants to take it slow and build it back up again. we cant go back to the way it was but we can take our time. maybe its because he actually said it, it put me off, him telling me he didnt want a relationship. wth?! its not that easy to take away the expectations but i can fake it. i felt used and cheap. real disrespected like i couldnt live without him and i needed hjm because i did feed his ego and created this monster. time will always tell. he's proven that he cant stay away but i dont have to stick around either. we're not getting younger.

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Posts: 1006
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted September 05, 2009 10:26 PM         

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frightening situation.

I possibly hurt an Aries Sun, Cancer AC, Cap Moon. I fear to think of the fires that I will go through for him to forgive me.

BUT~ I won't stick around when I have had enough! Fortunately, I don't have the years in a romantic relationship that you have with your man.

As for your situation, GypseeWind gave excellent advice. I can't top it.

Good Luck.

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Posts: 1755
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 08, 2009 08:12 AM         

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Ack! How did I miss that! Mine has the cancer Asc and Sag moon too!
Lord have mercy this man cannot make up his mind ever!
I think if I put him in a blender he would come out a Libra shake.
Yeah, I don't think your dude is goin anywhere. I haven't been able to shake mine so far.
I get the feeling that the combo of hurt pride and pain in the butt friend just has him in a weird funk.
Wait it out if you love him.
But if the booty call thing makes you feel bad about yourself, then dont do it.
He's probably gonna love you either way.
Maybe moreso if he can't get what he wants when he wants it.

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Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 08, 2009 09:14 AM         

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wow! a libra and all that? talk about indecisiveness and flighty. sag moon wants to run but the cancer rising makes them hold on. the are a big bag of confusion and contradiction.
yeah, i'm not too comfortable with the booty call thing. he wants to start over, i'm gonna make sure he does it right. that means he is gonna have to court me all over again and prove that he is worthy of my "stuff". lol...if what he wants is a challenge, he's got the right one. they say that a goat is the only one to wear down a ram.

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Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 08, 2009 09:14 AM         

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wow! a libra and all that? talk about indecisiveness and flighty. sag moon wants to run but the cancer rising makes them hold on. the are a big bag of confusion and contradiction.
yeah, i'm not too comfortable with the booty call thing. he wants to start over, i'm gonna make sure he does it right. that means he is gonna have to court me all over again and prove that he is worthy of my "stuff". lol...if what he wants is a challenge, he's got the right one. they say that a goat is the only one to wear down a ram.

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Posts: 1755
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 08, 2009 09:21 PM         

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I would say that is a fair statement.

Once a Cap decides they want ya, you might as well give in.

Even Linda wrote that in one of her books.

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Posts: 31
From: philadelphia,pa
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 10, 2009 11:57 AM         

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aries are so stubborn they would never admit to that but i am sooo surrounded by aries.best girlfriend, 2 kids, mom, dad and s.o. not to mention that alot of my close friends have aries planets. but we have alot of patience and usually can put up with the b.s. of an aries without going crazy. luckily for him because he would have tons of trouble if i was a fire sign. lol

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Posts: 5
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted October 22, 2009 09:39 PM         

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I have Aries sun and venus. I think that Aries are way too idealistic to see anyone as a "booty call." I personally don't even like to use that phrase. Are you sure you understand him correctly? I think Aries are only interested in TRUE LOVE. Sure, we make lots of mistakes in our quest for that ideal, but....

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Posts: 199
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 22, 2009 11:35 PM         

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I'm an Aries ~ I don't like games, and I don't the idea of being someone's booty call. My browser's going to freeze up again, I'll read more of this later.

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Posts: 1627
From: acousticgod@sbcglobal.net
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 22, 2009 11:49 PM         

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Sunsetgirl, you need to meet an older Aries male who's cheated on his wife. I think it'll change your mind. The one I knew suggested that younger women shouldn't dress provocatively around him as if to imply that he knew his own allure and that he may not be able to help himself.

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Posts: 789
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted October 23, 2009 12:57 PM         

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Aries men that I've known are totally into the booty call. They are very blunt about it, usually, and tell the person that's all they are. They are also into relationships, and will make it obvious if they want one with you.

I've also known aries women who are into the booty call. Aries are all about the chase. If you give it up too soon, you'll most likely be a booty call.

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Posts: 91
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 23, 2009 02:30 PM         

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Like Diana said, either he'll want a booty call or a relationship...when he wants a relationship it should be obvious with Arians. They aren't subtle with what they want...

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