Posts: 186
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 06, 2009 12:01 PM         

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That when a relationship ends with a man he has a hard time or can't be friends with you but has quite a few other ex girlfriends that he is friends with..The relationship did not end with alot of drama or harsh it wasn't really amicable but I was not happy with the set up..

I just figure if you feel this strongly about not being able to be freinds and the reason we broke up is because you couldn't/wouldn't step up to the plate, seems like you would do more or somethin to keep me in your life..I don't understand..

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Posts: 718
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted September 06, 2009 12:19 PM         

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quote:

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That when a relationship ends with a man he has a hard time or can't be friends with you but has quite a few other ex girlfriends that he is friends with..

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If he can't be friends with you, then surely he can't have exs fr friends too? It is a contradiction, unless the friendships develop over time and not immediately? Maybe he is still going through a case of hurt pride. Give him time if you want friendship from him that badly, but realistically, if he doesn't want to be your friend, then that should be fine with you, hurtful but fine.

I am never friends with my exs. Never. They always want to be friends, and become all chatty but I can't be bothered.

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Posts: 186
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 06, 2009 12:36 PM         

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I know for a fact that he has ex gf that he is friends with. Not sure how it started or whatever but I know that they are friends..I would like to be friends but I am not going to die if we are not friends..its not like that or anything. I am friends with a few of my ex's its not big thing I don't hold grudges or anything like that, its over, its over some ppl can be friends after a reationship and some ppl can't..In the past If I could not be a friend to an ex it was bc I still had feelings or something..I feel like had he ended the relationship then he could be my friend..Thats prolly why he is friends with his other ex's..

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Posts: 1343
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 06, 2009 04:44 PM         

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I'm friends with all my exes, even though some of them took time to get over whatever hard feelings there were. The only ex I'm not friendly with is my first husband, but even though I forgive him, it is kinda hard to wanna hang around someone that almost broke your jaw.
But in my opinion if he can't be friends with you, it is probably because he still has unresolved feelings, and trying to be 'just friends' is too confusing and difficult. But if it is his norm to be friends with exes, then he will probably come around in time.

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Posts: 1078
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 06, 2009 07:39 PM         

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Some ex-relationships are waaay more complicated than others. If you're the one who wants to be just friends, and he doesn't, don't worry about it. He may have very different feelings for you than for his exes he CAN be friends with. Just let him go!

Unless you want him back romantically, which is a whole other problem.

If not, I think it's not nice to pressure an ex who may have unresolved feelings for you to be a platonic friend. (By "unresolved", I don't mean that he necessarily has lingering romantic feelings, though he might. He could feel still in love, still in lust but not in love, tired of your relationship and wanting lots of space, bitter, awkward, sad and feeling longing but knows it's time to move on...there are so many possibilities.) Each relationship is unique. His connection with other exes might not be similar to his connection with you.

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Posts: 186
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 06, 2009 08:28 PM         

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Thanks for the responces, and honestly I don't think that he can be friends right now because he still has feelings for me..
And he is kind of controlling and he does not have any control with just being friends. There will never be any pressure I don't do that nor do I need to..I still have feelings for him as well, and just want a part of him to remain with me in my life, but if its to hard for him I totally understand..We have alot of history and well I am sure if and when he decides he can be friends then he will come around. I can be friends with all my ex's, its not a big deal for me..

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