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Author Topic:   What is love really?
lian3688
Knowflake

Posts: 56
From: The Orient
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 08, 2009 04:55 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lian3688     Edit/Delete Message
What is love to you? How to seperate it from attraction? Or infatuation?

As a cappy i fell for a cancer since our second meeting. I let go of him because of his nomadic life and met another cappy. A completely different type of relationship.

A sensitive person told me, i was not "in love" with either of them. This statement confused me, because i believe i am.
What is love really?

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cpn_edgar_winner
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Posts: 1392
From: Toledo, OH
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 08, 2009 05:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cpn_edgar_winner     Edit/Delete Message
for one thing, no one else can tell you how you feel.

some say love is an emotion, some say a choice.

i say our hearts are huge, and can love many people, even at the same time.

infatuation, attraction, obsession even, who can say what it really is and if it involves love. people are complex. emotions drive behaviors.

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Unmoved
Moderator

Posts: 824
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted September 08, 2009 06:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
Love is Life is Truth is Eternal is Freedom is... is... is...

It is everything and nothing at the same time. Harmonious and contradictory. It is the Divine Dichotomy calling us to see the true nature of what is.

Love is the biggest, vastest entity we can ever imagine to know. And, I agree with cpn's definition too because it is still part of the Alpha and the Omega, which encompasses all that is, including "little things such as crushes, and "bad" things such as obsessions. Everything is an expression of love, even those things that humans have deemed to be "not love" or the "opposite of love". There is no opposite of love or anything outside it. All there is, is LOVE.

*sigh*

I just fell in love again as I appreciate the beauty of it, for just that one second.

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GypseeWind
Knowflake

Posts: 1512
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 08, 2009 07:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
I think love is when you are able and willing to put anothers wants and needs above your own.

Easy for your children, and even family, harder when it comes to others.

But how many times did you go to a party or bridal shower or some such event that you didn't want to? You went because you loved that person. (not saying if you did not go, you DON'T love them, there are always circumstances).

Love is very much in gestures. Anyone can say words.

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starkiss1
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Posts: 142
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 08, 2009 08:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
I sill don't know how to separate love from obsession, love is so multifaceted. I don't want to obsess about anybody anymore, so ...
Does it mean i am giving up love?
I think i am giving up people, actually, can't be bothered with them anymore.

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GypseeWind
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Posts: 1512
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted September 08, 2009 09:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
I'm so sorry to hear that Starkiss.

If you ever need to talk i'de be willing to listen.

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oneruledbymars
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Posts: 136
From: South Carolina
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 08, 2009 10:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for oneruledbymars     Edit/Delete Message
Lian,
Love is an energy. It is indeed multifaceted taking on many forms but exisiting ultimately as a calling card between the incarnatd souls of humans, pulling us through transformations, and dragging us through change. Life lessons are learned through love. The ultimate being the ability to love yourself, therefore completing the circle of seperation and rejoining with the energy from whence you came. That is why our lives are so deprived of love, unconditional love that is....there is always a reason.

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lian3688
Knowflake

Posts: 56
From: The Orient
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 09, 2009 08:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lian3688     Edit/Delete Message
CPN:
You reminds me of Michael Ball's Love Changes Everything
Some say... I say...(smiling)

Unmoved and Starkiss:
I think there is an opposite of love - fear
We all prone of obsession at one time or another. Obsession rooted from selfish-love because we fear we lose love.
What do you do to get over with your obsession?

Gypsee:
I want to give you a hug for your kind word and offer on my other thread. Your feeling is (now partly) right. He contacted me again asking help with translation work so we become friends.
You are talking about another kind of love here, Gypsee...

One:
How do you love yourself?

I believe that the seed of karma is there waiting for the right time and the right place and the right situation to come when two people meet and then, perhaps by the time their eyes meet, their souls recognise each other, hello, is it you again? One heart connects with the other and the emotion and energy between them give birth to an entity known as love. When they make love as an expression of love itself and not only as body union, they burn the bad karma from the past lives...

Sending (another kind of)love to you guys!

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Unmoved
Moderator

Posts: 824
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted September 09, 2009 09:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
lian3688~

quote:
I think there is an opposite of love - fear

Not the love I was talking about. Maybe it wasn't clear, but I wasn't talking about the emotion called love. I was talking about the Universe as a whole. It is something close to what oneruledbymars called an energy.

Energy is energy and it can be expressed in different forms, e.g. heat energy, light energy, emotions, matter, thought, and some energies are endothermic and exothermic energies, etc. So, what I call love is the "raw" energy that makes up all that we know to be our reality (and even that which we don't know). Fear(emotion) is as tangible an emotion as love, and although it seldom, if ever, exists in the same space as love (emotion), these two are basically the same energy, just directed in two different directions like two vectors of equal magnitude going in opposite directions; and because they are directed in opposing directions, they "reap" different results, but intrinsically, love and fear are one thing (on an energy level and not based on what results they reap)

I know the original post was probably speaking of emotional love, but I posted my view to show that there are all types of love, and none are greater or lesser because they all come from the same place. The problem may come though when an individual's expression of love is harmful to another, which is not fair- but in their world, unless they learn to see differently, most people see their way of expressing love as noble, even if it hurts another, as in the case of obsession.

When I expressed falling in love again, I meant that I just saw how beautiful the Universe was, for that split second as I was writing that post.

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lian3688
Knowflake

Posts: 56
From: The Orient
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 09, 2009 09:39 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lian3688     Edit/Delete Message
Unmoved:

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Unmoved
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Registered: May 2009

posted September 09, 2009 10:18 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Unmoved     Edit/Delete Message
lian3688~

The person who told you that you were not in love is a bit impatient. I say this because s/he might be right but only time will tell. S/he used his/her idea of what love is and imposed it upon you, and that's how they were able to say such a thing; otherwise s/he would have said something that made you explore your emotions further instead of being judgmental. But, since you're pretty sure that you're in love, that's all that matters.

About obsession:

Don't be hard on yourself. Obsession needs to be viewed as what it really is. It doesn't need to be romanticized or demonized. Obsession is just another emotion, natural or perverted as some may say it is. It is a charge, and like a battery it loses its energy after a while, if you do not keep recharging it. Also, like a battery, it loses energy faster if you use up the charge (energy).

So, don't be ashamed of your feeling.

A way to get rid of obsession is to: EXPRESS it, but to yourself and not to the object of your obsession. Express it in anyway, in all ways and just act as if it was alright to feel them. Write him a letter and don't send it. Write him a poem and don't send it. Speak to him (to yourself) or pretend he is on the phone. Paint, make music, dance or whatever way YOU express "love". When you think of him, think of him. Don't resist because it will persist.

BUT- do not stimulate these feelings with seeing him, smelling him(being in his vicinity), talking to him, etc. We don't want to feed the obsession, we want to drain it until it is no longer there. So, try to avoid him as much as you can. Just use what you have in your head to express your love, and don't add to the obsession by seeing pictures of him, or calling him.

Speak about him though, just as long as it doesn't irritate your friends.

You just need to let it out in whatever way you find is comfortable. And don't feel any shame for your activities. You are just letting go. You are purging the obsession, and it is usually not pretty or sane looking.

If you do what I say, you'll be bored with this feeling soon. this will mean that it has lost charge.

Good Luck!

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starkiss1
Knowflake

Posts: 142
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted September 10, 2009 01:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
Unmoved, you just spoke to my heart, girl. Wish to God i could speak to you when i was 'ill' with my obsession, now i am ok, i managed it as an 'illness', got it under control, but still squirming when i remember things i 'd done, OUCH. But it never occurred to me i had nothing to fear or be ashamed of. I still am! Thank you, The Wise One.

PS Never boiled a bunny, though.

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JustAmanda
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Posts: 35
From: Virginia
Registered: May 2009

posted September 17, 2009 12:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JustAmanda     Edit/Delete Message
Starkiss, I can so relate to you! I'm on the verge of just giving up too because, for me, it's too hurtful to be rejected again and again..ESPECIALLY when I KNOW I'm a decent person...I love with all my soul...yet no one seems to care about that anymore...all I find are losers.

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starkiss1
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Posts: 142
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posted September 18, 2009 11:22 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
Amanda,sorry to hear that. You are too young to feel like that. I don't know your age, but i am under impression that you are young! Am i right?

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JustAmanda
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Posts: 35
From: Virginia
Registered: May 2009

posted September 18, 2009 02:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for JustAmanda     Edit/Delete Message
Well, if you consider going on 39 to be young, then yes I'm young ha. I feel old though...however, I can't really think of an age I'd rather be...I'm very comfortable with who I am, spiritually, mentally, sexually...working on the physical part though because I've got some improvements I'm working on...but other than that I like myself. So what in the world is the matter that someone would not want to be with me?

Just makes me wanna go outside and kick a rock! LOL!

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starkiss1
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Posts: 142
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posted September 18, 2009 07:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for starkiss1     Edit/Delete Message
I like that! Go, girl!!!

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Taurean_Scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 79
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted September 19, 2009 02:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Taurean_Scorpion     Edit/Delete Message
Love is compromise, caring, passion, trust, and honesty between persons and a mutual agreement in all those aspects.

cpn_edgar_winner had a great answer. Love is an emotion and no one can tell you what you feel is not love...passion, obsession, infatuation, they're all related to Love. Go with your heart.

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