posted October 04, 2009 10:58 PM         

So I am starting to "date"--I'm not making myself use internet personals or anything that feels sooooo not-me as that--but when hot or interesting guys ask me out at a party or event, I am now saying "Yes." I never dated...I just fell in love at first sight and either fell into bed, or stayed with the guy for a zillion years, or both.

It still feels like not-me, but I noticed that the women I know who actually hook up with someone they really like/want/love at this age got "out there" and started dating some other guys first. Without dating, I was unconsciously sending out a "stay away" vibe...dating replaces it with a whole different vibe.

So--Lindaland people (guys too, not just ladies)--please help me out by sharing your funniest stories of bad dates!! (This is to help me keep my sense of humor.)

posted October 05, 2009 02:32 PM         

K, I'll start you with some humour.

Worst date ever.
It was a blind date. There are specific reasons why these have such bad raps.

Anyway, my dearest friends (may they sprout hair in unusual places) decided that I was "no good" at picking out men. Since I specifically prefer the bad boy types that torture me. But thats another thread. Never in my life had I had a date with a "jock" type, and they decided it was high time.
I insisted on seeing a photo first, I'm not a complete nut.
So, he was handsome in that kinda way, if you know what I mean.

I didn't want to be trapped at dinner with him, in case I didn't like him. And I thought better not go to a club, too loud, and really best not to involve alcohol when first meeting someone.
So it was arranged he would come to my above mentioned friends home, where we would just have a glass of wine and listen to music, chat, whatever.

So, he shows up 2 hours late. uhum.
He said he finished golfing late.
He didn't know my number, but he sure did know theirs. Didn't matter.
Under his arm is a nearly EMPTY bottle of Crown Royal, which I assume at some point in time, he thought to bring to the gathering, then changed his mind and consumed it himself, either during golfing or on the drive over, who knows?

By this time we were playing a trivia game. He insisted he get to play, even though we were well in the middle of the game. We found a way to accomodate him.

During the game he could not come up with one correct answer. Huge turnoff there. Then he got beligerent and angry at the game. We ignored him, and continued to play, at which time, he began to boo and hiss. (yes, this really happened!)

I guess he became bored, and that is when things went south. He went outside into his car and got his golf clubs. He then returned into the apartment and began to show us, his astounding golf swing (mind you we have no interest, and are still playing a board game) he sets up for the swing, over our heads, turning his body nearly all the way around, *impending doom, do you feel it*

and after we ducked, the flying golf club in question went sailing over our heads, crashing into my friends fish tank, thereby shattering it, and sending gallons of water to shag carpet. (:

He actually had the nerve to show up at my work like, say, three or four times, (I warned my friends if they gave him my number there would be more violence in their home) and could not fathom why I would not agree to another date, after we had "such a good time" the last one!!!!

posted October 05, 2009 02:49 PM         

Actually, I want the bad stories...because I know you LL ladies are smart and beautiful (I sometimes visit the pictures thread), so it helps remind me that the whole sometimes-suckiness of the dating thing does not make me a loser.

quote:

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He actually had the nerve to show up at my work like, say, three or four times, (I warned my friends if they gave him my number there would be more violence in their home) and could not fathom why I would not agree to another date, after we had "such a good time" the last one!!!!

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Wow. Just, wow.

posted October 05, 2009 08:51 PM         

- a date with a guy I met in passing at a dance club in Boston who called himself Britpop Dan* because he had some britpop radio show he apparently thought was very impressive. And when I say "called himself," I mean literally-- in third person. I figured- okay, so he's not so bright, but it's just a date, right? I don't have to marry the guy. Our one date lasted precisely 45 minutes, ending after he told me in grating detail how he found and bought his bomber jacket on sale at Urban Outfitters, told me I was "cute. Not hot, but (I) would probably be hot if (I) was taller" and then asked if I wanted to be his 423rd friendster (you can tell how long ago this was by the inclusion of friendster).

- I had a date with a guy I met at an outdoor show hosted by some acquaintances. We really hit it off at the show and I was super excited for our date--- which ended after it was revealed to me that he was 15 years old. Yes, 15 years old. I was 24 at the time. I swear I had absolutely no idea. You have to give the kid props, though- he played it so cool that if he hadn't fessed up something horrifyingly illegal might have happened. I half expected the "To Catch a Predator" guy to come walking out from behind a curtain.

- When I was 19, I was on my third date with an older guy (27 at the time) I knew from seeing his band play a bunch of times. I was totally starstruck by him. We'd exchanged AIM names and had been talking a lot online. At the end of our second date we'd made out pretty heavily and he'd called me later to tell me he "needed to ask me something major" the next time he saw me. In my precious teenage head I thought he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend. So we're sitting at a table at this Japanese restaurant, all sippin' up our miso, when he suddenly blurts (almost yelling!), "So look- I have herpes, is that a problem?" My jaw hit the floor, bounced back up, and hit the floor again. Needless to say-- it WAS a problem, but thank god for his honesty.

posted October 05, 2009 09:36 PM         

Thank you for sharing...and I am so delighted HerpesGuy chose not to share.

posted October 06, 2009 03:24 PM         

But for this story, I was in college, 20 years old, and had been dating this guy for about 2 months. He was 25. He was charming, respectful, well-educated (I was a junior, he was in his first year of law school), came from a good family, had a little bit of money, etc. etc. etc. Very classy guy but I was only "somewhat" into him. He was totally into me. I felt that he would make a good long-term boyfriend though, so I was reserving judgement on my feelings for him until after we had sex.

The guy shared a townhouse with 2 other male roommates in the city. We had come back to his house after having gone out to dinner, it was like 2 AM, and it was the first time I had been over there so late. So, the sex...it was average sex, but I was feeling ok about that since it usually only gets better after the first time.

Anyway, so since it's 2 AM, and we had just had sex, and I was feeling all open and loving like I normally do after the first time I have sex with someone, I snuggle down and get ready to go to sleep. This jerk says, "Are you going to sleep? You can't spend the night here."

Excuse me? What? Now keep in mind that this was not some fling--this was the guy I had been dating for 2 months. Had met his mom, his friends, his roommates, etc. WTF?

His reasoning: "My roommates & I have a policy not to let anyone spend the night..." Needless to say, after a few choice words from me, him begging and pleading with me not to be mad, and me cursing him out in the middle of the night in his house, I got dressed, stormed out and got in my car and drove home. In the middle of the night.

I never spoke to that guy again. Wouldn't take his phone calls or anything. In hindsight, the roommate policy wasn't a bad thing, just not something you should tell a girl in the middle of the night after having sex with her. ::rolls eyes::

Definitely the worst post-date sex I've ever had, that once incident tainted all positive feelings I had about the whole relationship.

posted October 06, 2009 04:10 PM         

Nine, I agree! Astro details, please!

Although...some people might flee from these Bad Date Dudes before collecting birth info....

posted October 06, 2009 05:10 PM         

That was my only bad Aries. I have been crazy about all the other ones.

posted October 06, 2009 09:19 PM         

Britpop Dumb@ss (who is also OLDER than he told me was! AMAZING):

Sun: Leo
Moon: Libra
Mercury: Virgo
Venus: Libra
Mars: Libra

The Child:

Sun: Leo
Moon: Leo
Mercury: Leo
Venus: Cancer
Mars: Aries

Rockstar-o-sores:

posted October 07, 2009 01:40 PM         

quote:

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...and whole lot of yagermeister

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posted October 07, 2009 06:30 PM         

anyway, so three or so years ago, when my husband split with a woman half his age, I was kinda down in the dumps, dating was THE last thing on my mind.

I was working day shift at a local pub, but the employees were few, and we each had to chose one night of the week to work in order to fill up the hours. I chose Sunday because I thought it wouldn't be as hectic and whatnot.

Anywho, I started noticing this guy that came in, more and more often. He was always with at least 2 or more other guys, and he was so friendly and sweet. Just like a little puppy dog. I usually dont go for this kind either (I'm seeing a theme here, why dont I just stick to my kind whhhyyy?)

So after weeks of this, I am told by a co-worker that Ryan, has a crush on me. So I started paying a little more attention to him and getting to know him. He had just had a divorce a year prior, and he talked alot about missing his kids, which again, was just sweet.

I found out he was like 9 years younger, I wasn't thrilled, but hey, pickins were slim.
So after this weekly flirting, I'm getting frustrated, wondering when he's going to ask me out. His friend drops a hint that Ryan was shy, so, no problem, I decided to ask him out.

My work was having their Christmas party, and I asked him if he wanted to be my date. I figured since he frequented there, it would be comfortable for both of us. Plus, if we should run out of conversation, there would be others around to help out, boy was that an understatement!!!!

Get ready here it comes.

The night of the party, I was already there all day, I had worked that day. I brought a change of clothes and just waited for him at the bar, after I cashed out my till.

He walks in on time, in a suit, with another guy in a suit. (?)
I did mention bar Christmas party? You know, snacky foods, karoake, silly gift exchange. No need for a suit.

But me being my tolerate, albeit, insanely accepting self, thinks, "Okay, whatever, he wants to wear a suit, no problem."

We grab a table, as they were filling up quickly. Along with us comes strange extra guy in suit.
We order our drinks, me a budweiser, him and twin, two sodas.
And I swear you could hear crickets chripping two states away.

Finally, I'm like, "ok, Ryan, who's your friend, aren't you gonna introduce me?"
He looks momentarily confused.
Then says, "Oh, you mean Mark, he's not my friend, he's my brother!"

Now I'm wondering if they are to be ushers in a cousins wedding later this evening or something.

Long story to short, I find out, by excessive digging, that Mark and Ryan are Jehovah's Witness' and Mark has been sent as Ryan's chaperone for our date.

Yeah, let that one sit for a sec.

That's about the time I ordered a double Yager-bomb.
Annnddddd another one.

The murky details that follow are pure speculation and rumour.

Apparently, I had enough of that date, and decided to take off down the road to my former place of employ, which was like...well you've seen RoadHouse right? Pretty close.
Apparently, Ryan follows me there, oh what a bad idea, in a suit and all, with a chaperone.

My biker friend says that the night ended when Ryan burst into tears on his brothers shoulder because he thought I didn't like him and it was christmas and he missed his wife and kids.
Luckily, the brother was old and wise enough to know, best get crying little brother out of a biker bar, especially while wearing a suit.

posted October 07, 2009 11:44 PM         

quote:

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Long story to short, I find out, by excessive digging, that Mark and Ryan are Jehovah's Witness' and Mark has been sent as Ryan's chaperone for our date...My biker friend says that the night ended when Ryan burst into tears on his brothers shoulder because he thought I didn't like him and it was christmas and he missed his wife and kids.

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Aaaaannnd, okay, now I'm hiding under the bed!

posted October 08, 2009 03:08 PM         

It might be something in my natal chart that makes Scorpio men cry. Or, progressions? Or just something about ending a long relationship and being vulnerable, like chum in a shark tank. They send me stormy mixed signals. Then they sting me. Then they CRY.