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Author Topic:   Can Twin Souls/Flames turn on each other?
MsCandeh
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posted October 26, 2009 07:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
*delete*

It's way too hard to answer this question! First to even know whether you have truly met them or not, let alone having them 'turn' on you (I doubt they would, if they were really a twin flame).

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Lucia23
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posted October 26, 2009 10:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
I don't believe in Twin Flames. I think each connection between ANY two people is completely unique and, on some level, very beautiful and significant.

And I think people with an intense connection CAN turn on each other and not be ready for each other.

I wish it was easier to get closer to people we feel drawn to, and especially to mend and repair things we bungle up because we get scared. But it's really hard.

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listenstotrees
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posted October 27, 2009 02:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for listenstotrees     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
I think each connection between ANY two people is completely unique and, on some level, very beautiful and significant.

That's probably true

I've searched for my twin flame all my life, and prayed.

Perhaps the reason I've not managed to find him is that he doesn't exist, not in that sense.

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MsCandeh
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posted October 28, 2009 02:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
And I think people with an intense connection CAN turn on each other and not be ready for each other.

That's what I was thinking when I posted the question...

If they do exist I found mine, but as you know, we have turned on each other quite spectacularly. Many might say that sounds more like a karmic soulmate relationship rather than a twin flame. I'm not sure.

Hypothetically if they do exist then they wouldn't turn on each other, would they?

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comica23
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posted October 28, 2009 09:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for comica23     Edit/Delete Message
Hmm but meeting your twin soul might not necessarily mean it's romantic, right? It might be more about a deep sense of recognition of the other half of you rather than romantic love, but I don't know (since twin flame theoretically means another soul that shares the same soul as you). ^_^;

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comica23
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posted October 28, 2009 10:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for comica23     Edit/Delete Message
By the way, I find soulmates more romantic than twin flames - I mean, how we met certain souls, developed connections/attachments with them through different lives, and then still meet again in the present life time.. ^_^ Maybe in certain twin flame cases it's also like that.. but in any cases, what matters is how we presently (in this life time) feel about each other.

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Lucia23
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posted October 28, 2009 08:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
I find the idea of meeting someone and falling in love (whether it's love at first sight, or a sudden, thrilling realization that you are in love) waaaaay more romantic and exciting than the idea of soul mates or twin flames.

The idea of everything being fixed and predetermined like that seems sort of medieval in a bad way, like literal interpretations of stale and badly-translated religious texts. It seems very backward and flat-earther to me, and more desperate than romantic...although I am delighted for anyone who falls in love, however they want to describe it!

It's just lame when people look for it in a map of "the heavens" based on the time each person drew his/her first breath. If you fall in love with someone, YAY! If you fantasize that you are "meant to be" with someone who's nursing a deeper attraction to someone else and has your number blocked on his cell phone...or you think you share a special soul bond with a celebrity who is a stranger...it's NOT romantic IMO, even if your asteroids are tightly conjunct his draconic asteroids.

I'm fine with saying, "I FEEL so close to her/him, like twin flames"...it's a nice metaphor. Sunchild's recent post "I'm in Love" was really romantic.

Don't get me wrong, I also like and believe in the idea of finding ONE person to share your life with as your only partner till you die--it's not for everyone, I would personally prefer a series of beautiful muses/lovers who mutually adore me--but I think it is absolutely possible and many people desire it and find it. I don't think that means it was fated in the stars--it means they met and made a beautiful, divine connection.

I hate the use of the idea of "Twin Flame" or "Soulmate" to pretty-up and rationalize rejections, betrayals, and relationships that suck, between people who can barely even talk to each other. If I DID believe in it, Twin Flames would be compatible folks who are honest with each other about everything, feel comfortable with each other, make being together (IN PERSON) their #1 priority, have lots of fun together and like sex with each other best. And they would never turn on each other.

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MsCandeh
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posted October 29, 2009 12:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
****delete*****

It's been interesting to hear others thoughts. Do they turn on each other? Maybe, is the conclusion I have come up with! I don't think in the end it would make them feel any better though. Hurting your twin soul, is like hurting yourself no? (Of course, if you believe in that!)
But another question could be: Do they always find each other again? I don't know. I would assume yes because I don't think that link can be broken easily.

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comica23
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posted October 29, 2009 02:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for comica23     Edit/Delete Message
Honestly, I'm not sure if I believe in the existence of twin souls or soulmates across many lives, as I'm not sure if there's really more than just one life time (although I want to believe that there's more than just a life time, that there's meaning to all these things, that we do have souls, and that there's something higher). But in any cases, I think that it's more important to look at how we truly feel for each other in the real life rather than looking at signs in the stars. Coz all these signs might actually be meaningless if there's no real deep connection in the real life.

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Lucia23
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posted October 29, 2009 05:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
If there's only one life (and we can't really know), then I don't think that detracts at all from its deep meaning. To me, the life we live right now, in the present moment, is full of miracles and spiritual significance.

I do think the whole Twin Flame thing can be a convenient rationalization for rejection and/or unrequited love. "He doesn't want me anymore, he went on vacation with the girl he's 'sort of' seeing instead of with me, and though he's friendly, he's asked me not to contact him, he doesn't call me, and he's choosing to spend every night without me in his arms, when I am really, really into him and he could just come over and make love with me" is a lot more heartbreaking/hard to survive than "He is my Twin Flame and we are Meant to Be, but we turned on each other."

The latter implies that in some other life or in some other world or at some other level, you are fated to be a pair, even if it never plays out in real life in the real world.

I think it's a dangerous and potentially unhealthy concept, because it encourages people to have a standard other than mutually wanting to be together for evaluating the relationship. And it encourages people to nourish a fantasy, projection, or obsession, rather than setting out to develop relationships with people they are actually mutually compatible with who actually want to be with them and are emotionally able/ready/willing to do so.

I understand why people want to rationalize pain and disappointment...but real love, even if you have many real loves that don't last forever as one-on-one relationships--is such a beautiful miracle that I think borrowing deterministic thinking about it from cultures that still believe in arranged marriages is a pity.

Not that you shouldn't try to reconnect with someone you're crazy about. You should! It's just that there's not some fixed, medieval, predetermined universe where you are Meant to Be the only person for him and he is Meant to Be the only person for you. Your strong feelings for each other, or not, are just that. They don't necessarily preclude one or both of you having equally strong feelings, at some point, for other human beings, and they don't predestine you to some eternal bond.

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comica23
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posted October 29, 2009 10:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for comica23     Edit/Delete Message
Maybe there's such thing as fate, maybe there's not, but the problem is, sometimes people tend to idealize too much about astrological signs (or simply just the situation) - whatever we read from the stars, if it isn't really working out in the real life, then it isn't really working out in the real life. (but well, we still haven't perfected the star reading anyways, which is another reason for not to rely too much on astrology)

Also, even if there's fate/soulmates from various life times.. what's important is how we presently feel and who we presently choose to be with. It's like, even if we might have met and shared a deep connection during some time of our own journeys, right now I choose to spend my current time with another person I currently love.

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Lucia23
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posted October 30, 2009 01:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message
quote:
Also, even if there's fate/soulmates from various life times.. what's important is how we presently feel and who we presently choose to be with. It's like, even if we might have met and shared a deep connection during some time of our own journeys, right now I choose to spend my current time with another person I currently love.

Sure, but let's say you currently love someone and choose to spend your time with them in this life....but they currently DO NOT choose to spend their time with you.

I think saying, "Maybe it was our Soul Path to be connected and together in Another Lifetime instead of now...." or "We are Twin Flames but we turned against each other" is kind of a psychic exploitation/invasion of that person.

It takes away his or her power to say "NO, I DON'T WANT YOU" and to mean it...or even to feel neutral about you and bow away gracefully. It is you deciding that no matter what that person thinks, feels, or says, or how that person acts, you have some special ability to see the fate of his soul, either through asteroid conjunctions or some other way.

That's why even if it's kept secret and never ladders into stalking, this kind of thinking reminds me of delusional disorders like Erotomanic Delusional Disorder, where the disordered person believes that the object of his/her fixation cannot communicate his/her love, but instead is sending signs.

I just don't like the whole business. I feel like even when we don't know about it, if some creep is fixated on us we can pick it up unconsciously and we experience its weight. And this "Twin Flame" idea encourages disordered and delusional thinking.

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MyVirgoMask
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posted October 30, 2009 03:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MyVirgoMask     Edit/Delete Message
I think such concepts like soul mates and twin flames in general are dangerous because of whose hands they fall into.... like Lucia says, it can be dangerous as well since in some cases it takes away the other's person's power to say no. It blurs their boundaries. It takes away from them.
I want you but you don't want me, but it doesn't matter because deep down we're meant to be. How is this even a relationship? The problem with the concept is that it's got an agenda, an expectation tied to it. There's too much gray matter...a void. A space. And then as people we don't like space so instead we try to bridge that gap with theories theories theories about love and relationships. But in the end they're nothing more than theories. They're not the actual experience, are they.

Sometimes I wish we can throw out these concepts and theories and just go by our own intuition. No theory can beat out that knowledge which is in your bones. It's a knowing which can't be taught. You get there by just being there. You have the relationship and it's *right* because YOU'RE IN IT, AND THERE'S NOWHERE ELSE YOU'D RATHER BE...No other person you'd rather be with.
Really, is there something else which can beat that very simple truth?


Still, I understand this drive and need we sometimes get to mythologize our personal experiences in order to gain some kind of objectivity. And maybe this is where theories of twin souls or twin flames come in. I think we are hungry to know that our suffering isn't futile - that it means something. It MUST mean something, right? Well, I have no idea.
I think we can mythologize our experiences a bit and mythologize even our pain in order to gain perspective, but there's a danger of being overly attached to the theory of our own pain because we don't want to feel it. Why not just feel the loss, grieve it, and move on? Ultimately this is a much richer experience.
In retrospect, we can look back and then really see whether or not this person was 'right' for us - but not while we're in the thick of the experience. In the middle of the experience we're meant to be HAVING the experience and not spending so much damn time trying to define it.

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Deux*Antares
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posted October 30, 2009 05:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Deux*Antares     Edit/Delete Message
True, Lucia and MVM.

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comica23
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posted October 30, 2009 10:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for comica23     Edit/Delete Message
Sometimes, I feel kinda scared of how some people would say how they're in love with someone, and this someone is also in love with someone else. When it comes to this, I feel for the real victim, which is this someone else - happy with his/her gf/bf, yet not knowing that his/her gf/bf is currently so "in love" with someone else (really scares my Pisces DC lol).
I do think that it's possible to come to love someone else.. sometimes, it just happens, and it's really hard for everyone. But the problem is, in most of the times, it's just temporary passion and idealizing (which is often easy before we date this someone).

But well, if the person you love is currently with someone else and not really doing anything at all for your feelings for each other, then it's simply not working and better go on. Coz if he/she isn't really making a definite decision (whether to be with you or let you go - even after a long time), then it means that he/she either doesn't really care enough (and likes the present situation or is just selfish), or is just a coward not able to make any good decisions at all. And in either ways, it just makes everyone unable to have happiness.

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listenstotrees
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posted November 01, 2009 03:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for listenstotrees     Edit/Delete Message
Got as far as Lucia23's post.
Makes some interesting points.

Perhaps the key then is too overcome any feelings of possessiveness or dependency on any particular person, just simply enjoy each relationship for what it is, fleeting or long-lasting.

Easier said than done.
Argh.

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Lara
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posted November 02, 2009 05:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lara     Edit/Delete Message
From my personal experience - KARMIC soul mates can turn on each other... In a BIG and nasty way.

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