posted December 08, 2009 06:13 AM
After visiting this thread, I wrote this as a way to lecture myself 
:When they speak of a heart, I must assume that they are speaking of the soul, the spirit and the part of us that houses or handles the emotional side of our being. When they say it is broken, I suppose they are speaking of the mind and how it experiences errors and malfunction in thought, a mind that is not yet able to process the data it has received, an error caused by expectations not being met. I have no idea, of course. I ramble and speculate with you that is reading such mindless drivel. Matters of the heart are not my strongest point of knowledge because I think any amount of knowledge is useless in this department because knowledge is mind work, not soul work. What I am trying to say is that the mind is a sophisticated machine which processes data from our body and soul. It is the middle man between these two entities and acts as an input/output conduit for spiritual and 3 D life.
What I am trying to explore is what causes that state which humans call heartbreak, term which confuses this whole discussion, therefore, for the purpose of this discussion, we shall call heartbreak, mindbreak. This might prove fruitless, but let’s give it a whirl, don’t we?
Let’s begin with person A who is heartbroken. A’s complaint is that “You said you’d never leave me”. I use this example because I hear a lot of people say this and it makes no sense to me. Who would believe such nonsense, to begin with; and to end with, who would promise something that hectic? The truth is though, some people do promise such, and some people if not most, expect such to be promised to them. Then, like clockwork, A gets “betrayed” by the person who promised to never leave (we’ll call this person B), and now A is alone somewhere crying and feeling sorry for the self or resenting B because B became true to the self. Observing this phenomenon is definitely one of those things that make being alive fun because it is like watching some mindless movie, it is so entertainingly grotesque.
Enough about my sick pleasures, let’s get back to the situation of Person A.
The first thing that comes to mind is that Person A had unrealistic, no UNNATURAL, expectations. A’s expectations were based on fear or panic more likely, and all this unnatural, delusional and fearful living came and bit A in the ass in the end because NATURE and NATURAL LAWS ALWAYS WIN! Person B had suffered from cowardice and delusions of sorts because to promise such a thing is likely a result of fear of disappointing another and telling another what they want to hear, OR… it is a case of acting like one is psychic, like one can tell the future when they can’t, delusional.
Anyway, B is not the focus of this discussion. It is A that we are interested in.
When B leaves, A is left devastated because B betrayed and screwed him/her over. Hey! I have been cheated on more times than I can remember, so don’t think I say all of this because I lack experience. I was angry due to feeling stupid for believing the sons o’ biscuits. I never resent the other person at all. I merely lose respect for them, coupled with a certain relief for ousting themselves because by the time all shite hits the fan, I am usually fed up and just praying to God that something happens to get them out of my life. Anything! So when they finally get sloppy, it is a general relief so that I can just tell them to get the **** out of my life. I am usually surprised at their behavior at first, to go around lying and skulking all over the place like vermin is a human behavior that I have not explored to great extent. Yes, there’s nothing that insults and disgusts me more than lies. Honest to God! Nothing gets my pulse as raised and nothing gets me reeling like being lied to, because I can always tell, so the bit about the person questioning my intelligence is usually the only reason I am being upset, not because I feel betrayed. Trust me, I have explored this thing many a times due to the great many times I have been “cheated” on. By the last time it happened, I realized that it wasn’t because they would leave my life that upset me. I liked that bit. Instead, what upset me was the wasted time because if they had avoided the cheating and just left earlier (or if I had left earlier), I would have been much happier. Sad but true.
I never say, “But you said you’d never leave me…” but I have said, “Why the hell did you say you’ll never leave me in the first place? What was going through your mind?” I asked those questions out of sheer curiosity. I have not yet found the answer to such question, and quite frankly it is none of my business.
So, when A gets “betrayed”, which we’ll call, disappointed, she starts blaming B for all his/her frustrations and pains. The fact of the matter is that both are to blame, or none are to blame, but what can’t happen is for one party to be to blame. For goodness sake, A allowed B all the crap s/he dished out. But then, whatever the cause, we now have A being “heartbroken”. What does that mean, really?
Well, there could be a number of things at work when a person is mindbroken, such as:
1. Grief from loss
2. Anger from humiliation
3. Self-pity from disappointment
4. Delusions of reconciliation
There are more factors but I’ll deal with these four for now.
1. Grief happens on a soul level. It is the cutting of the cord connection between one soul and another. The mind is required in this for allowing this process to occur, but the process does not occur in the mind alone. How the mind comes into play is that it goes into the files for data and compartmentalizes it properly, in the rightful place for each thing. This means that the mind is in charge of acceptance, which is the process of filing things where they really belong – not filing the experience of letting go in a personalized manner and putting it in the “I am worthless” folder, but instead to put it in the folder named, “It is what it is” where there is a bit of detachment from the experience because in reality, someone leaving you has nothing to do with self-worth. They left because they wanted to.
2. Anger happens when you’ve really had enough of the crap! You are tired of letting bad things happen to you and even though you might not see that you allow these things to happen to you, what you do know is that you have had quite enough of the foolishness and now it is time to snap back to a state of mind that you want to experience. Anger happens on the soul level too, but for any changes to take place in order to move pass the anger, we have to use the mind to change our views and perception about the situation. Anger is temporary and should never be long term because it is a pushing force and quite hard on the body. It is to initiate change in one’s life and this anger state of being should be as long as is necessary or else, hello sickness! Again, one goes into the mind and files things correctly in order to alleviate anger.
3. Self-pity is a result of the filing itself. The soul is most likely unable to work with this emotion because it is perverted. This is actually not even an emotion, if we were to get technical. It is an error in thought, and the result of anger not being dealt with properly. It is a big player when one is still cleaning up shop and filing. It is a result of confusion of data. It is like a symptom and not the cause of the entire experience. I personally feel this a lot in my life, but I can’t make sense of the “emotion” really. It seems a bit irrational. I don’t know what it is and why it is. I don’t even know when it usually comes about for others. What I do know is that for me, it happens just before I get over the entire ordeal. When I am feeling sorry for myself, I am usually in the eve of solving my mind filing problems. After this stage, I am usually clear, and I usually realize that all my self-pitying thoughts were a huge error in perception. So, how I can see this “emotion” is that is like the dust which rises during a good spring-cleaning. It is when all things are messy, and disorganized due to the cleaning up process.
4. Delusions of reconciliation happen in the mind too, and not in the soul. Any delusion is a mind hologram. This bit happens before a person even gets angry. This is when a person is still filled with hope that things might turn out right, that things might get fixed. It is part of the denial stage, and a total waste of time, and so much so that this stage should be outlawed, that’s how useless it is. But… nothing is totally useless. We do get sucked into delusions when we think we can’t handle reality. It is a reaction that promises to protect us. The thing is: it never does protect us. It merely distracts the person from taking the necessary steps. It is due to fear, of course, but a perverted type of fear that is panic related. It is when the person is so afraid of the pending change that they would rather create a world of make-believe than evolve to the next level of life. For me, this bit happens before anger as well, when I am still trying to make nice and denying everything that is staring me in the face.
Anyway, as we can see… the point here is that the only things that are healthy for a person when they get disappointed and mindbroken is a healthy dose of anger (not rage) and grief (not depression). Self-pity is mere confusion and it is best to experience it fully without denying it once it has arrived, but it is very good to know that it will pass, it is a lie, or more correctly, it will only pass if you clean up your mind and file things properly. If you are caught in pity-ville for more than a month, (well, speaking for myself) that would be a sign of depression, which is a perversion of grief, grief not being handled accordingly.
Anger says, “Enough is enough”. Grief says, “I am accepting things as they are, letting go of control!”. If you miss these steps at any point of your mindbreak, you will be caught in an error in thought mode, where you are delusional and self-pitying for longer than is good for the soul. One you have been angry, and once you have grieved, only then can you start seeing yourself with an honest eye, and learn to Love yourself again. When you love yourself again, you will start seeing positive things to emulate in your world, than things to scowl at. If you have not done proper grieving and have not experienced a healthy anger, you will merely resent people who have what you desire, instead of emulating them. You’ll become cynical, whining, and just plain unbearably annoying to others. As for the self, if you miss the grief and anger stage, you will hate a lot of things in life, mostly yourself. Your soul will get more detached with you and your body as your body loses vitality because the mind will be so muddled that there would be no connecting tool between you and your soul. In love, you’d turn all possessive with love, greedy or stingy with it. Then, when presented with a scary and new opportunity to love again, you would let fear stop you from trying again, or go in foolishly to get your mind broken again until you learn how to heal it properly.
The point is that, person A should not be using the word “YOU” in her journey of SELF-healing, because that is contradictory and thus counter-productive. You can't look at others while fixing yourself. S/he shouldn’t have to say, “You said you’d never leave me”, but maybe s/he must acknowledge that s/he left her/himself long time ago for anything to have escalated to the point of mindbreak.
Lindaland
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posted December 08, 2009 02:25 AM
posted December 08, 2009 06:13 AM
posted December 14, 2009 10:01 PM