posted January 26, 2010 04:07 PM         

it feels like closure, not exactly sorrow but wistful. I desire someone so much. but I can't have him. I don't want him like a husband. it's desire but man oh man I desire him. think of desire, then multiply it by 10, then multiply it By 2 again. sometimes the desire is so strong that I feel sick. I just have to close my eyes and I can feel and see and smell his body. taste? I don't try imagining, it's too much

but we can't be together. he's in a relationship already. besides, I don't want him as my partner. for many reasons that I prefer to keep to myself.

and the feelings that all this evoque are sweetness, gentleness, tenderness, delicacy, softness, but also bestial desire pure 100% unashamed animality!!!
sexual union I guess

but the feelings also bring with them emptyness, as if I was beaten in the stomach and some part of me was taken away

the emotional pain becomes physical when I accept that this desire won't be fulfilled.

and then, comes the feeling of closure, a mix of all the above, that I just had to share right now.

posted January 26, 2010 04:20 PM         

What is the closure?

I have only been there once - felt like I had been kicked in the stomach, my insides ripped out - it took me 2 years to get anywhere near closure, and that happened little by little, one day at a time.

posted January 26, 2010 06:14 PM         

re the placements, we are compatible; but he is with his partner too.

I'm an air sun sign and air moon sign so I tend to "detach" from emotions often; I see them, think about them, feel them but not always at the same time. when it happens simultaneously, I drown

he's compatible enough with me to trigger that type of emotions and I don't look for formulas to validate my experiences. but I have analysed our charts obviously. I'm reluctant to get opinions of others on the charts.

posted January 26, 2010 08:05 PM         

I envy people with alot of air in their charts to be able to be practical in matters of the heart, and know when enough is enough, and move on.

The Aquas I know personally are excellent at this, and I'm about as UN-aqua as they come.

You'd think my Airy Moon would help in these matters but it doesn't. I have too much Neptune clouding my vision and too much Pluto making my blood run hot.

I know for a fact, that even when I do move on, this person will always live in my heart, mind and dreams.

posted January 26, 2010 08:09 PM         

STP lyrics
Stone Temple Pilots Lyrics

Still Remains Lyrics

our bed we live, our bed we sleep
making love and I become you
flesh is warm with naked feet
stabbing thorns and you become me
oh, I'd beg for you. Oh, you know I'll beg for you.
she holds my hand we share a laugh,
slipping orange blossom breezes
love is still and sweat remains
a cherished gift unselfish feeling...
oh, I'd beg for you. Oh, you know I'll beg for you.
she tells me things, I listen well
drink the wine and save the water
skin is smooth, I steal a glance
dragon flies "er" gliding over...
oh, I'll beg for you. Oh, you know I'll beg for you.

pick a song and sing a yellow nectarine
take a bath, I'll drink the water that you leave
if you should die before me
ask if you can bring a friend
pick a flower, hold your breath
and drift away...

posted January 28, 2010 03:22 PM         

Be careful pire, it sounds to me like you may have either your Sun, Moon or VE aspecting his P at either conjunction, square or, opposition. I think, from the way you are speaking, it is your VE opposition his P. Any of the aspects mention suggests influences that are very difficult to control in your life.

Think twice before you do anything that involves him and or his current interest.

I prescreen compatible people by matching birthdays to birthdays using Synastry Aspecting. If you like, I can see if I can find some dates for you. I will need your DOB and place and time born to get started.

posted January 28, 2010 04:39 PM         

slowpoke, can I email u to get this info offline please? not today cause I'm on my phone but tomorrow or saturday, could I send you our details. I'm interested to know what you have to say cause some of the aspects you listed are indeed present.

if I post my email, you can just reply or say hi so I have your email too;

mine is pacodanslesnuages@hotmail.fr

(I'm private regarding infos.)

posted January 29, 2010 08:32 AM         

I will e-mail you, however it will be only for the data needed to generate the list I mentioned. The e-mail will come from risingpeople.

I am not at liberty, company policy, to discuss more detailed information concerning individual unions and the likes. As far as aspects go, try this page on Linda's site.

Aspects To Live For
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum24/HTML/202766.html

posted January 29, 2010 03:50 PM         

or....maybe in such a poker game...

"hit me"

again...

still...

same

blessings

posted February 01, 2010 06:22 PM         

so I had a long, hurtful reflection on this matter, and closure IS the way forward. He's ALWAYS gonna be important for me in some ways, and closure will come with time erasing the "need" and replacing it with, space, may be?!

gypsee, fixed sign are not necessarily strong, in that case I APPEAR strong maybe but I am not. it is different, it is too painful to my water placement. besides, I don't want to be responsible for a break up; not that I couldn't have done it, but I think I'm growing up.

kat, I will do that; simply, and deeply.

ami, thanks for the motherly advice, gratefully taken on board

hippichick, I could have liked being spanked by him, but I'll forget that.

slowpoke, I won't need the astro stuff, but thank you very much.

seeker, good luck with your situation

eskimono, "I have only been there once - felt like I had been kicked in the stomach, my insides ripped out - it took me 2 years to get anywhere near closure, and that happened little by little, one day at a time.
But I would do it again. At least I knew I was alive."

that's it.

posted February 02, 2010 04:33 AM         

I think you are a special person, stay strong!

posted February 02, 2010 03:55 PM         

sigh.

what to DO!