posted March 21, 2010 12:53 PM         

That was over a month ago, and I haven't heard from him since. In a way it's good, because it was such a nice evening that I think to top it would be difficult. He was actually the only person I've ever fancied at first sight as well. The moment he started speaking to me I just looked at him and thought "oh my God he's gorgeous".
Of course, I wasn't overly impressed by the thought that he might be seeing/ in a relationship with someone else, and thought: "well that's not my problem, and I don't want it to BECOME my problem, quite frankly". I split from a Scorpio in January who had an awful lot of problems, and I have also had to get rid of various needy and clingy friends who are unable to sort their problems out. Not to mention that I myself have Saturn tr. through my 1st house. I am currently motivated towards work and career, and my social life has gone down the pan. I have made a pact with myself not to chase trouble this year, and not to run after people. I am not particularly desperate for love any more.

Everywhere I read in my horoscope that I am supposed to be feeling more loving, and it's not happening. This guy was quite a bit younger than me (25 to my 35) and I have done quite a lot of things in the last 10 years re: my career, which I suspect might have left him feeling slightly intimidated, as he still has all that in front of him I'm also divorced, and I suppose I couldn't blame him for seeing me as "damaged goods". I'm aware that I'm also not getting any younger, and that I may not look so great in 5 years' time. Which might be fine by me, but probably not by someone much younger.

I just can't be *bothered* with "love" any more. I have to ask myself what sort of honour it is for a man to "choose" a woman, when these women are routiney put down, behind their backs, by their husbands/ boyfriends at work, or to other friends. Everyone who's in a relationship seems to spend 75% of the time trying to figure out how to get out of it. There are all those marriage breakdowns in the news. I just don't *get* the whole "love" business. Fine for those who want to procreate, but I don't want kids. I'm actually really happy doing my hobbies and being able to come home in the evenings and do whatever the hell I like, creative projects, whatever, without someone looking over my shoulder. I am also not a particularly sexual person, I guess. I like it very much in the context of a committed relationship - but casual sex - go figure. People focus too much on the physical side of things and not enough on the spiritual. They never come off the physical plane, as if gratification of that type was the be-all and end-all.

As early as last year, I would probably have got back to this bloke, but I just can't be bothered. I think he just wanted to see if he could ask a hot chick out! One part of me doesn't know why I don't approach the situation in terms of "being friends" with him, but the truth is that when men and women are "friends" it is quite difficult to simply "be friends", except where there is no physical attraction at all. It would seem like I was some poor desperate middle-aged woman chasing after him - and I know how awful it is having someone much older, whom you don't really like, phoning you up/ texting you, whatever - it can get really annoying. So I won't bother. In fact, I am so darn busy and have so much to do that I don't have time for a social life, let alone a relationship, right now. Shame, but he's clearly not interested, and my career is my focus currently, and everybody seems to be in limbo and topsy-turvy right now regarding career/relationships/location.

posted March 21, 2010 04:57 PM         

(Unless, as is the case with most Aries women, I seemed so capable that he wondered exactly where he would fit into my life).

posted March 23, 2010 07:32 PM         

My sentiments exactly. Tick, tick and tick.

I feel more *centered* now

posted April 16, 2010 10:56 AM         

I don't know if either of us really *want* each other as such - romance and relationships are the last thing on my mind - my chief concerns are work, work, work, possible holiday, friends - with R & R off the radar - although he said he might come to an exhibition of mine (I don't expect him to! )