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Author Topic:   Why love hurts so much
listenstotrees
Knowflake

Posts: 1899
From: Rivendell
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 24, 2010 06:06 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for listenstotrees     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think love hurts so much because in a world where everything feels so separate, falling in love with someone provides such an oasis in the desert of this illusion.

When we are born into this world, we fall from the loving oneness of the higher spiritual realm, coupled with the nurturing oneness of the peaceful womb, which maybe, is a symbolic reflection of that other world.

The world we are born into is a world of coldness and of separation.

When we are held in loving arms, this helps us link back in to our true state again. Love is our essence. Loving "oneness" is our true nature.

Love is the essence of who we truly are, and what we experience after that moment when we are born influences the extent of how much we forget.

But we all remember....we all remember somewhere deep down, and whether we realize it or not, we are yearning for it, to feel a part of it once again.

I think, that's why, when we are older....having already experienced many years of this reality....the growing, which is often painful, and school, which often cruel.....when we fall in love with someone it awakens a feeling inside, puts us in touch with something greater and higher....it allows us to feel whole again.


When love fails....when the person who has provided that "oasis" for a time...makes us feel we are no longer special....
it awakens the old wound,
the wound we all felt at some point, after we had been in this world for a length of time.....the feeling of separation and aloneness.
We had sanctuary from this world, for a time, and now we feel abandoned. We feel rejected, and because they rejected us, a feeling of worthlessness approaches us, that terrible shadow, giving us the soul's dark night.

This is why it feels so painful. This is why it hurts us so deeply.

In writing this, I am hoping that anyone who may come by these words, who is hurting, can at least be comforted by the understanding that none of us are alone in these experiences. I know that this is hardly sufficient to ease the pain when you are really missing somebody in particular, but maybe it can at least help a little.

Words cannot lessen the significance of how it feels when we have lost something in our lives as important as a loving bond we shared. We all feel an innate need to love and be loved, which we express in different ways. This is a part of the nature of a human being, and we should be proud of it. It does not make us weak. It makes us special and who we are.


It's all a journey...a learning process.
We learn from those we encounter....and whether what we share with them is for a reason, a season, or a life-time....we may chose to see our time with them as a learning experience, as a gift.

We can chose to not look back in bitterness.
We can chose how it is we want to see things. When I think of it like that...that this choice is all mine...it feels good, because I feel empowered.

Indeed, how we experience life is so dependent of each of our individual points of perspective/ perception. In a way, we all look at the world through our own unique pair of sunglasses, providing our very own "trip", our experience through this density in time and space, on Earth.

We shouldn't base of sense of worth on how another person sees us or feels about us. We need our own sense of self worth; by doing this we can allow ourselves the strength that was already ours but were unable to see.
The way you perceive someone is different to the way someone else perceives that person, and so on and so on. Reality is always dependent upon that perspective. Why do we allow our feelings to be slaves to how other people see us or feel about us? If we do that, we can never be content because how others see us will always be subjective to a limited human perspective. What matters most is how you feel about yourself in your own heart. Our heart should be our guide. Ultimately, we are our own judge, and that is all that will matter the day our point of perception has been lifted upward.

I know that even once we have realized all the things that these finite words have tried to express, we still feel the need for companionship and closeness; no amount of wisdom can change that, but it may help the wait just a little. Also, I have noticed, not every individual feels a need to be in an actual relationship; the basic function of loving and being loved is expressed in life in many different ways....friends, family, taking care of others in need...it all matters. But I'm writing specifically to those who do feel that need, the need for a relationship. Libra might be to blame, but who knows.
I just want to say that I found the love I was searching for, I found it eventually. The wait felt so painful and so long, especially the part of not knowing exactly if it would, how much of what I dreamed of/ felt inside was fantasy and how much of it could become real. But I found it....I found the love I had always sought.

If it can come true for me then it can come true for you too. It is only a question of time, of when....and time is the real pain. So I guess all we can do in the meantime is take each day as it comes, take what we can from the learning phases as we encounter them, allow them to feel easier on us by simply perceiving them differently. I realize, now I look back, the pain of my yearning could have been eased if I could only see things in a less restricted way. There is so much beauty in the world....everywhere....and every part of life is connected.....each and every one of us can tune into this, not only through meditation as we may think of it, but through many forms of meditation.

I don't want to sound all preachy and new-agey, and I certainly don't want to sound as if I am claiming to have a great amount of wisdom! I am not wise. There is much I struggle with in this world....much I cannot cope with. There are many answers I seek to questions I have before I will be able to feel I have risen above certain shadows I live with- questions.

Just wanted to share a few thoughts.

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"Throughout the universe there's a network of wires stretching to infinity. The horizontal wires are placed in space; the vertical in time. Everywhere where these wires cross eachother, there's an individual. And every individual is a crystal bead. The big light of an Absolute Being enlightens and penetrates each crystal bead. And every crystal bead reflects not only the light of all other crystals in the network, but also every other reflection, from all corners of the Cosmos."
The Rigveda - Indra's Net

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venus in gemini
Knowflake

Posts: 883
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 24, 2010 01:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for venus in gemini     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Awesome LTT. Thanks.

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Frozen Queen
Moderator

Posts: 258
From: 11th Dimension
Registered: Dec 2010

posted March 02, 2011 05:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Frozen Queen     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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rajji
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Posts: 475
From:
Registered: Jan 2011

posted March 06, 2011 07:12 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for rajji     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

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LEXX
Moderator

Posts: 5411
From: Still out looking for Schrodinger's cat.......& LEXIGRAMMING.♥.. is my Passion!
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 06, 2011 08:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for LEXX     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can relate to much of what you have said.
Sigh.......
I am still waiting for the day when I can believe completely when someone says;
"I love You".
Sigh.......
Until then;
I shall continue to love myself.

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~The present time is theirs, but the future is mine.~Nikola Tesla
~There is no box.~H♥
~Balance is not letting anyone love you less than you love yourself.~Felipe
~I remember, therefore I am immortal~LEXX }><}}}(*>~

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TxGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 129
From:
Registered: Feb 2011

posted March 06, 2011 10:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for TxGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by LEXX:
I can relate to much of what you have said.
Sigh.......
I am still waiting for the day when I can believe completely when someone says;
"I love You".
Sigh.......
Until then;
I shall continue to love myself.


I think you are spot on, COMPLETELY. That's the word. I think the reason it is so hard to find someone who loves completely is not only do they have to know themselves but they have to love themselves.

And in society today we are taught not to love ourselves. But, you love yourself and I believe that is the very first step for anyone. You are ahead of many people, LEXX. But, we will catch up and so will all the people who will come into your life and love you COMPLETELY.

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TxGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 129
From:
Registered: Feb 2011

posted March 06, 2011 10:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for TxGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with you, LTT. Good post

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Ami Anne
Moderator

Posts: 7223
From: Pluto/house next to NickiG
Registered: Sep 2010

posted March 17, 2011 09:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ami Anne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
This is a Bible version but we were never meant to be separate from God.
All separation is painful to man cuz he was meant to not even know he was separate from God.

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Jesus never put his trust in man cuz he knew what was in man.
He who controls his Spirit is greater than he who controls a city
Proverbs

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Ilithia
Newflake

Posts: 5
From: Brisbane, QLD, Australia
Registered: Mar 2011

posted March 18, 2011 12:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ilithia     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think your right.

I only hope my wounds are healed soon.
x

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Sara

Cancer Sun. Capricorn Rising. Leo Moon.

"The night walked down the sky with the moon in her hand" ~ Frederick L. Knowles

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Randall
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Posts: 6766
From: The Goober Galaxy
Registered: Apr 2009

posted March 18, 2011 02:25 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Randall     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Very well-articulated and deep. I concur.

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