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Author Topic:   Get close.. fight.. come back.. where is this going?
helnbak
Knowflake

Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted May 04, 2010 07:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for helnbak     Edit/Delete Message
Hi

We've been doing this dance for a yr now.. we get close.. we figure out a way to fight.. we come back together.. get closer than before.. fight again.. same drama over and over again...
I feel like there's such a potential for this to be something great but we're both just very scared.
I know that when you're in something, you don't see things objectively.. you kind of believe what you want to believe...
I'm a Gemini with Cap moon and Asc.. He's Taurus with some Aries (i think)
So.. looking for some objectivity from the more experienced...

Thanks!

Me June 20 78 Him May 7 68

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MsCandeh
Knowflake

Posts: 534
From: Australia
Registered: Jul 2009

posted May 05, 2010 01:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MsCandeh     Edit/Delete Message
I don't know what to say because I am a Taurus (Lib moon) been doing this dance with a Gemini (Aqu moon) for 8 months! (there is also a love triangle involved which is why this whole thing started).

Are you going cold on him to cause a fight.. how is it manifesting?

Ours is different in that we don't fight. He just stops talking to me (how very Gemini hehe). Then I ignore him then he comes back. Then we get along well again then he pulls away so I stop talking to him / sending messages.. then he weasels his way back in through sweet talking (and he does this by getting to my sentimental side and bringing up nice things we shared). If he didnt pull away when we were getting along well there wouldn't be a problem.

Gah! Men. :P

Seeing as you're the Gemini here, and Taureans are fairly sentimental (even if some of us hide it well) then if you want to get his attention just try bringing up the past and nice things you shared and connected with together (it's a security, nice cushy feeling thing). Hey, it works on me! IF you do (and I am not saying you do) then don't pull away when he reciprocates. But then again I am female and tend to be more emotional and my experience with taurus males is that they are very sentimental but don't like to wear their heart on their sleeve/show that they are. My guess would be that you are reacting to HIS coldness/slowness to show emotion/declare his undying love? Due to the fact you fight I would say he is not actually not feeling anything, he is probably just not showing it ... maybe he is afraid to show it in case he gets hurt.Maybe you need to be a bit more patient with him to start being open again - I think that is one of the lessons Geminis typically need to learn from Taureans .. and Taureans need to learn from Geminis to let go of things and be a bit more light footed/hearted. Taureans typically (and I am speaking based on sun sign astrology only) need to feel secure before they declare they're undying love for smoeone and that you won't leave them hanging high and dry. We really take things to heart and feel things very deeply even if we don't always show it.

I am just speculating though because I don't know why you actually fight. Hope I have helped a little bit though.

Oh and it is really scary because I think Taurus and Gemini complement each other really well when they are self-aware and aware of how the other is reacting and respectful of that. And usually they will need complimentary personal planets. (again I can only generalise here, as there are always exceptions). Typically they fill in each other's weaknesses and can encourage each other and have fun banter too. Love the union, when it works out. I have seen a few happy Taurus/Gem couples but you have to work on being aware of each other's different reactions to things. But well worth the effort.

Posting a synastry chart would be helpful.

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etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 322
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted May 05, 2010 10:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
Ugh!! Helnbak, I feel your pain and frustration!

I'm going through the EXACT same thing with a very confusing Leo/Scorpio/Virgo combination... except there's no fighting. He'll initiate contact, we'll get kind of close, and then he'll just abruptly pull away! ( as in he stops talking to me like in Mcandeh's situation) And so then I tell myself, forget about it, it's never going to happen!.... And JUST when I do, he comes back! Ugh!! Terribly annoying, isn't it?

I really hope you get your situation straightened out! Good luck, dear

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Happy Dragon
Knowflake

Posts: 459
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted May 05, 2010 11:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Happy Dragon     Edit/Delete Message
~ helnbak ~
check out transits to both natal charts ..
the info and answers are there ..
( i.e. the answer lies in how-one-reacts to the transits

( and most folk don't realise they are in the middle of an outer planet transit ..till the transit is over ..
( more often than not .. the person can't see the trees for the forest .. while the transit(s) is (are) in effect


e.g. if someone posts a thread that they are going thru heavy duty emotional stress ..
or they've fallen in love big-big-time .. ..
you can bet your last dollar that they have outer planetary transits effecting their chart ..

~~~~~~~~~~
both the op charts have ongong transits from Uranus ..

his chart has mercury conjunct mars .. ( both square to jupiter )
( i.e. ' verbal arguments might be always part of him )
bm.lillith is near the same conjunction ..
that conjunction 'sextiles' natal chiron ..
transiting chiron .. and neptune are 'squaring that conjunction ..

t.pluto is trining his natal venus ..
t.saturn opposes his natal chiron ..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
transiting Saturn and transiting Uranus are both now square to your sun
and nearly on your aries-libra nodal axis
transiting pluto is 'opposite' your natal mercury ..

many of them (transits ) would either be in effect or building up as you started the relationship ..

outer planetary transits take quite a while to pass .. years in some cases ..
~~~~~~~~~~

might be some info here ..
~ http://www.happydragon.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/jkbx/audiofls.html ~

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helnbak
Knowflake

Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted May 10, 2010 11:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for helnbak     Edit/Delete Message
Hi MsCandeh

Thanks for replying.. we go hot and cold on each other because we don't trust.. or because we need constant reminders that the other still feels something.
Hehe in my case, the Taurean weasles his way back through sweet talk.. everytime I think pulling away is the right thing to do.. he'll sense it and say something that ropes me right back in again.. I do the same though
I think you're right.. we're both just scared of getting hurt.. I just wish we could get to an even keel... where u just know and trust... or maybe realize we never will and call it a day.
Dunno.. for today I'm letting it ride and see what happens. Good luck to me

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helnbak
Knowflake

Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted May 10, 2010 11:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for helnbak     Edit/Delete Message
Hi etherealenlightenment

Thanks for replying. DO you think it's like a "want your cake and want to eat it too" kind of thing? Where he wants to make sure you're always around ... like almost an ego trip?

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helnbak
Knowflake

Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jul 2009

posted May 10, 2010 11:31 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for helnbak     Edit/Delete Message
Hi Happy Dragon

Thanks for looking all that up... although I have no idea what it means I'll take a look at the link and see if I can make sense of it.

Thanks again

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etherealenlightenment
Knowflake

Posts: 322
From: far away...
Registered: May 2009

posted May 16, 2010 01:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for etherealenlightenment     Edit/Delete Message
helnbak,

God, I sure hope not! I would be absolutely devastated if it was all just an ego trip!!

I haven't always been around, either. I was in a 2 year relationship that I just got out of, and during that time, I completely ignored his advances...

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GypseeWind
Moderator

Posts: 3503
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009

posted May 20, 2010 01:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GypseeWind     Edit/Delete Message
Oh boy, can I ever relate to this.

You asked where is this going? Probably round and round unless you do something about it.

It's been three years for me.
The last breakup in the winter was on me, and I swore I'de never speak to him again, but that didn't last at all.

Sometimes these things are like addictions you know? We can be addicted to the person, the behavior, the results, who knows?

One thing I think I've figured out, is that nothing 'just happens' to you.
We teach people how to treat us, and they respond.
So, I like the fact that you are saying you do the same thing as he does, (the pulling away) and that you know you have trust issues.
That shows maturity and a depth of knowing oneself.

A good thing for sure when you read so much on these boards along the lines of, "why is HE doing this to ME!"
At least you know that you have partial responsibility.

One of my favorite quotes is from the movie, 'Dead Man Walking' when Susan Sarandon tells Sean Penn, "You have take part in your own redemption."

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Taurean_Scorpion
Knowflake

Posts: 122
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009

posted June 13, 2010 04:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Taurean_Scorpion     Edit/Delete Message
Same thing with me and my boyfriend. We've been together for a year and half now....Doing the same thing over and over again. It's very tiring and scary. I don't know what's going to happen in the long run. I feel like fighting like that..which I always obviously take part in, is due to my subconscious sabotaging the relationships but that's not necessarily what I want. It's all very complicated I think.

What brings us together again is feeling close, intimacy...in spite of all the fight. But even that might not save it if it happens too regularly.

I think maybe the Squares in the signs cause this.

I am a Taurus with Scorpio Moon. My boyfriend is an Aries with Aries moon.
Pretty conflicting energies...which explains all the arguments and fighting...but there's a lot of passion.

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