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Author
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Topic: insecurity or just intensity in my relationship...?
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pretty_uglybefore
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: scotland
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 12, 2010 06:40 PM
 
Hi guys.  I'm here for some help figuring myself out again! If anybody has any insight it would be really helpful to hear your thoughts. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and possibly a couple of you may remember I posted once or twice asking for advice on the situation, as we were a bit complicated when things started off. I was dealing with some emotional insecurites and issues that I've had since I was 16 and my last proper relationship(six years ago), and it was really difficult letting those things go but I believe I have learned to trust again through my lovely boyfriend's kindness and support. I'm so happy right now but recently I've just felt so panicky and anxiety ridden again. It's not through anything he's doing... we've just finished uni and I've been pretty stressed with finding a flat, job, whether I'd pass uni... lots of things in short. So that could definitely be adding to it.
But the thing is, I just miss my boyfriend so much when I'm not with him. He's a real mixture of Earth & Air (Cappy sun, Virgo ascendant, but Gemini moon and Aquarius venus). whereas I on the other hand am mostly Water & Earth.
he's lovely and i know he cares about me just as much as i do him but we have different natural, reactive ways of showing it. anyway, like i said, i miss him to the point of just being so sad and have this aching feeling whenever i'm not with him. i know it's natural to miss someone who you love, but i wish i could just enjoy whatever else i was doing, and miss him, but not to the point of almost crying when i think about it sometimes. does it seem like this is just the remnants of my issues which i need to work through or do you think it's just something to do with our particular relationship?
i know this is quite a long and complicated topic but i just had to put it out there to see if any of you had any thoughts.
thanks in advance for anyone's help. here's our charts:
me...
 him...  synastry...  IP: Logged |
Taurean_Scorpion
Knowflake Posts: 123
From: Santa Monica, CA
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 12, 2010 06:54 PM
Do you mean you feel sad whenever he is not with you? Or do you mean when he's out of town?
I think that maybe if it's the first, then it's not the intensity but you might be very dependent on him. I also think it's a combination of dependency and trust. If you had trust issues in your last relationship, you're very likely to feel anxious in this relationship.
I have trust issues myself, and being mostly earth and water like you, I can relate. The best thing for you to do at this time is to openly talk to your boyfriend about it.
In my relationship, we have different ways of showing we care for each other too, as we are different people, but I can tell by the way he treats me and how he acts in front of people when he is with me that he loves me.
I guess when it comes down to it, it's insecurity. IP: Logged |
MysticMelody
Moderator Posts: 743
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted June 13, 2010 11:18 PM
Love relationships are SO hard. I understand completely and that is the very reason I am often RELIEVED I am not in a close intimate relationship with a man... it seems you miss them when they are gone to the point of anxiety at times (for many reasons, some healthy, some not so) but then you can be in a relationship and miss them even when they are right there. And that's the loneliest feeling of them all. T.S. had some good advice... but when you bare your soul, make sure to be extra careful to explain that he doesn't have to be defensive and you aren't blaming him... just sharing emotional/feelings and that he isn't doing anything wrong etc. *sigh... good luck!! ♥
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seeleah
Knowflake Posts: 40
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted June 18, 2010 08:02 AM
I am far from an expert, but here are somethings that stand out in this synastry chart of yours. First off, it looks like you got a neptune conjunct sun..so very dreamy, a kind of unconditional/higher love thing going on here, a dream like connection. I also notice that your nodes are conjunct which could be something and one of your suns is close to the conjunction. I also noticed that someone's uranus is real close to their saturn, which can cause (I would imagine) a feeling of wanting to be together, exciting but a bit unstable. Idk...like I said not an expert but that would explain some of the intensity of "are we together, where are you what is going on?" uranus can be like that and with it sooo close to the saturn (has to do with comittiment and duty) it could be affecting you in that way, but again not an expert! good luck. IP: Logged |
seeleah
Knowflake Posts: 40
From: kokomo, IN, USA
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted June 18, 2010 08:04 AM
oh oh oh! and also a pluto square venus huh? yeah, that would add alot of intensity and to that feeling IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 93
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted June 19, 2010 03:30 AM
His moon isn't aspected at all??
Doesn't that mean he won't be really emotionally attached to you?
Oh and ^ nodes conjuncting means nothing lol, people born around the same year or so have their nodes really close together.
I really don't see anything in your synastry that screams intensity o_O except the venus square pluto (though you would need to see how many orbs) since he's the pluto, it'll mean he has the upper hand =X)
and ^ the uranus and saturn orb is pretty wide. And it's not a major aspect actually.
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pretty_uglybefore
Knowflake Posts: 54
From: scotland
Registered: Jun 2009
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posted June 20, 2010 05:45 PM
Hi, thanks for your replies. I haven't been online for a while, sorry. on astro.com it tells me we have Pluto trine Venus? is this wrong? i'm still a bit of a novice but trying to learn. i would hope he is emotionally attached to me... we have been in eachothers lives for four years and he tells me how much i mean to him and how special i am to him. he is not one for saying things he doesn't mean. but hey. maybe it's just me? when you say his moon isn't aspected, astro,com tells me we have lots of aspects in our synastry...? moon trine mars, moon square pluto, moon square ascendant etc... i'm a bit confused! thanks for your reply taurean_scorpian, i am completely able to have a nice time and be happy when i'm without him, i just think about him a lot and miss him lots. me and my boyfriend talk a lot about it, he always knows if i'm feeling upset or insecure even if i think myself i'm just being silly... i just seem to be a bundle of emotions!!! ha. but he is very caring and accepting of that about me. it's nice. x IP: Logged |
HappyCap
Knowflake Posts: 25
From: MN, USA
Registered: May 2010
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posted June 22, 2010 10:19 AM
That's a cap for ya :P We may lack flamboyant passion but value relationships that has withstood hardship and testing. If you feel like no one has done anything wrong then its easy to say you have nothing to worry about and should just feel more secure about it ------------------
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong. IP: Logged | |
Lindaland
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