posted June 29, 2010 08:15 AM
yesterday, several things came to a head for me in regards to my failed marriage. My ex and I got into a ridiculous fight that lasted all day long, basically about him wanting me to admit that I had an affair on him. What ended up happening was, I developed feelings for someone else outside the marriage. Came clean to everyone involved, said I needed time to try to work things out with my ex...but when I saw he wasn't going to drop it and was using it to guilt trip me, I knew it was over, so I left. The thing is, I didn't look for this experience to happen. I am not completely sure why it happened.When I have talked to other pple about it, the only thing that kept coming up was that I was refusing to leave a marriage that was making me physically ill and depressed...and that things weren't going to change.
He wanted me to admit to having an affair. I told him I can't admit to having something I never did, an emotional affair is about as far as this situation went, I didn't even meet this person in the physical until I was already moved out, filed for divorce and the divorce was going to be final in 2 weeks. My ex was already dating people by then, even before I had the chance to leave the house!
I finally told him yesterday that I am done with him bringing up the past. That our divorce was final in March, and that is that..it is done and it is over and I wasn't going to let him use this against me anymore. it was time to move on!
It felt so good to stand up for myself about this. He has been emotionally manipulating pple and me in our lives for awhile about this, I remember him telling me that some of our friends would be mine and some would be his. I remember telling him that friends weren't to be divided like items in a divorce decree and he laughed at me. It felt so good to say enough!
This lunar eclipse was big for us, it opposed my natal moon and conjunct his! I can finally say that I am done being manipulated by him anymore, and that I don't feel sorry for my decision, I was right...he wouldn't of let go..he never has with people in the past. He prided himself on holding grudges even though I begged him to drop stuff for the sake of peace. I feel good that I avoided beinga a prisoner of guilt for the rest of my life for a situation that never would have happened had he been working on our marriage like we were supposed to be doing in counseling instead of dodging every attempt. It feels good to know that I am finally 100% at peace with my decision, it feels good to let go. Thank you lunar eclipse...
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
posted June 29, 2010 08:15 AM
posted June 29, 2010 09:55 AM
posted July 02, 2010 09:27 AM