|
Author
|
Topic: Men are such Funny Creatures
|
Nephthys
Moderator Posts: 577
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 16, 2010 11:56 AM
 
I am slowly coming to the conclusion that it is impossible to be just plutonic friends with a male without him end up liking me at some point.  I can't be my friendly, happy go lucky self without it being taken as flirting, or they think I am interested in them? I love to have intelligent conversation and/or speak/converse about things of common interest.........and then they end up thinking I am INTERESTED in them........or they get INTERESTED in me........when I just want to be friends.......... Do men have no desire to be just friends with a woman? The receptionist at my work who is in her 70's said "All men are dogs.......they will hump any chance they get"......... and I replied, "Yeah, well, most of them......but there are a few who believe in making love"..... And then I told her that is an insult to dogs, considering we are both dog/animal lovers. What do you guys think, can male/female ever be just friends without one end up having romantic interest in the other?  IP: Logged |
Peri
Knowflake Posts: 1263
From: 49N35 34E34
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 16, 2010 12:05 PM
Do you mean 'plutonic' or platonic friends? Dr. Freud would me amused methinks!  well, it is quite rare but in my opinion, yes, it is possible to have a male/female friendship without any romantic or sexual interest. IP: Logged |
Yin
Knowflake Posts: 1883
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 16, 2010 12:08 PM
My answer will have to be "maybe". Usually some effort is required to maintain a strictly platonic friendship. I believe it is easier for women than men to do this. Feelings always develop, it's whether you act on them or not. See this thread: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/003456.html IP: Logged |
Nephthys
Moderator Posts: 577
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 16, 2010 12:26 PM
hee hee I meant Platonic......but there you go.......Pluto.......  Yin, I do remember that thread, and the same issue was there........they were just friends but she had a romantic interest in him........... quote:
Feelings always develop, it's whether you act on them or not
So then your answer would be no, men and women can't be just friends without one having a romantic interest in the other. IP: Logged |
Yin
Knowflake Posts: 1883
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 16, 2010 12:35 PM
Yes, but feelings develop and also disappear over time especially if the two people make a decision to work it out as friends and have the strength to do so. So, I said "no" in AG's thread, but now I'm not so sure, hence the "maybe".I don't see developing feelings as a problem. It happens, we can't control our humanity THAT much. The question is: What do you do after admitting your human frailty to yourself and others? Do you spiral into impulsive behavior or do you take the higher road? The first step is to recognize that it is human nature to fall in love/ develop feelings/ be attracted to someone. And that's OK. We can CHOOSE whether to act on it out or not. IP: Logged |
BlueTopaz124
Knowflake Posts: 187
From: Portland, OR, USA
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 16, 2010 11:01 PM
Nephthys, the same with me. I'm naturally friendly to everyone and guys especially think I'm interested. It's just conversation!! My natural Sag sunny self just doing what's natural for me. Frustratng because their ego turns it into something you never intended and it ruins things.The hard part is when they continue to think/act like you're interested and they end up playing a cat and mouse chase game when you were never interested in the first place. There is a guy I work with who has been doing this the past six months. I think all he wants an ego boost. IP: Logged |
Virgo-AriesArtist
Knowflake Posts: 82
From: Royal Oak, MI USA
Registered: Jun 2009
|
posted August 17, 2010 08:02 AM
Blue Topaz,What exactly do you mean by "playing a cat and mouse game"? What does the guy get out of doing so when there's no chance you'll get together with him? Is it really all ego? IP: Logged |
Nephthys
Moderator Posts: 577
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 17, 2010 11:23 AM
I understand what you mean, Blue........ *sigh* Like I say.......men are such funny creatures!!! LOL  IP: Logged |
hippichick
Knowflake Posts: 446
From:
Registered: May 2009
|
posted August 19, 2010 08:47 AM
NephI have always had more male friends than female, since my teenage years. And sometimes I prefer the company of a male friend to a female, depends on what is going on in my life. So my answer is yes, however, it takes a man who is very centered and in touch with himself and it takes age and maturity. Men are hunters by nature and testosterone never goes away, and a mautre man would respect a lady's decision to be friends and nothing else, even if he wanted something more. I still have many male friends, we flirt, and I know some of them would, ah...well you know do what, in a heartbeat, but they respect me enough to leave it at kindly flirting. t~~~ IP: Logged |
katatonic
Knowflake Posts: 4875
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 19, 2010 10:33 AM
plenty of people have this problem. i have had it myself...but it is possible to be friends with the opposite sex without getting your sexual nature entangled. i know plenty of men whose minds and characters i enjoy who don't attract me physically in the slightest. and if they do find me attractive they mostly have kept it to themselves... IP: Logged |
Nephthys
Moderator Posts: 577
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 19, 2010 11:33 AM
Hippi  to everything you said. quote:
And sometimes I prefer the company of a male friend to a female, depends on what is going on in my life
Me too, it doesn't depend on the sex, I enjoy talking to different people about a myriad of different subjects, so whether they are male/female I really enjoy having a male friend if that is what he happens to be....... Kat: quote:
i know plenty of men whose minds and characters i enjoy who don't attract me physically in the slightest
Exactly! I've talked to a few people about this in the past few days and one friend told me she feels it is only possible for male/female to be friends without the male ever having intentions for the female in 1 circumstance: if he is gay. Otherwise, she said men will always entertain the idea of the possibility of more than friends. I asked a male friend (who happens to be a famous jeans designer, artist, and filmmaker) and he said it depends on how attractive the 2 people are. If people are attractive it is hard not to be attracted to one another. However, there are people who some people find very attractive and they do nothing for me.......hence I wouldn't want to be with them romantically. IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Moderator Posts: 3872
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
|
posted August 22, 2010 01:36 AM
I replied to that other thread with a yes.And while it's true that my deceased best friend and I never had any kind of romance, I am thinking that probably the initial draw on the first meeting could of been a physical attraction.
We are just humans after all.. But, once we really got to know one another, it was totally obvious that there was nothing there but a deep abiding love and friendship. I knew for sure that this was so one time when I was about.. oh, I guess 21 or 22, and I had drank way too much.. upset over some guy as I recall, anyway, I threw up all over myself and my friends car, and he brought me to my mom's house, carried me inside, took off my clothes and gave me a bath.
Nothing happened.
When I woke up in the morning, my clothes had been hand washed and were hanging in the shower.
My friend was asleep on the floor next to my bed. So, see it's possible. Maybe not probable, but at least possible, and I'm so fortunate for the 25 years I had on this Earth with him.  IP: Logged |
Lioness
Knowflake Posts: 502
From:
Registered: Mar 2010
|
posted August 23, 2010 03:44 PM
I personally have had alot of platonic male friends.. I actually have more male friends than female friends.. Yes sometimes there is an attraction, yet that line is not crossed. I also have ex's that have become very dear friends... I have one ex from 20 years ago, that we are still friends to this day.. I even go to his family parties and what not.. IP: Logged |
Nephthys
Moderator Posts: 577
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 23, 2010 03:58 PM
I think some of you are missing my point. quote:
What do you guys think, can male/female ever be just friends without one end up having romantic interest in the other?
I'm not talking about the "decision" to be "only friends", I'm talking about both sides having only plutonic interest in the other, meaning the male and the female both have NO interest EVER of being romantically involved with the other. Example: Female A is only friends with Male B.......has no physical or romantic attraction to Male B. Male B is only friends with Female A and has no physical or romantic attraction to Female A. IP: Logged |
Nephthys
Moderator Posts: 577
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 23, 2010 07:06 PM
I just realized my last post probably sounds very scientific but I can't help it as I have a Biology degree and this is how we write about studies.  IP: Logged |
GypseeWind
Moderator Posts: 3872
From: Dayton,Ohio USA
Registered: May 2009
|
posted August 23, 2010 08:03 PM
I caught it. I was saying that I had no physical attraction/romantic interest in him, ever, but possibly (I'm not sure, I can only speculate since he's passed away) that he at one time, for a very short time, could of felt something akin to attraction towards me.If that seems ambiguous, I don't intend to..
hmm..
OK, I think it's in our nature to seek out a mate, whether consciously or not, so perhaps male/female friendships do have to be a decision, not an immediate thingy. If that is clear as mud, just excuse me, I've been having some neptune issues lately. I feel like I'm speaking 'Fish'. heh. IP: Logged |
Nephthys
Moderator Posts: 577
From: California
Registered: Apr 2009
|
posted August 24, 2010 12:55 PM
I meant platonic  quote:
OK, I think it's in our nature to seek out a mate, whether consciously or not, so perhaps male/female friendships do have to be a decision
Gypsee, this was clear to me!!!  IP: Logged |
Lindaland
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! 
