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Author Topic:   Is Taurus Man Really In Love?
Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 11:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I am a Pisces woman involved with a Taurus man. We met online 5 months ago and right from the start we clicked. I have played the Taurus hot and cold game with him, as well as having gone through the “disappearing” acts (never more than 5 days tops, not the norm), and have still managed to get navigate these “bumps” in the road with him without harsh words or a major upheaval of the vibe between us. I make sure that I give him the time he needs to “process” his feelings about me/us and never push or nag him. Whenever he has done or said something I felt was a bit on the selfish or insensitive side to my POV I have immediately addressed the issue in a calm and rational manner (no yelling, accusations, threats, etc.) with him and he in turn has always apologized with complete sincerity. The same applies to me only less. LOL

We are in an LDR and have yet to engage in physical intimacy although we are currently making arrangements to finally have our first face-to face meeting (we have been twice thwarted due to our work schedules). I am patient, loving, kind and respectful of him (and vice versa). We give each other our space and for the most part seem to be putting in the effort it takes to make things work between us even under the hardship that an LDR brings. Neither one of us is married or has children.
Soon after we connected, he stated that he was falling in love with me (I was only thinking friendship at this time) and since then he has been the one to state intentions of our one day marrying, having children (he told me he wanted me to be the mother of his children) and sharing a life. He consistently tells me he loves me and has shown only minor shades of possessiveness that is more endearing than troublesome for now. Of course as a Pisces I have swooned all over this and then some. LOL

But I can’t deny moments of insecurity due to the LDR and all that I have read about Taurus men sexually, with even some of them being consumed by their more baser instincts, i.e. cheating, multiple relationships at a time, etc. Couple this with my being unable to fulfill that physical need with him thus far and I admittedly find myself feeling just a little insecure. He is supposedly about to make a major change in his life that involves his moving closer to me with the ultimate goal of permanently moving to where I am (his words). I do love him and I believe he loves me too. I just have concerns about the distance and if the lack of physical contact until we can be together will be too much for him to bear no matter how faithful he might want to be. He’s a man with needs that I presently cannot fulfill and it kills me. Can he really be so sure of his feelings for me so soon given what they say about Taurus’ taking a long time to commit or am I just looking for “demons” that aren’t really there?

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bunnies
Knowflake

Posts: 316
From: u.k
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 28, 2010 01:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for bunnies     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Personally myself I don't even think you can consider yourself "in a relationship" until you have actually met.
You are just people who talk online.
He could be and say anything he wanted if you haven't seen him.
It might not even be him you are seeing.

And I would be especially concerned about a man who says at this stage of the game that he wants you to have his children.
How could he possibly know that?
How do you know he's not living with someone and just getting his rocks off talking to you online? Hence the cancelled meetings.
It happens....all the time. All the flippin' time.
Don't want to ruin your illusions but at this moment that is exactly what they are.
Please be careful.
Take it slowly and don't promise anything you might not want to deliver when you actually do meet.

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 2713
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 28, 2010 01:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was thinking most of what bunnies said above, but I know of one exception: a happily married Pisces and Aquarius who met online, and talked regularly through Skype. (They had mutual friends on the same site, were engaged before they met in person, and married later that year. She's now pregnant with their first child.)

But you do need to be careful. I'm more likely to meet someone online, given my circumstances (unless I meet someone whilst walking around here), and I would be freaked out by talk of marrying someone without having met in person, or time spent around each other every day.

Cancelled meetings could also be happening, because it's easy for some to maintain that distance; it's safe, if you know what I mean. (It isn't fully committing to someone who's right there, every day.)

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 03:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for the replies. I don't have my head too far in the clouds. I am well aware that this could all be an elaborate game and I am playing along to see what he really wants from me, i.e., just someone to pass the time away with on a head trip. From what I have read about most Taurus they aren't into head games so something like this would seem "rare" just for kicks but then you NEVER know about people's true motives. For now I am giving this guy enough rope to hang himself with if that is to be the end game where all this is going. Funny how when I have given him an out (and even expressed a lot of the things you both mentioned)to experience what he claims he wants with me he always says he wants those things but in a serious relationship. Again, I am not blinded by the charm (I have already been done in by a Taurus many years ago) but the game is interesting if nothing else.

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 03:14 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Also wanted to add that the first cancelled meeting was due to me not him in that the timing was off and his being a bit selfish and not checking with me first before making plans, caused me to have to say no to his wanting to be with me (this was several months ago). The second only just came up in that he wasn't sure if he would be able to make the meeting we had planned and because it was a greater chance of him not making it due to work obligations, I called this time off as well with his understanding and stating he would feel bad if he couldn't make it as planned.

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Lara
unregistered
posted October 28, 2010 03:37 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Does he at least live in the USA (same country as you)?
or do you have cultural differences too.

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 03:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He lives here. He's being relocated for a job assignment for several months but when that is concluded he said he is looking to move her to California to be with me permanently. Again, who really knows what is going on and obviously since we have the face-to-face issue right now between us it is anybody's guess where things are really heading or where they will end up. I will say that aside from all the "romantic" stuff we genuinely do have a connection and at the very least we might end up being the best of friends. We shall see.

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 03:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I really do appreciate all the objectivity and good advice you all have taken the time to give.

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Lara
unregistered
posted October 28, 2010 03:56 PM           Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ok, so you've never met and yet he said already that he is moving to live with you permanently at some point?
Does that not concern you?

I hate to say but yet again agree with Bunnies (it happens a lot cos she's just so darn sensible!!!)
Bunnies is cool and savvy so listen to every word of her post cos my warning bells are going ding-a-ling and i'm only reading this 3rd party.

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 04:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have taken every single word Bunnies has said to heart. I won't do anything that compromises my mental or physical well being even with the emotional side of myself being engaged. When and/or if we ever do meet and I can see this person's eyes and "feel" whether or not they are "real" is the point from which anything potentially meaningful could ever begin.

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grayblue
Newflake

Posts: 12
From: Orlando, FL, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 05:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for grayblue     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Throwing my 2 cents here -- I have been in two LDR. One that lead nowhere, the other I was married to for 7 years. So, yes they can work, but you need to meet on a somewhat regular basis for it to work even before one makes the commitment to move. My ex came to see me three times and I flew to see him twice in the year that we were apart.
Since I had been in that first LDR and got pretty hurt by it (btw, I am a Taurus, he was Pisces!) I kept my relationship with my ex as "casual" and made it clear to him that I would do whatever I felt like until we were living together and had decided to be together.
The thing is, Taurus are physical people. I do have a Pisces moon so I can be overly emotional too but when it comes down to it, I need someone there by my side. So yeah, I understand your concern.
I feel like Taurus won't be unfaithful unless something is lacking. We like the security of a steady relationship and unless it is unfulfilling, I wouldn't worry.

My two cents - have a talk to him, and take this relationship lightly until one of you is willing to take a step into being together.

G

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SagGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 29
From: Canada
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 05:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SagGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have to disagree with most of the posts here

I don't think your feelings or situation is just an illusion. Talking to someone online daily (and/or via phone and webcam) is a legitimate way to get to know someone. Because you don't have that physical aspect yet, I think you can really get to know someone on a deeper level and have the sort of conversations that you might not have had on a date, in a restaurant, for example.

Yes, there are con-men out there and we have to be careful but sorry to burst everyone's bubble... con-men are not exclusive to the online world. If someone is running a game on you and has bad intentions, they can do it just as easily in person as they can online.

One of my best friends IN THE WORLD is someone I met online and have yet to meet in person. Two years of daily talking, he has truly become one of the most important people in my life. I think you can tell a lot about a person (or guy) that spends SO MUCH time talking to you, being there for you, listening and helping you, while knowing that he won't be getting anything out of you. I can count on one hand the number of guys I know like that. Oh, and mines a Taurus too by the way

Also, I'm NOT surprised that after you canceled the first meeting, he did not bring it up for a few months. That sounds like my Taurus friend as well. I *think* he has feelings for me and has mentioned wanting to meet me several times. Every time I turn him down or somewhat 'cancel', he instantly backs off and doesn't bring it up for a while. The interesting thing is that he doesn't act differently with me or hold any grudges towards me--still there for me, as dependable as always. Taurus men are known to be a little reserved with their feelings when it comes to words but they show you how they feel with the things they do. They are very sensible as well as patient and persistent when it comes to something/someone they want. If he's hanging in there and putting time into you... talking to you, getting to know you, making plans with you, being that shoulder for you, he has probably already fallen for you.

Anyhow, I don't see anything wrong with what you are doing and I don't doubt the feelings you have for each other. Keep the blinders away but don't be too quick to write all of this off. Take it day by day and let his actions speak for themselves.

Oh and if you still can't meet in person yet, just make sure you chat via webcam with him... it's a great substitute to be able to see his eyes, his expressions, etc... when he talks with you.

Good luck to you

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 2713
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 28, 2010 05:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't think getting to know someone online is an illusion, either - far from it. My mother, other people I know, and I have all had experiences as friends or in romantic relationships, that were bad.

I just know that I want more when it comes down to romantic relationships - you need to be around someone day in and day out, to make sure that you can stand to be around each other that much, if you plan to be in the future.

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SagGirl
Knowflake

Posts: 29
From: Canada
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 06:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SagGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree, teasel! A physical/romantic relationship is absolutely necessary at some point (hopefully sooner than later). I do think that LDR (chat, webcam, phone, etc) is a good building block into a full-on relationship though. It's a great way to get to know someone and see if there is an emotional, mental and intellectual connection there.

...Especially for someone like me: I tend to get turned off easily and have often ran before the relationship even started. I find that this way allows me to build a little bit of an emotional connection to the person so that when the physical part arrives, I might not be so quick to flee. Plus, it's also nice to see what this person is about and how long they stick around without sex or any of that other good stuff you get when you see each other face to face. Nice little test for them lol

But it's definitely not for everyone. I can surely understand that.

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 07:35 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
More great input. Thanks so much. Just to give you an update...My Taurus contacted me today and confirmed that he will definitely be coming out to see me in December and seemed really excited about it. He also said that he agreed to the temporary move for his job because it put him that much closer to me for down line when he could actually move to my state. I was really surprised by this because he was very adamant in one of our talks about not moving from his home now where all his friends and family are. Since Taurus hate change in my mind this is a huge undertaking for him. At least now we have set plan to meet and spend some quality face-to-face time together to actually see if we connect like we do in all the other mediums we use to communicate.

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 28, 2010 07:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh and SagGirl...my best friend in the world I met online and didn't meet her for two years and when we did we both cried. When people saw us together they assumed we were sisters in real life. LOL We even favor one another.

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teasel
Knowflake

Posts: 2713
From: Ohio
Registered: Apr 2009

posted October 28, 2010 09:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for teasel     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
SagGirl, I'm the same way. I mentioned something like that in Jane's thread about people 'wooing' you, or treating you in the way your Venus might want to be treated.

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Diana
Knowflake

Posts: 2359
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted October 28, 2010 09:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Make sure you do a background check. He could be married (happens more than you think) or have some criminal past that you'd be better off knowing now. I knew a taurus man who was totally into the illusion of love without wanting a "real" relationship. He had a ton of taurus planets (triple taurus!). He did have nep in the 7th, though. Not saying your guy is like that, but you can't go by "oh, he's a taurus, so he isn't about that, because they are so grounded." It also sounds like you are making an awful lot of appeasements for him and you allude he doesn't for you and you haven't even met yet. I'd be careful of that.

Good luck!

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 29, 2010 11:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks for the input Diana.

I worked for an investigative firm for 9 years so the background check is covered. I actually don’t see where I am making a lot of appeasements in that he is the one who is uprooting his life (not specifically for me but with me in mind in the overall scheme of things) and is the one coming to me after I had been the one to more or less be the reason we have yet to meet in the first place. Yesterday he opened up to me on a whole other level and shared things with me about himself and his plans that I was actually surprised by given his private nature and feeling secure enough to share with not just me but with anyone who isn’t a close family member or friend. We had been mutually out of touch for a few days (me doing my thing and he doing his) and he was the one who not only initiated the contact but when the time came for me to go (we had been talking for several hours) he wouldn’t let me. LOL

Also wanted to add, the very first week I jumped back into the dating scene via the online world (it had been a really long time for me) the first guy I caught feelings for was exactly as many here have warned me about…a bona fide con artist looking to get money and who knows what else out of me. In fact, this particular guy is listed on a site devoted exclusively to both male and female con-artists in the online dating world and he had been posted on there by others for over 2 years before we came into contact. I luckily exposed his charade (although he doesn’t know how or why I dropped him like a hot potato) but after that experience and the many many men who attempted to gain my attention and affection afterward for nefarious purposes (not all but way too many) I was extremely guarded and cautious with all online prospects I came into contact with again, for the very warnings I have been given here. I am in my 40s so I have been around the block and although a Piscean with an emotional nature, I can usually smell BS a mile away. The guys I spoke of before the Taurus…none of them lasted longer than a month before I cut them and the games/cons loose (and that was only 1-2, the rest were gone in a matter of days). I am not saying my Taurus still cannot be the biggest con artist of them all but the connection we have made so far makes me at least want to take the risk of finding out what the potential could be.

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Diana
Knowflake

Posts: 2359
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted October 29, 2010 02:27 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Diana     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I got you making emotional appeasements from your initial post. You basically said that unless I misunderstood.

I hear a lot of nasty stories re: online dating. People need to be careful. I heard some very high percentage, which I can't recall, are married. I knew someone (an acquaintance) who put up an ad who was married, but said he was separated/single.

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Truepi
Newflake

Posts: 10
From: San Francisco, CA, USA
Registered: Oct 2010

posted October 29, 2010 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Truepi     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Perhaps it did sound that way (emotional appeasements) but it was not my intent to express such to sound that way because it is not how I feel.

And yes, the online dating world is definitely high on the cesspool list in my opinion. I have never come into contact with so many deliberately dishonest and emotionally ruthless individuals in my life (both men and women). My first encounter with a scammer (and not all of them are from foreign countries)was to say the least an eye opening experience. After that I was picking them off me like flies and kicking them to the curb. I was very much disillusioned with finding someone "genuine" when Mr. Taurus came into the picture. He was given the same "up and down" treatment as those who had come before him but over the course of getting to know him through consistent communication and my own background checking of his words along with his actions is what led me to give him a chance because frankly, there was nothing about him that mirrored what I had previously gone through with an endless assortment of men of every age, race and background. Like I stated before, he could be the best of the best when it comes to cons but based on months and months of my carefully observing and analyzing everything he has said to me in search of the lies and dishonesty I met with before, I am willing enough to take the chance that he might be for real. But again, the concern is greatly appreciated.

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MysticMelody
Moderator

Posts: 1046
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted December 10, 2010 01:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for MysticMelody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Did you meet???

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