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Author Topic:   Not again!
SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 235
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted February 06, 2011 05:16 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey

Why is it, when you are happy, moved on, gennuinely gone through the pain and suffering from a break up, and moving forward does the ex who broke your heart, contact you?

Was it not enough that I told him to get out my life in September 2010 unless he could bring joy to my life. Now it is February 2011! I had an amazing weekend with a guy friend who I knew a few years back, he treated me with respect, care and made me feel great. I also met another lovely guy and we are going on a date. So I am open, happy and feeling good.

What betrayed me was my reaction to my ex talking to me. My heart stopped and my stomach went in knots. He started talking about things we did together. Perhaps he is missing me or realised it is easy to find someone to play with but to find someone who loves you is harder.

This is the 16 April 1984 (Mexico) Aries (scorpio moon).

Sparkling

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 235
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted February 07, 2011 03:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Now not heard from him for a couple of days.....

Oh dear, am getting sucked in.

Sparkling

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 235
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted February 07, 2011 03:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
DP

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Lyra
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Posts: 283
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2009

posted February 07, 2011 04:03 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lyra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmmm. My Sadge mum always claimed my Aries dad was breaking her heart when he kept coming back to her after they split up, and wondered why she allowed herself to feel that way. I (Aries) felt the same wrt a Scorp for a time but when the love was well and truly KILLED on my part and he STILL kept coming back and pestering me...I just didn't answer. I always keep my phone on silent btw. Just to screen unwanted callers
Still, maybe you might want to adopt an Aries stance and toughly let the love die and just continue doing what you are doing, having fun with other guys etc. - don't even give this guy the time of day. Or (which may work well or not, depending) you can threaten him with harassment orders if he contacts you again. Do both. This will send the message "P*SS OFF" loudly and clearly and I guarantee you he will get bored if it persists for long enough and find something else to do. We are great fun but only for an intense short time, I'm not sure we are always such great companions, and if you have the chance to find someone better suited, then take it.

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EverEvolvingSpirit
Moderator

Posts: 862
From: A Place of Pure Love <3
Registered: Feb 2011

posted February 08, 2011 09:56 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for EverEvolvingSpirit     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My ex husband was an Aries sun Scorpio moon. He tried to get back together with me for 3 years after the break up, followed by hating me for not getting back together with him.

Funny thing is, we'd already broke up and tried again and broke up again LoL and I was tired. I wanted to keep my family together, but not sacrifice my happiness.

In conclusion, DON'T get sucked back in. Nine times out of ten it's the same sh*t, different day. You can have that same butterfly feeling, passion ad intensity with a man that will love and respect you for who you are

to you!

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 235
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted February 08, 2011 10:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Dear both

THANK YOU- for keeping me strong to believe there is something better....He is almost like a toxic drug to me, I became clean and moving on and there he is again, tempting me. It surprises me that these aries try to get back together? Is it the chase and needing the last word? Or is it gennuine, they screw up and realise later?

I am a saggie with a good heart. Leo moon and gentle libra venus and mars. I cannot handle the scorpio and fire energy. It destroys me...

Sparkling

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Lyra
Knowflake

Posts: 283
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2009

posted February 09, 2011 09:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lyra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think we want to recapture the feeling we had when we were first in love and we can't always accept that feeling's changed - which is why we keep trying. We still hold that romantic ideal in our hearts.
It could also be that the sex was good from our point of view (even if not from yours). If it WAS good, you may have a tough time getting rid of us, if not too much water has flowed under the bridge.
Thirdly, we actually ENJOY pestering people. DOn't ask me why, we just do. Think of the pester power of the infant/ toddler.
And fourthly, we're jealous and possessive by and large, and we can't bear to think of anyone else being with you. We might accept it, but we won't like it. We want you all to ourselves.
My Aries Dad still goes round to my Saggie mom and does things to help her. I can't understand it at all - she doesn't even want him. Actually in their case SHE was the one doing the abusing, as I can't imagine what value he got out of the relationship - but he still goes back for more. The man's mad.

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Lucia23
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Posts: 2315
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Registered: Apr 2009

posted February 09, 2011 12:22 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aw Lyra, I love Arieses so much. It's something about their pure sense of romance.

My Aries left me and he never even wanted to try to talk to me again. (I also left him alone, figuring, He's an Aries Sun-Mars-Mercury man, if he wants me at all he'll be in touch.) It broke and is still breaking my heart, and if he were a Cancer or something I might think he was just being wimpy or ambivalent. I have to assume he didn't have any feelings for me. But then I ran into him on the street and he seemed sad and wistful and overwhelmed with feeling. But then he still never contacted me after that. It's the WORST feeling. Even if he'd just called me once or twice after, seemed to have any mixed feelings...

It may be heartbreaking to have an Aries come back, but, it's more heartbreaking, and sooo ego-breaking, to have him not come back. My heart might heal (probably not to be in love like that again, but to be gentle with puppies and orphans or something), but my ego I think is broken forever.

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EverEvolvingSpirit
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Posts: 862
From: A Place of Pure Love <3
Registered: Feb 2011

posted February 09, 2011 02:59 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for EverEvolvingSpirit     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
[QUOTE]Originally posted by SparklingSag:
[b]Dear both

THANK YOU- for keeping me strong to believe there is something better....He is almost like a toxic drug to me, I became clean and moving on and there he is again, tempting me. It surprises me that these aries try to get back together? Is it the chase and needing the last word? Or is it gennuine, they screw up and realise later?</b>

I think it's a combination of the two.

<b>I am a saggie with a good heart. Leo moon and gentle libra venus and mars. I cannot handle the scorpio and fire energy. It destroys me...</b>

I have Libra Mars too, I feel like it weakens me

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motyogo
Newflake

Posts: 22
From:
Registered: Jan 2011

posted February 09, 2011 04:26 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for motyogo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't know how much help this will be to you, probably not a lot, but this is all I know. I have my Sun-Venus-Mars-Mercury in Aries, Moon in Cancer, and am dating a Sag...

In my relationships, if someone I had had feelings for has turned out to be a weak or nasty character, someone who has disappointed me greatly, I can turn off my feelings like a tap. They might as well have ceased to exist for all that I'm concerned, no second thoughts. I know that other people don't find this easy to do and I am grateful that I do.

I am also very straightforward with my basic emotions. However, I am very vulnerable at heart. This means that if I really fall in love with someone, I actually find it extremely difficult to let them know just how important they are to me, how deeply I feel. And if someone signals that they aren't interested, or if I think that there is a good chance of rejection, I would never let them know if I have feelings for them, much less pursue them. (Lucia, if your ex looked wistful, I wouldn't rule out that they have feelings for you just because he is Aries and hasn't let you know directly.)

I have stayed good friends with my exes, so in the OP's case, someone with my personality may well just mean to scope out if it's safe to re-establish friendship, without necessarily wanting to get together.

Lastly: I am also vain, and there is an element of desiring control. (I have a Pluto aspect in there.) I do feel much more comfortable knowing that others are attracted to me - even wanting them to be attracted to me and wanting confirmation - than allowing myself to feel attracted to others. That doesn't necessarily mean that I'd actually entertain the thought of a relationship with them. (Nor do I want them to suffer, that would be horrid. Yes there is some contradiction in there.)

HTH, and good luck!

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Lucia23
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Posts: 2315
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posted February 09, 2011 04:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
In my relationships, if someone I had had feelings for has turned out to be a weak or nasty character, someone who has disappointed me greatly, I can turn off my feelings like a tap.

Motyogo, I think this is what happened with my Aries, and that's why after we broke up, he never even gave me one phone call or text message like "I hope you are okay and did not jump off a bridge or something."

I think I disappointed him a lot. (I'm not a weak or nasty person, I hope at least he knows that.) I hurt him by not knowing what I wanted early on, he asked how I felt and I froze up. Then he spent two months pulling away from me before the breakup. I keep hoping he'll change his mind. I think an Aries won't, though.

Gah, why am I obsessing about this on someone else's thread? I guess it's because there are fiery ladies on here, I find it comforting.

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SparklingSag
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Posts: 235
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Registered: May 2009

posted February 09, 2011 04:57 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey all (sorry have been busy with work)

Lucia, don't be sorry to talking about your experiences on here too! Am happy to share.

Well, I spent last night listening to what the Aries had to say (more of what we did together, mentioning funny moments, giving me songs he knew I would like to listen to...). Tonight he wrote and said I should have been in his city tonight as there was a film festival I would love. I responded by saying I was actually having to come to his city in two weeks time for work (all true, booked weeks ago. He clammed up and didn't seem keen on that.

So I ended up feeling mildly rejected again. A mutual girlie friend of ours who knows both us commented to me that she knows he feels regret and bad for how he treated me. So then is this some exercise for him to absolve his guilt?? How does that benefit me exactly? I agree that Mars in libra can be too forgiving, loving harmony and peace as I do. Yet my lioness moon is still unforgiving towards his behaviour hence cutting him off in the first place.

Really want this to end, but there is some masochistic streak in me to explore further, even with evidence that he probably is playing me again. Or as suggested, he doesn't want me but doesn't want anyone else to have me.

Sparkling

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Lucia23
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posted February 09, 2011 09:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sparkling, I bet there is (or soon will be) someone new and exciting on the horizon who you don't have that past baggage with.

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Lyra
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Posts: 283
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2009

posted February 10, 2011 05:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lyra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well if it helps, Sparkling, Saturn's in Libra and that means us Aries are doing a lot of fence-sitting and stuff on *our* terms, rather than anyone else's.
There are two men of note in my life right now, one a Gemmy who I am just friends with but with whom I seem to have a good time, and a Sadgi who has a girlfriend, but has given me some very hot looks from time to time, and with whom I have some very *bang-on* synastry. I actually turned the tables on him at a social event whilst I was looking particularly foxy and kept a level stare all the while he was talking to me, thinking, I hope you realize how turned on I am - which he seemed initially surprised by (on a nonverbal level) but quickly recovered from, and flashed me that brilliant Venus in Scorpio smile before saying he'd have to go and circulate...
Both these guys have Moon in Aries and both push me and are very active in the social activities we do together. Don't know how anything is gonna pan out at this stage and for the moment I'm prepared to take things very slowly and nonchalantly...after 1 divorce and a few boyfriends in the last 5 years, I think I can afford to. I don't feel so much like discussing intimacy issues with possible partners - I change the subject, because I am unwilling to commit myself to one person and am instead directing my energies towards the wider society, rather than just one person. I am somewhat reluctant to open up on that front - if it "happens" for me, it has to be right. Perhaps your Aries feels the same way?
Often we can seem disinterested because we're busy and very hands-on people (Sagittarius is more philosophical and giving off a more relaxed aura - even if they're not, which is why people like them); we are also not liable to waste words. I have been called cold by Mr Ex-Scorpio because of my pragmatic and rather blunt approach; I just don't want to have to weigh EVERYTHING I say.
We are basically good people, but we can be hard to read. Basically when people see us they see someone who's dynamic, competitive and often very sexy, but other emotions are difficult to read - though you can, with practice, if you know them well enough - I can pretty much read what my Dad's thinking about other people or things, because we think along similar lines - but unless we verbalize what we're thinking, you might not always know what we're about. It's a fallacy to believe we wear our hearts on our sleeves.

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motyogo
Newflake

Posts: 22
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Registered: Jan 2011

posted February 10, 2011 04:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for motyogo     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
It's a fallacy to believe we wear our hearts on our sleeves.

Seconded. Yes we are blunt to a fault. But this doesn't mean that our hearts are an open book. It would be against my nature to pretend that I really like someone when I really do not, and vice versa; but you may not be able to say if I just want to be your friend or if I in fact love you.

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kitkat18
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Posts: 37
From: canada
Registered: Mar 2010

posted February 10, 2011 10:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kitkat18     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
He is definitely in regret and scorpio moons are so moody! My bf is a scorp moon and I feel for you.

Think of it like this, if you wanted to rekindle what you both had, then you basically need to put the fear of god into him. By giving him the vibe that you will NOT be played with. To do this, you would need to fight fire with fire, but you seem to be a gentle, easygoing spirit

This may continue to be a pattern for him and you may tire of it in the future. Scorpio moons (from my experience I have dealt with many & i have taurus moon) can be difficult to deal with as the emotions are turbulent & moody. They also have a hard time letting go completely of the past. Just think of what you want, and how you deserve to be treated, your leo moon will thank you!

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SparklingSag
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posted February 11, 2011 04:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Hi All

Thank you all for your thoughts and words, it has really supported me through my confusion this past week. I’ve been busy with work so I apologise for not responding sooner.

Kitkat- I totally understand what you are saying. Fire with fire! I am a gentle fun loving soul and in the breakup last year, he became this very detached, verbally cutting person (who knew he was in the wrong for hurting/betraying me) but who did not want to apologise.I felt destroyed by this. So I cut him off and told him never to speak to me. So almost a year later, here he is. You think he is regretful? Why would he feel regret now? I walked away and perhaps somewhere within he can’t accept this. I avoided him the past couple of days. This should send a message, that whilst it was nice to chat, he doesn’t deserve my time or energy. I say this very confidently but are my actions betraying my words?

It was interesting having the previous weekend with Mr Pisces(Aries moon, venus and mars). My libra mars and venus loooveees a man to behave like a gentleman. Paying for dinner, opening doors for me, looking smart. He did all of this, and it made my leo moon happy too. He was also affectionate and intimate. Complete contrast to Mr Aries/Scorpio who often used sex as a power/ control, he used to tell me i’d want it too much or withdraw it from me. I read in Linda Goodman’s scorpio/leo relationship that this type of behaviour can make the leo person feel very rejected. Perhaps I am too light and fiery for aries/scorp combination, he also has these as his venus and mars so its like a double whammy.

All the best

Sparkling

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Lyra
Knowflake

Posts: 283
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2009

posted February 11, 2011 05:11 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lyra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well I had an Aries friend who is the same age as me, about 3 weeks older - who I told to beat it several times in the past, and who kept coming back - he was never a boyfriend, thank GOD, but tonight I got a load of text messages from him again. Actually, in all honesty, even though his English is terrible, it sounded like he was smoking something... the messages were getting more garbled by the minute.
So I felt compelled to respond with the language of a Marine...it went something along the lines of "Listen, you f-wit, stop smoking whatever it is you are smoking and get off your f-ing a$$...f- off and get the hell out of my space - LOSER!!"
God, that felt so much better!!

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SparklingSag
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Posts: 235
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted February 14, 2011 04:47 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey all

Firstly, Happy Valentines!! Spread the love and joy.

This is one of the first ever valentines that I have felt happy. The sun shone today, and I feel truly blessed to be free and single. I am not tied in a bad relationship, I am not wanting some guy I can't have.I am free.

My ex asked me tonight how was my valentines. He was fishing to see if I have someone else. I told him truthfully that I had a lovely day.

Well, all I want to end with tonight is: loving yourself is a great feeling.

Sparkling

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Lucia23
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posted February 14, 2011 05:32 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lucia23     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yay, Sparkling!!

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 235
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted March 02, 2011 03:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey all

Hope you are well.

I've been having an interesting time recently. I finally feel content and happy as I am (alone or with someone) but I do not need someone right now. I did meet up with my ex last week and talked everything through and resolved much of the hurt so that was great. Recently though, I have been approached by men (on friendly and flirtly scale). Is it something I am radiating? I am not saying I want to date but tonight on the bus home, I got chatting to a sweet guy, a journalist and we swapped business cards. I also met someone through work last week who gave me his number.

I do not mean this as a boasting message, not at all, because sometimes I am just friendly and open so this happens.

Am I crazy not take up all these offers? Or am I just OK to stay as I am, be open but also carry on as normal? Sometimes I get a sense of panic if new guys approach me.

Sparkling

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Lyra
Knowflake

Posts: 283
From: London, UK
Registered: May 2009

posted March 03, 2011 09:45 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lyra     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Uranus into Aries mid month. Plus Jupiter on his shoulder. Go figure.

Plus the planets party in Aries early next month & through to May.

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 235
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posted March 03, 2011 11:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Lyra

What do you mean? is there a party influence going on?

Sparkling

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SparklingSag
Knowflake

Posts: 235
From:
Registered: May 2009

posted March 26, 2011 06:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SparklingSag     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey all

So a little time has passed. Mr Aries and I spent the last month talking and we spent the last few days together as he wanted to see me before he heads of on a work trip for 4 weeks.

OK, so here's the thing. We talked about what was happening (the past and now) and he said he came back for me because he never wanted to leave me or walk away in the first place. He didn't want us to sleep together because he didn't want to upset or cause hurt. His Scorp moon combined with his aries sun can make him very intense, a concentrated inner intensity. I have a leo moon and saggie sun so if you push me far enough, I will also explode.

This time is different because I do not love him and i made this clear to him. We seem to have a connection though, he doesn't NOT want me in his life. I told him as long as we are honest at each step we can handle this. He is away for a bit and part of me is relieved, he takes up alot of my energy when I am with him. I can get back to concentrating about me as I AM important. I am excited cause I am moving apartment and been approached my guys recently so I will be open and do my own thing.

I am not quite sure why I am posting this but this relationship (in whatever form) creates a fog around me. His neptune/pluto hits my venus in our charts so i can see why this feeling is created. Thanks all for listening..

Sparkling

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