posted July 01, 2011 09:40 PM            

We met and started dating quite quickly. We clicked very quickly and both felt like we had known each other forever. We 'got' each other. It was very romantic for a few weeks and then he went distant. When I quizzed him about it he said he felt very strongly for me and wanted a future together but was afraid he would mess it up due to other things going on with him (he's setting up a company) and so felt we should cool it off for a bit. 

I told him I liked him alot but agreed to let him have his space. Since then we have still seen each other a couple of times a week (at his asking mostly) and continue to have this huge connection that we both agree is there. He is very controlled and keeps his hands to himself but he betrays his feelings in his looks. 

I have tried very hard to be 'just his friend' and let what will be will be but my sagittarius side is starting to get impatient and I just want to know if there is a future for us at all!! 

I really need help with how to proceed from here. I really like him and don't want to freak him out or lose him entirely. But I also want to know if I should just give up and move on. (btw I have tried but can't get my head off him!!) 

posted July 26, 2011 07:35 AM            

It has now been about a month since that post. We are still seeing each other all the time and having lots of fun.

We had a big D&M the other day where he told me how much he loves spending time with me. He said that he decided early on that he would return to the UK in March 2012 (he's from there originally and was never sure if he was going to be here long term)and if things weren't that way then it could have been different between us. He said because of this he has 'focussed on us as friends'. I told him I was still attracted to him but was happy with friendship given the circumstances. He was completely surprised that I was still interested. Men!!

I think I need to just move on given this info. I am finding it hard though as he is such a great guy and it is so rare to find such a mutual connection with someone.

posted July 27, 2011 04:51 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by Sagi-gal:
Hi cathy,

It has now been about a month since that post. We are still seeing each other all the time and having lots of fun.

We had a big D&M the other day where he told me how much he loves spending time with me. He said that he decided early on that he would return to the UK in March 2012 (he's from there originally and was never sure if he was going to be here long term)and if things weren't that way then it could have been different between us. He said because of this he has 'focussed on us as friends'. I told him I was still attracted to him but was happy with friendship given the circumstances. He was completely surprised that I was still interested. Men!!

I think I need to just move on given this info. I am finding it hard though as he is such a great guy and it is so rare to find such a mutual connection with someone.

Time will tell and if nothing else I have made an amazing friend.

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posted August 18, 2011 03:45 AM            

I would surmise he is thinking -- or brooding, depending on how you look at it. I remember IME I would want to get to the point of an issue and get it solved tout suite, but my cancer ex seemed to get a kick out of making me wait as long as possible, and by the time he decided he was ready to talk to me I was climbing the walls and hated him already haha of course, he didn't mean any of that, he was just being cautious like his nature dictated, and waiting until he felt absolutely safe to proceed.

Probably space is the best thing right now, yes it's a nightmare when you have that big unanswered question dangling above you, threatening to crash down on your head, but if you back this dude into a corner it will only make the process longer, he will retreat further, and you'll get madder.

I found my cancer ex to be easily scared, and very difficult to make feel secure -- catch 22, and that was when he trusted me explicitly. So, if you can make him feel you haven't abandoned him, without freaking him out and making him feel you are trying to manipulate him with your feelings, you should reach a natural resolution. What that will be, I can't say, but if it's not natural, it's not real, so.