posted July 08, 2011 11:00 AM            

I am have been involved with a Cancerian man for two years, we fell in love hard very fast, He lives in the USA and I live in England. We have spent many months travelling back and forth spending time together which has been blissful and on Valentines day he flew the 4000 miles between us to propose to me.

We filed immigration papers and I am due to emmigrate with my two children to be with him and his two children and marry in October, in the next two months.

Our realtionship has always been so close and loving, he has never played games with me, we have both believed we are twin flames.

However the distance has at times plagued me with insecurity, plus the giant leap I am taking to be his wife. We have often had very passionate arguments with one of us always mentioning leaving (stupid I know) we always worked them out and became even closer.

However over recent months I havent felt he has been quite as invested, he has spent more time going out, hasn't called as much or been as understanding towards me. Whnever I talked to him about this he said it was totally in my head and pointed out the ways he does still show love. Things were getting back to a really good place again.

On wednesday night I got jealous about something stupid but understandable, and broke down saying I need more support in this final stage of the moving process, and that I feel so far away. The argument became very heated and resulted in him saying he was done with us, and we are over.

That night we did end up talking calmly. I told him I don't want to lose him and that this stress is breaking me. He said he still loves me more than he ever imagined it possible to love but that the arguments are killing him. He said he would leave his talk window open in case I needed him and that he would speak to me the next day.

I wrote him a few messages to tell him I was sorry and I don't want to lose him.

The next day he emailed, was very loving. Said he thought we were like a fairytale and all he had done was think about us. He said that I had always told him to let me know if he felt unsure, and now he did. Because even though we are now at the final stage like we had always dreamed of, he fears we will take this leap and regret it, be miserable as a result of fights between us and that he just doesn't know what to do.

I wrote back and absolutley poured my heart out about everything, how feeling like there had been an emotional distance as well as physical had been too much, that I feel as though such a huge part of the burden is on me, and that all I have ever feared is losing him. I told him I would respect whatever he decided but that I didn't know how to stop being in love with him and that I want to fix this. I told him that I do believe we would work in person as we have before and all the things I'm fearing would be gone as a result of bridging the distance.

He responded quickly and said he had found my message so lovely, and he would reply properly soon he just needed some time. I told him to take all the time he needed, and he thanked me.

My question is what do I do?? I have sold most of my belongings, taken my kids out of school and taught them myself because of all the time between two countries, I've basically said goodbye to all my friends and even have my Dad paying for our wedding. My children think of him as their Dad. If he backs out now it will ruin our lives.

But mostly I love him so much I simply cannot imagine my life without him. He and the children are my world and I neve meant to hurt him, I just never realised this situation would be so hard.

He emailed me this morning saying he couldnt sleep for thinking about it all and is so torn. I haven't replied. I'm trying to give him space.

He is a Cancer with moon in virgo, Libra rising, venus and mercury in gemini and mars in Libra.

I am a Cancer with moon and mercury in cancer, Libra rising, Venus in Gemini and Mars in Libra.

posted July 08, 2011 12:47 PM            

Well I'll bet you any amount of money
He'll be coming back to you
Ooh I know there ain't no doubt about it
Sometimes life is funny
You think you're in your darkest hour
When the lights are coming on in the house of love

You've been up all night
Thinking it was over
He's been out of sight
At least for the moment
But when something this strong
Gets a hold on you
The odds are ninety-nine to one
It's got a hold on him too

[Chorus]

Now when the house is dark
And you're all alone inside
You've gotta listen to your heart
And put away your foolish pride
Though the storm is breaking
And thunder shakes the walls
Love with a firm foundation
Ain't never gonna fall

[Chorus]

Though the storm is breaking
And thunder shakes the walls
Love with a firm foundation
Ain't never gonna fall

(amy grant song)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Women's top love need is caring.... and you've said that he gives you that like crazy, even though it is long distance!! That is AWESOME!!! What a good man!!!

Men's top love need is TRUST.
You are hurting him.
DUH he loves you
DUH he wants to be with you
These are YOUR insecurities and he had insecurities too and you need to pray when you need reassurance (another female primary love need) and not just depend on him to continuously reassure you because he is going through hell feeling unloved because you don't TRUST him, yet still giving you what you need because he loves you so damn much.

You write him a note that says this is just your own insecurities going crazy and you KNOW he loves you, that he has proved that time and time again and that he has been so strong for you SO STRONG and you admire him deeply and that you are going to take some time to pray and help yourself and not put it all on him and you will be back writing in a few days. Tell him that he can write if he wants but you want to try to give you emotions a couple days to calm down so you can find your center again. Tell him you have complete faith in him, though you don't expect perfection, and he has been an amazing and loving man and you know none of this is his fault.

Then read some good books, pray, talk to people here and get your mind back without making him the only source to help you. If you do this, everything will be ok. If you keep trying to help him UNDERSTAND (primary FEMALE love need) by telling him all of your fears etc when he is also under stress and feeling like you don't TRUST him then you might create a break between the two of you due to the powerful energies at work in the sky/Universe at this time. Especially for Cancer!!!!

Breathe.

in
out
deep breaths

you love each other

read the song again.

posted July 08, 2011 01:18 PM            

I just want to do whatever I can to save this relationship, the thought of losing him is more than I can take.

You speak of current action in the sky, I wonder if there is anyway I can use it to my advantage here or whether I have no other choice but to be patient and understanding.