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Author
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Topic: Confused about Pisces man
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Koda1969
Newflake Posts: 11
From: Fairfax, VA, USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 12, 2011 08:48 AM
  
I'm a Libra (October 21) and I started dating a Pisces man two months ago (February 28). I've never dated a Pisces before so I'm totally confused. We met on a blind date, and from the get-go I noticed he wasn't very talkative or demonstrative. Yet, at the end of the night, he was very passionate with the kiss goodnight (lasted 3 hours!) and he continued to call or email me daily. So I sort of figured ok, he needs time to get to know me. We were intimate once, but stopped short of the "finale" due to an issue he experienced that I won't delve into.
Now, here it is two months later and I can't figure out if he's playing mind games or if he just can't do any better than take it so slow. We have not been intimate since that first (and failed) time. He never suggests things to do, it's generally me who says "want to go to dinner?" and each time, it ends with nothing. There is some intimacy in the car, but then we go our separate ways. Yet, he continues to call me daily which is why I'm confused. On the one hand, he will always choose his responsibilities for others over me (this past weekend, I didn't see him because he went to go help a friend out with yard cleanup), yet as I said, he calls daily.
This last weekend, we had dinner and during drinks afterwards he said "I have a brick wall 10 ft high around my heart, I can't make a woman happy which is why they always leave." I didn't know how to take that, almost like a challenge? When I answered "well, then why are you with me?" he said "I don't know." I ask nothing of him, I'm not wounded or in need. I have no ulterior motives. I earn a good living, have everything on my own, so I WANT to be with him. The physical chemistry is great, I really do LIKE him, but I don't know how much more I can stand of this wait and see stuff. Is this typical for Pisces or am I being played? If I finally stand up for myself and say I can't keep this up, will I scare him away? I have a friend who is in a relationship with a Pisces male and he said it took his partner THREE months to finally admit to wanting exclusivity and that he cared about him!IP: Logged |
Mysticknowflake
Knowflake Posts: 292
From: PA
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted September 13, 2011 02:58 AM
Take your heart and run for the hills! I had a very similar experience with a Pisces male and that back and forth crap, gets old fast. I'm still not sure where I stood with him and when you can't live up to there idealized expectations of you, things get worse. I was forever feeling as if I were doing something wrong, it is mind games-believe me! I was left with a heartache an ocean deep.IP: Logged |
Koda1969
Newflake Posts: 11
From: Fairfax, VA, USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 13, 2011 08:14 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Mysticknowflake:
Take your heart and run for the hills! I had a very similar experience with a Pisces male and that back and forth crap, gets old fast. I'm still not sure where I stood with him and when you can't live up to there idealized expectations of you, things get worse. I was forever feeling as if I were doing something wrong, it is mind games-believe me! I was left with a heartache an ocean deep.
Wow, thank you for the insight. I thought I was misreading things or going crazy! I don't like to try and push but this situation just seemed so confusing and like you said, I too felt like I was always doing something wrong. At this point, I'm just tired of him making no effort and I realize how stupid I seem with this waiting! Regardless of a person's sign, manners are manners and if you like someone you make an effort so my sixth sense has been bugging me on this point ever since we started dating!
IP: Logged |
DOLPHIN
Knowflake Posts: 25
From: India
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted September 13, 2011 09:54 AM
Take a reading of both of your charts and show the results to your piscean guy , It will make him decide faster about you. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 139
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted September 13, 2011 10:23 PM
I have dated 3 Pisces guys so far in my life and yes they don't seem to have a clue what they want. None of them broke my heart but their lack of insight on themselves comes off as immaturity in my eyes and this turns me off.I myself have moon in Pisces but I am a Virgo with Venus and mars in Leo and all my life I have been the type of girl that knows what she wants but for the first time ever this year I have been acting like a Pisces not knowing what I want and it was driving me crazy because is not in my character so it didn't feel good. Anyways it looks like I am slowly coming out of this and going back to been my old self, determined. There cannot be clarity without confusion but Pisces go so much with the flow that its hard for them to stand for something it seems...is like they don't attempt to even figure out what they want because they are so comfortable with going with the flow. However if you are looking for someone to just chill and relax this sign knows how to do it well  and for that I like them. IP: Logged |
DOLPHIN
Knowflake Posts: 25
From: India
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted September 14, 2011 01:02 AM
Well said amelia, As Linda has written in her SUNSIGNS .There are two kinds of fishes ,the ones who go with the flow these kind of fishes may end up doing nothing substantial in there lifes , the other kind is the fish who flows against the current of water ,these kind of fishes can make your dreams come true.
The sign of fishes is symbolised by two fishes moving in two opposite directions. One upstream (against the stream)and the other downstream (with the stream.If your pisces is the upstream kind you can be luckiest girl around.But as the rule,the upstream kind are lesser in numbers.so let astrology help you decide which kind of fish you are dealing with.Love & Light. ------------------
Imagine,Ordain & it will Manifest. IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 139
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted September 14, 2011 01:22 AM
Dolphin,I guess a good sample of fish that goes against the stream and achieves a lot because of it would be Einstein, he is Pisces but went against the stream and is now immortal but Einstein did have moon in Sag, Venus in Aries and Mars in Capricorn and jupiter in aqua so he has the imagination of Pisces, the optimism of Sag. the discipline, logic and practicality of Capricorn, the drive and stubbornness of Aries, and the progressiveness of aqua. No wonder he overcome so many odds! Thanks for pointing out that there are two types of Pisces I didn't know that Amelia IP: Logged |
Mysticknowflake
Knowflake Posts: 292
From: PA
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted September 14, 2011 02:48 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Koda1969:
Wow, thank you for the insight. I thought I was misreading things or going crazy! I don't like to try and push but this situation just seemed so confusing and like you said, I too felt like I was always doing something wrong. At this point, I'm just tired of him making no effort and I realize how stupid I seem with this waiting! Regardless of a person's sign, manners are manners and if you like someone you make an effort so my sixth sense has been bugging me on this point ever since we started dating!
There are wonderful Pisces males, my father was one. But, this guy is so like the pisces that I know, yes, listen to your instincts. You are doing nothing wrong and if he can't make up his mind, he isn't worth the wait. IP: Logged |
Koda1969
Newflake Posts: 11
From: Fairfax, VA, USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 14, 2011 07:54 AM
quote:
Originally posted by DOLPHIN:
Well said amelia, As Linda has written in her SUNSIGNS .There are two kinds of fishes ,the ones who go with the flow these kind of fishes may end up doing nothing substantial in there lifes , the other kind is the fish who flows against the current of water ,these kind of fishes can make your dreams come true.
The sign of fishes is symbolised by two fishes moving in two opposite directions. One upstream (against the stream)and the other downstream (with the stream.If your pisces is the upstream kind you can be luckiest girl around.But as the rule,the upstream kind are lesser in numbers.so let astrology help you decide which kind of fish you are dealing with.Love & Light.
That is interesting about the two kinds of fishes. In the case of this person, I definitely think he is a go with the flow type. Honestly, if all he wanted to do was chill, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I guess the problem comes in because he just doesn't TRY. He makes no effort to see me, doesn't compliment me, and at this early stage my gut is telling me get out. It's not that I need constant reassurance, but in the beginning, I think it's not crazy to expect to "know" where you stand with a person or even if they like you. I don't mean that he has to make a commitment, but at least say you like me! With each weekend that passes that he goes off and does other things than spend time with me (and doesn't even say he's sorry that he would LIKE to spend time with me) the more I know I'm being an idiot and just need to hold back. When I mentioned earlier about the weekend dinner date where he'd made the confession about not making women happy, I hadn't seen him in three weeks. He never once said it was nice to see me, and the evening turned into me listening to him tell me how negative everything and everyone was. Then, he got a sinus headache and at the end of the night, yet again nothing.
In my heart I know that I deserve better. I gave him all the space in the world, but now it's turning into me sitting and waiting for him, and at my age, I just have no desire for that. IP: Logged |
Koda1969
Newflake Posts: 11
From: Fairfax, VA, USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 14, 2011 07:57 AM
Oh, and on a secondary note, I should add that he is 50 years old. I'm 42, so it's not like we are teenagers still navigating the dating scene and finding our way. So, at my age, I would prefer a little more straighforward communication, especially from someone his age. If at 50, he still doesn't know what he wants, I fear that my trying to figure him out is just pointless.IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 284
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted September 14, 2011 08:47 PM
I only read your first post... to that I say...He is a water sign and he showed you HIS HEART. You were not strong enough to handle it? then that is your answer.
I will read more soon... IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 284
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted September 14, 2011 09:14 PM
This is a very good thread. IP: Logged |
Mysticknowflake
Knowflake Posts: 292
From: PA
Registered: Mar 2010
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posted September 15, 2011 04:15 AM
Koda, I really feel that you do deserve better and I have to disagree with you MM, even though I love and respect you much! When you read further, you will see that he never once showed her his heart. Had he been upfront and honest with her, she wouldn't be feeling this way. OMG! Koda, I can't tell you how much some of this parallels my experience. That end of the night with the headache freaked me out. The similarities astound me. IP: Logged |
Koda1969
Newflake Posts: 11
From: Fairfax, VA, USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 15, 2011 07:41 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
I only read your first post... to that I say...He is a water sign and he showed you HIS HEART. You were not strong enough to handle it? then that is your answer.
I will read more soon...
MM, I have to tell you that when he made the "confession" during drinks that one evening I started to think that maybe he was "showing me his heart" as you put it. Because of the frustration the previous weeks, I'd done more reading up on Pisces and I thought that maybe his statements were a way of seeing if I would run. The problem is, there was no follow through. It's not like he confessed his issues then said "but you get me" or anything remotely suggesting that WE had a connection. In fact, as I pointed out, his answer to why he was with me was "I don't know" and then proceeded to cut the night short with his sinus headache. As I said, this is now two months into this, and I don't feel "anything" from him. He has never once said he likes me, implied that I mattered, and in his actions, it's obvious because he calls to tell me of the things he has to do and thus NOT see me. The complete lack of intimacy seems to tell me that there is something going on there that he just won't admit to. It's like he wants to "keep me" until HE figures things out. Well, that isn't really fair to me. I'm the one waiting, and not getting anything from him, friendship, intimacy, trust, nothing. Setting signs aside, it just reeks of disrespect and I'm willing to admit, me being an idiot doormat for "waiting" like I am. At what point does HE step up and compromise and maybe TRY to be a little more forthcoming, because ultimately, it isn't all about him, right? (which is what the past two months have been)
IP: Logged |
Koda1969
Newflake Posts: 11
From: Fairfax, VA, USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 15, 2011 08:08 AM
I also wanted to add on a secondary note, and I'm not sure if it came through in my previous posts, but part of the problem is that there really isn't ANY form of intimacy in any sense (not just the sexual). When he had made that confession, for instance, he was standing next to me, but at a distance. He didn't look me in the eyes, and while saying what he did he stood back and there was a coldness to him that I can't quite describe. I've had men in the past make such confessions, but in the past it was tempered with them admitting that they liked me and were willing to take a chance with me. This included some form of intimacy, be it holding my hand, touching me, giving me a kiss, something to imply that despite their hesitation, something was drawing them in to trusting me.
In this case, nothing like that is happening. It's as if he has withdrawn completely, yet as I said, he contacts me daily. Now, I haven't heard from him in three days, so maybe finally he has decided to step up and send me the message that he's no longer interested. I haven't contacted him, nor will I.
From the beginning, he sort of made clear his issues with women and what he didn't want. For instance, he said he didn't like clingy/jealous women. Well, I work long hours so I really don't have time to play those kinds of games. I don't call him daily or bother him, nor do I assume his free time is mine, I'm always polite about his space. He said he was frustrated that many women wanted marriage and children, which he didn't want. That, too, was fine for me...My mother lives with me, so I really am not looking for a husband, and I cannot have children due to medical reasons. I'm self-sufficient and don't NEED a man, but I temper that indepedence with my feminity so that I don't come across "too" strong if that makes sense. I like being a woman, and I like when a man doesn't feel confrontational around me.
But, as I hope the crux of this comes across in this and previous posts, it is all about HIM. I seem to have no say in any of this, and he doesn't even try. He doesn't ask about my feelings or wants or needs, yet has no issue constantly barraging me with HIS wants and needs, then running away in essence when he DOES get them (i.e. the points above). As I said, I'm the one left with nothing. On our first intimate encounter, he spent the first half constantly asking me if I liked his body, his looks, etc. He wanted reassurance of his physical appearance. Yet, he never once has said anything nice to me about my looks, and I'll admit, I'm too proud to say "well, do you like me?" So, in essence, it appears (from the outside) that he is only thinking of himself. He's not thinking of me at all, because if he were even the slightest bit empathetic, he would at least once in a while attempt to either get to know me. You know, if he would just step up and say "the truth is, I like you, but I do have issues and I'm a bit nervous/worried whatever..please be patient and give me time but I do like you." I would be FINE with that, because at least then I know my effort isn't for nothing.IP: Logged |
amelia28
Knowflake Posts: 139
From: dumont, CO
Registered: Aug 2011
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posted September 15, 2011 08:33 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Koda1969:
Oh, and on a secondary note, I should add that he is 50 years old. I'm 42, so it's not like we are teenagers still navigating the dating scene and finding our way. So, at my age, I would prefer a little more straighforward communication, especially from someone his age. If at 50, he still doesn't know what he wants, I fear that my trying to figure him out is just pointless.
Hi Koda, The way you described his behavior I thought he was a teenager or a guy under 25 years of age. If he is 50 and still acting this way I don't think there is hope. The key is that he makes you feel bad and this is a sign he is not a good fit for you and that he doesn't have the relationship skills to make you happy so I would drop him. Start seeing other people, you deserve better. He is not giving you a reason for you to like him. I really don't like this guy, he sounds like a loser. YOU Deserve better!! Amelia IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 284
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted September 15, 2011 08:07 PM
Hi Koda, I know what you saying... I wasn't saying it was a "good" heart that you should be strong enough to heal. Just saying he showed you and you didn't like it, or it wasn't right, or whatever, and that is your answer. No judgement of either of you... just the observation of "not a match". We can sometimes be with someone who is not a match with a lot of extra effort. It doesn't sound like it is worth it to you! He is showing his pain and darkness and you can't or choose not deal with it for whatever reason. That's enough for me to see that is your answer. I'm an air sign with a lot of earth, so it's a dispassionate observation. I know you have a lot of feelings wrapped up with this, so sorry if my reply was cold and down to earth! IP: Logged |
Koda1969
Newflake Posts: 11
From: Fairfax, VA, USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 16, 2011 07:23 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
Hi Koda, I know what you saying... I wasn't saying it was a "good" heart that you should be strong enough to heal. Just saying he showed you and you didn't like it, or it wasn't right, or whatever, and that is your answer. No judgement of either of you... just the observation of "not a match". We can sometimes be with someone who is not a match with a lot of extra effort. It doesn't sound like it is worth it to you! He is showing his pain and darkness and you can't or choose not deal with it for whatever reason. That's enough for me to see that is your answer. I'm an air sign with a lot of earth, so it's a dispassionate observation. I know you have a lot of feelings wrapped up with this, so sorry if my reply was cold and down to earth!
Hi MM,
No your response wasn't cold, you told the truth and you are right. Ultimately, if I'm not comfortable with him, it's not a good match. He hasn't contacted me in five days at this point, so I'm fairly certain the point is moot. I think, to a degree, I was looking for reassurance that my "gut" was right, when I should have just gone with it all along. Now that he seems to have vanished, it's made the decision all the easier. If he does in fact contact me, I'm just going to politely tell him that we aren't going to work. But you were not cold, I understand your meaning completely :-) IP: Logged |
seeker3030
Knowflake Posts: 273
From: UK
Registered: Dec 2009
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posted September 16, 2011 10:29 AM
Hi Koda
I went through such confusion with a Piscean man (here's the thread http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/003970.html ) I knew last year and in fact he still returns from time to time to mess my head up a little more! We're friends now and both seeing other people but there is still an attraction which he doesn't seem to be able to let drop however I know that if we were free to act on the attraction all the action would have to come from me and no doubt I'd be left waiting and wondering all over again. All i would say is no doubt what you already know/feel - go with whatever your gut tells you and if what he's offering isn't honouring you and treating you fairly then maybe it's time to call it a day? So hard. But something I'm beginnging to learn is that you have to sometimes be brave enough to say no to things that aren't quite right in order to let in the things that are... dunno if that makes sense? Good luck x IP: Logged |
Koda1969
Newflake Posts: 11
From: Fairfax, VA, USA
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 16, 2011 03:14 PM
quote:
Originally posted by seeker3030:
Hi Koda
I went through such confusion with a Piscean man (here's the thread http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum10/HTML/003970.html ) I knew last year and in fact he still returns from time to time to mess my head up a little more! We're friends now and both seeing other people but there is still an attraction which he doesn't seem to be able to let drop however I know that if we were free to act on the attraction all the action would have to come from me and no doubt I'd be left waiting and wondering all over again. All i would say is no doubt what you already know/feel - go with whatever your gut tells you and if what he's offering isn't honouring you and treating you fairly then maybe it's time to call it a day? So hard. But something I'm beginnging to learn is that you have to sometimes be brave enough to say no to things that aren't quite right in order to let in the things that are... dunno if that makes sense? Good luck x
It makes perfect sense, and VERY true. Ultimately, we know what feels right. In this case, I was doing all the giving and really in a way teaching him to treat me so badly. Luckily, it was just two wasted months. He still hasn't contacted me, so I'm fairly certain he is "gone" and I actually do not want to even try to rekindle anything. Ironically, I met an Aries yesterday that in just 2 days, has stepped up to the plate and I'm excited about dating him. He talks to me, compliments me, steps up and is communicative. Exact opposite of the past two months, this Aries made it known from the get-go that he REALLY liked me, and made a joke that he would beat anybody who tried to steal me away! LOL I don't want to jinx it, but the vibes are really good! (fingers crossed) IP: Logged |
poicelle
Newflake Posts: 1
From:
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted September 25, 2011 04:31 PM
HI. I wanted to comment on another Piscis man. I met him two years ago while training for a marathon (internet) We later saw each other in person at our running group. Each meeting took less than 3 minutes. I tend to be shy, but I tried to put my shyness away and be "strong." He on the other hand seemed extremely shy. I even got the impression that he didn't like me. Afterwards, we kept writing emails to each other. I am very fond of him. He is a good man, a hard worker, but for some reason, he doens't ask me out despite the fact that we live within 10 minutes of each other. I've hinted that I like him, that we should date, but he doesn't react. Sometimes I give up and I stop writing, but when I do, he writes to me!!! As a result, I'm confused, sometimes he seems interested; other times, he doesn't. I know that he has other worries on his mind like finding a good job. About 2.5 years ago he lost his job (where he was earning a lot of money), and a few days later, his then girlfriend dumped him. I know these events (as well as the death of his uncle on the same week) hurt him a lot, but I don't see him moving forward. It makes me sad and confused because I know he would be a great husband. IP: Logged |
DOLPHIN
Knowflake Posts: 25
From: India
Registered: Jun 2011
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posted September 26, 2011 12:36 AM
poicelle. Pisces are all old souls ,they are called as dust bin of Zodiac i.e they contain characteristics of each twelve signs but still have there own character of standing out and looking Today ,Tomorrow and Past as ONE. This too much of different characters in them confuse them more than they confuse others ,Pisces are more aware of these vastly different trends they carry in them and they know how they react differently to the same situation at different occasions .Its a whole lot of confusion for them to handle.That's why they tend to like people who are more stable with fixed values and character trends .Romance is one area which each Pisces very much in touch all the time .They are searching for there SOUL-MATE or Mr/Miss perfect all the time if they are single & sometime even after marriage if they are not happy in the marriage,what they really want is a committed partner who is someone from there long forgotten fairy dream world with whom they will live happily ever after with secure future.
Linda has described it beautifully in her book SUNSIGNS.Reading it will help you to understand your Pisces partner better.
Love & Light.
------------------
Imagine,Ordain & it will Manifest. IP: Logged | |
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