posted November 08, 2011 08:47 PM            

Let me start off by saying, it is VERY VERY VERY hard..as you can somewhat expect.

It's not because I need constant physical affection, but the fact that you need to spend so much effort into coordinating schedules of when to talk, when to visit each other, etc. is very DRAINING.

Actually, the long distance relationship I had with my ex was my longest relationship ever. He was a Sag sun, Cap venus, Scorpio mars, Taurus Moon. During those 4 years I was in school (for the most part) so I would accomodate all my time to talk to him. We spoke EVERYDAY via Skype from PC to PC. Good thing was, we would have GOOD conversations. If we didn't, I think we would've bore faster.

He was NOT a bad looking guy either, and I'm okay. I never ONCE was jealous of him or had ANY doubts about him cheating on me (maybe in the beginning but after that, no). That was how much TRUST and FAITH we had put into each other. The idea of him cheating on me was almost 0 and probably hardly ever crossed my mind. My girl-friends were ALL over him (he was a VERY good looking man and is a GREAT socializer) but I was still fine with it - it didn't bother me.

With him, I KNEW it was gonna be steady...but steady is about it. Flat. Plateau. However you wanna describe it. However, it has gotten to the point where I needed some FIRE, PASSION, something that makes him HIM. (Individuality I suppose?) But he was just very laid back...not very much opinionated.

We would coordinate and spend 2-3 months at a time visiting each other. For example, I would go over and see him for 2-3 months during my summer vacation. He had a pretty flexible job that allowed him to work in remote-access so he would come over for 2-3 months to see me.

The relationship started falling apart when I graduated college and found a full time job. Since he was in a different country it was almost impossible to stay up for each other as late as we used to. When I was up, he had to get ready to sleep. When I am home, he is at work. The talking died down ALOT. The most we could do was weekends...but we would spend so much time talking to each other that we wouldn't even have a life. In a way, we neglected our friends and neglected going out and actually having fun like young people are suppose to do.

Mind you, he needs that as a Saggy. Now that we broke up he has been going out a lot and experiencing alot with his friends. He tells me "You know, there were so many things I haven't done when I was with you cuz at the time everything was about you...and now I see that I've missed out on alot in life."

So there you have it. Are you willing to put your 100% faith in this person? (without having to drive yourself nuts in suspicion) Are you willing to put in the effort to coordinate all these things? And finally, the long distance HAS to have an answer. My ex and I knew we were both marriage material, the problem was I couldn't do it because he wasn't financially "there" to support me and a family together.

posted November 09, 2011 04:26 AM            

At this moment I don't even know if we'll continue - my partner's gone very quiet on me. I hope with all my heart we do. I feel I really want to take this challenge on because the relationship is worth the hard work.

posted November 09, 2011 05:30 AM            

Beautifully put! I agree on your points. How do you find having a libra mars? I find myself accomodating in relationships, I am also quite chilled out in terms of trusting someone, I can see why you fell in love with a saggie. I LOVE libras...

posted November 09, 2011 07:43 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SparklingSag:
Dear Malicefey

Beautifully put! I agree on your points. How do you find having a libra mars? I find myself accomodating in relationships, I am also quite chilled out in terms of trusting someone, I can see why you fell in love with a saggie. I LOVE libras...

Sparkling

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Haha thanks! Mars in Libra..I accomodate ALOT. I did ALOT for this man..literally. I would help him type up his resume, revise it 1204910249 times when he was searching for a job. I also did some of the job hunt FOR him. That was when we were both young and had too much time on our hands. Luckily later, he found himself a VERY good job in IBM Ireland (He lives in Ireland now). He is also a good worker, every one loved him (cuz of his great ability to mingle and socialize with anyone). He was promoted to a manager within 2 years. Of course, I pushed him but half of it was definitely the fact that EVERYONE loved him and he took advantage of his socializing skill.

As for long distance relationships - yes, there HAS to be a solution..you can't keep at a long distant forever. So either one of you need to decide to move to the other person..there is no getting around it, and if both of you were serious, this would be a topic that should be discussed quite early on in the relationship..

And yes, there will be alot of missing, but once my ex and I got comfortable, the missing went away. I had my own life, he had his own life and we were perfectly FINE with that. I'm not sure how much physical contact you need, but a lot of people I know don't believe that long distance works because most people need their loved ones to actually BE there...to be honest it doesn't make a difference because the ones who are physically there can cheat and lie just as well as the ones who are actually not physically there. So for those people who use "You don't know if he's cheating on you..blah blah blah" as an excuse NOT to get into a LD relationship is just plain naive. I know TONS of people who are physically WITH their partners and STILL manage to cheat. And do their partners know? Absolutely Not!

And trust me, I had ALOT of people who told me it wasn't going to work out. Of course, it didn't but it wasn't about the distance. We were at the point where he was ready to move over any minute (and was finalizing things over in Ireland). But when I broke up with him it broke him into pieces. The problem was that we didn't address my issue with his financial background enough during the time we were together. Part of me wanted him to come over but the other part also knew I wasn't ready to support him. I didn't make nearly as enough, and once he comes over, I would have to accomodate for the fact that it might take him a few months to even find a job. I lived with my mother, and that would mean I had to move out also. These are the things that need to be talked over when you guys DO decide who's going to whom. It's so important and should not be glossed over like my ex and I.

But once it's decided and you guys are in the stage of finalizing the move and starting a new life together, then it's all smooth sailing (kind of) from there. Well atleast somewhat of a smoother sailing :P

posted November 09, 2011 09:41 AM            

There is another question I have been thinking about - if we are so giving, I am considering NOT being so open and giving in the beginning of my next relationship. I am easily pleased, you see, Mr Leo (who I am not sure if I have feelings for..) bought me some cute bottled cider cause he thought I would find the bottle pretty and the purple colour of the cider cute too. He had really put thought into something simple, this is like candy for my libra love planets. Makes me feel he understands me with his details.

BUT, then I wish I was more strong in terms of love. Libra is intellectual and I have logically accept things, but emotionally I can be very hurt.

Sparkling

posted November 09, 2011 09:58 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SparklingSag:
Wow, you sound like me! I also helped an ex with his CV and got him a job interview, another, I helped him get a place during research at a University. Well, what do we ask for in return? A gratitude and acknowledgment of what we have supported with I suppose,I just like making my man happy. BUT, there comes a point, if I am being taken for granted, I will blow up and refuse to give, give, give. I am double libra as mars and venus are both in this sign. Combine that with combustible leo moon and sag sun, I can blow up if pushed.

There is another question I have been thinking about - if we are so giving, I am considering NOT being so open and giving in the beginning of my next relationship. I am easily pleased, you see, Mr Leo (who I am not sure if I have feelings for..) bought me some cute bottled cider cause he thought I would find the bottle pretty and the purple colour of the cider cute too. He had really put thought into something simple, this is like candy for my libra love planets. Makes me feel he understands me with his details.

BUT, then I wish I was more strong in terms of love. Libra is intellectual and I have logically accept things, but emotionally I can be very hurt.

Sparkling

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The "I can blow up if pushed" sentence best describes me (and yourself). Also the whole "I am so giving so next relationship I won't be as giving" I'm currently in a relationship (of 5 months) with a Scorpio man (moon Aries, merc/venus Sag, Mars Capricorn) and it's a bit better. Although in the beginning I was pretty emotional, I also understood that I just got out of a 4 year relationship to which I was ready to marry, then move onto a new relationship and I am still having that lingering mentality. As time passed, I was less and less giving of this Scorpio man, I guess he told me "not to care so much" because he wanted to take care of me - not the other way around. Infact, I'm a bit more kicked-back and relaxed now and I'm definitely enjoying the care that he gives me! He carries my things when we go out, he doesnt let me carry anything heavy. Once, I bought rice and carried it to his house. He complained that I shouldn't be doing it because it's too heavy for me and I shouldn't be doing such "heavy" work. But of course, he appreciates the fact that I did it for him.

Of course, I cannot COMPLETELY take and not give. We "live together" on the weekends, I clean his place up for him but he cooks 95% of the time for me. He also does my laundry that I leave there...lol..Career wise (we work in the same company) he has guided me very well and I understand he DOES care about my career advancement. Kinda feels like he was me with my ex. Hahaha, of course, in the end, everyone wants to be appreciated. I sometimes can get heated, but I also make sure that I am trying my best to show him how much I appreciate him taking care of me.

posted November 09, 2011 11:41 AM            

The Leo I am friends with, is very earthy, Mars and Venus in Tarus and Virgo. VERY different from me. But soothing and stable too.

posted November 09, 2011 11:45 AM            

quote:

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Originally posted by SparklingSag:
Interesting...good to see you are sharing your life with someone who likes to give too!

The Leo I am friends with, is very earthy, Mars and Venus in Tarus and Virgo. VERY different from me. But soothing and stable too.

Sparkling

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I always thought someone with more "earthy" elements would suit me, but perhaps not since I will probably find them boring

Someone suggested some water/fire elements to suit my crazyness..I'm not crazy!? Just mentally hilarious.

posted November 09, 2011 11:47 AM            

Mr Leo has water/earth so maybe not a great match but maybe good for a healing/calm relationship?

posted November 10, 2011 01:32 AM            

I suggest just being friends until one can have the means to move and still date in the other's city. My Aries brother had a LDR with another Aries for about a year. She was in another country and when she came to visit, they got married. Took us by surprise as he always said they were just friends. Three weeks into it and her visa almost up, they decide to marry. 14 years later, they are still happy together.

Point is, if you do it, have a plan to meet soon. Especially if you are very young, don't waste time on a fantasy relationship. Keep socializing & dating while keeping him as a friend. Don't reject what could be under your nose for someone far away who you don't really know.