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Author
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Topic: How do I present my love interest?
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Cardinal Arbiter
Knowflake Posts: 343
From: T-dot
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2011 04:21 AM
  
This may seem like a really silly question, but I've never been in a relationship, and now that I feel the person I've wanted since meeting is available, I'm at a loss for how to do it.She is not happy, and I want to make her so, or at least hold her hand through whatever trials she faces. We're both very awkward towards eachother though. I feel like we have everything in common (outlook, introspection), and I am willing to admit my realization of potential for love as true as I know it with her, but I think she expects something more conditional. She is depressed with the results of her romantic pursuits with others, and has lost hope in true love. Of course, the love I suspect she realizes entails initiation through conditional means, perhaps conditional frills aswell, along with the unconditional loyalty and compassion of true love. So, I'd love to fulfill this idea of hers, but I lack the conditional predisposition and skills. I am hoping anyone at this forum may lend their experience to aid my attempt to learn. Please, any help is appreciated. ------------------
Pisces Sun, Libra Moon, Scorpio Ascendant..
Cardinal Grand Cross IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 2119
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 08, 2011 06:14 AM
Have you tried to ask her what she is looking for in a love partner?
Are you friends already?
Try to find out what those "conditions" are and do your best to meet them. I am not saying that you should change who you are though!
Just meet her needs and she will pay attention.
Love -especially the unconditional kind- means you are happy to meet your loved ones emotional needs.
Love her the way she needs and wants to be loved.
Let us know how it goes.
If you have birth times, post your charts and we might help you decipher that awkwardness.
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Cardinal Arbiter
Knowflake Posts: 343
From: T-dot
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2011 07:47 AM
Thanks for replying anongrl10!I have not asked her that; we haven't really talked about her emotional needs directly. We are friends of a distant nature. When I met her it was love at first sight, but I cared so much about my dealings with her; not wanting to mess up chances, that I basically totally clammed up. So we've just been acquentances for a really long time. Recently we've been talking online and I've been more comfortable communicating with her, and now, crazy as it may seem, we've just moved together. I think I've got "how to love someone" down pretty well just from introspected thinking. What I'm really lacking is sparkle to lift her off her feet. She's a Sagittarius. :P I don't know how to approach her as more than a friend. I don't have her birth time, but I have mine, and I have her date. Would her houses be really useful? I could ask, but it would be pretty awkward and I have suggested that if she told it to me I could read her horoscope to her, and she wasn't interested enough to tell me then. Also, I imagine this is quite important. I think she's been stuck on her ex for a long while, or if not stuck at least still attached. It's like she has a complex that he has to be the one, but he's not interested, even though she broke up with him. She denies being hung up on him, saying she's just teasing him, as if some method of rubbing in that she doesn't want him anymore, but she gives him a lot of attention he doesn't utilize compassionately. Here's a synastry of Her an I, with a false birthtime for her.
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anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 2119
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 08, 2011 11:34 AM
A Sag girl, eh? 
You are talking to the right person then! LOL
Listen - Sags love to be FRIENDS first. They want to feel comfortable with you, honest, open, they like to tease/joke and also enjoy being active with their friends. They enjoy deep philosophical conversations.
I will look at the chart and come back with more specifics but I feel since you are friends you are on the right path to get her attention. Just keep being a friend, and a good one at that. Share in her interests and show yours. Sags are naturally curious about life and people.
Will be back after I look at your synastry.
Could you also put your own chart alone?
Also hers. It's fine with no spec TOB, I won't look at the houses, BUT this will be a part of her missing as planets in houses are a biggie for good astro interpretations. We'll do our best with what we have. I just want to help you get closer to her emotionally so she can see you as more than friends. OK?
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Cardinal Arbiter
Knowflake Posts: 343
From: T-dot
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 08, 2011 02:48 PM
Thanks a lot for your time! I really appreciate it.I am principally honest, but my natural demeanor is more that of a selective exhibitionist. I would love to trust everyone to accept me and be fully open and free, but I haven't evolved to that yet. When we talk online we often have good philosophical conversations, though I often carry it, but on the other hand in person, we generally have short small talk which she carries but doesn't lead anywhere. I'm super intimidated by her in person, considering how attracted I am. I sort of principle myself to act like I'm not attracted to her, out of respect, but I worry this might actually fool her. Though I do aloofly say that she is naturally beautiful and she can assume that anyone would be attracted to her. (And that's no stretch of truth! For a long time I considered her the most beautiful person I've ever seen until I became generally more open minded.) Anyway her chart:
 And mine:
 I'm eager to hear your response. IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 2119
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 09, 2011 03:54 AM
Gosh, that's a karmic relationship. Look at your Saturn conjunct hers. Yours in the IC (home/roots) - did you have a painful childhood/fmaily story?
Your Pluto, so prominent in your Asc, conjunct her Venus in Scorpio. No wonder you fancy her so much! Venus in Scorpio is sexy, and Pluto rules her there. Although you say you fel intimidated by her, she might be feeling the same about your Pluto in Scorpio!
Your Psyche conjunct her Venus and her Phyche conjunct your NN (karmic). Her Ceres is on your Venus (tender, nurturing love).
Her Moon on your DC, you see her as the ideal female partner. That's where we need her houses so you can see if any of your planets sit in her DC (relationship/partnership house).
Her Juno likes your Moon. Her way of being with you as a partner (Juno shows her ideal partner and how she is in a relationship) is soothing to your feelings/emotions.
She has all these late Scorpio and early Sag planets on your Ascendant. No wonder you like her so much.
Her Venus squares your Saturn. She has that with her Saturn too so she's familiar with the energy. It's not a light-hearted link when Saturn is involved, though it's karmic.
This synastry aspect alone can't decide if you two will become a couple but it can be a glue, a connecting factor, though not the usual happy-go-lucky type of love. Saturn is restrictive and enjoys responsibility. You might feel responsible for her. She will deal with you the way she deals with her own Saturn which also squares her Venus. This square could be a factor for you feeling a bit awkward approaching her romantically (Venus). On her side, she's familiar with this particular square so she's not as awkward-feeling.
I would have liked more light-hearted Venus-Mars contact points in the chart. BUT you have a nice Sun-Moon sextile: her Moon on your DC (house of a loving partner, so you see her as this partner) sextiles your Sun in your 5th house (fun, sex, creativity). So again one of her luminaries (Moon) affecting two of your love houses (5th and 7th). I can see why you like her so much lol! We need her TOB to see if any of your planets fall in any of her love houses too
There's definitely karma here and strong emotions at least from your side. If we had her TOB I could see if your planets fall in her love houses or any angles which would be an important factor for romantic/soulmate love.
You are both young. I feel she looks up to you in a way (your Pluto in Scorpio and your Saturn in Aqua both affect her Venus), but I don't see a strong (sexual) attraction from her side (apart from her Venus who really likes your Pluto ). You could win her heart: The Sun-Moon sextile deepens the friendship bond and she feels comfortable with you; again she's the Moon and you're the Sun, she is looking up to you even as a friend! Are you aware of that? It seems the ball is in your court here but you need to go gently. Hope this helped. I didn't go very deep since we don't have her TOB. best of luck and let me know if it resonates!
Anongrl10
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Cardinal Arbiter
Knowflake Posts: 343
From: T-dot
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted December 09, 2011 10:35 AM
My parents seperated when I was 5 and I changed custody weekly my childhood thereafter. Apparently that's notoriously traumatizing. I definitely wasn't raised in a narrow bourgeous environment anyway. My parent's are neo-hippies. I have no full siblings. My 3 half siblings from my mom's side (particularly my only brother) resented me for being my father's son as I grew up. My half sister from my father's side is a bossy Aries who was jealous of my parents respect for me and would take compensation into her own hands. Really though I had the priviledge of having morally and philosophically level parents, and was raised in an environment scarcely compromised by arbitrary society, at least scarcely enough that I could recognize where it was and loath it eternally. It's not like I was forced to eat TV dinners and be kept chained in a basement.Do all people the same age have karmic relationships? Again Pluto doesn't move remotely quickly, so she'd be equally intimidated by her whole generation regarding that aspect. I should hope Saturn square Venus doesn't dictate a sure relationship, considering she'd be committed to a whole generation. It is true she hasn't dated anyone much more than a year older than her though. Thanks for the reading! It was fun to hear your perspective on all those aspects, though I've already looked up generic definitions online or in books for most of them. Nothing really struck wrong, but nothing really stuck out as shockingly accurate either. I'm not very close with her. Again really what I'm looking for is how to approach her, not how theoretically our relationship would play out if I do manage to initiate it. If your best lead is houses, I suppose I'll have to find her time of birth to continue. It seems really creepy though, I think she'd think. It would probably be more constructive to just focus on friendship now and take it where I can as it comes. I've thought she may be Scorpio rising, but that may only be mistaking her presence of Scorpio planets. Particularly that Scorpio Venus conjunct Pluto you pointed out. She is definitely sexy. Lately I've been thinking maybe Libra. She's very model like; never not posing in pictures, and certainly beautiful, but then, she does have that Taurus Moon (conjunct Aphrodite, incidentally, 1degree). Again I might simply pin it on Sagittarius. She does exemplify what I associate with Sagittarius, and she's in the league of Hollywood idols, who are vastly second tier Sagittarians I notice. I guess I really haven't the slightest idea. Anyway, thanks for the reading! If I do get her time of birth, I'll certainly let you know, and if you have any others ideas please share them! IP: Logged |
anongrl10
Knowflake Posts: 2119
From: won't_disclose
Registered: Sep 2011
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posted December 09, 2011 04:06 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Cardinal Arbiter:
Do all people the same age have karmic relationships?
No. You have a generational planet (Pluto) extremely close to her personal planet (Venus). Even with Saturn I mostly pointed out the square with a personal planet (Venus). When you have generational planets contacting personal planets, things become karmic. Especially when you have nodes conjunct some love asteroids etc. which I also pointed out. quote:
Thanks for the reading! It was fun to hear your perspective on all those aspects, though I've already looked up generic definitions online or in books for most of them. Nothing really struck wrong, but nothing really stuck out as shockingly accurate either. I'm not very close with her.
I didn't say or imply that you are close.
Apparently my reading didn't help you. Your feedback truly makes me regret the time and energy I put in it. Good luck.
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bttrklk
Knowflake Posts: 40
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted December 10, 2011 04:11 PM
hi! i see that your saturn square her venus and your chiron square her venus 4 degrees.that's the chiron-venus connection makes you want to heal her.and i see that you have venus-chiron trine in your natal chart.it's common that people who has natal chiron-venus aspect fall in love with people with whom they create a chiron-venus aspect in synastry chart.and i am also one of them.
is this really an unconditional love for you?won't you want her to love you in return of your efforts to make her happy? saturn-venus square and chiron-venus square generally mean that chiron and saturn make effort to make venus happy and look for venus' love in return.in this situation she can love you or she can appreciate your effort,they are different things.you also have pluto-venus aspect.making effort to make her love you and wanting love in return can be an obsession,be careful! my suggestion is that, don't give your all to her before you are sure that she also loves you and she also tries to make you happy.don't be the only one who makes efforts in this relationship,i don't mean that she won't love you.she can love you.i just say that take it slow IP: Logged |
bttrklk
Knowflake Posts: 40
From:
Registered: May 2011
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posted December 10, 2011 04:16 PM
and don't forget that your happiness is as important as hers and you are as precious as her IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 1275
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted December 10, 2011 08:49 PM
quote:
Originally posted by anongrl10:
I didn't say or imply that you are close.
Apparently my reading didn't help you. Your feedback truly makes me regret the time and energy I put in it. Good luck.
Anongrl the reason their saturns are conjuncting is cos they're born around the same time, saturn moves extremely slow. So does all the other outer planets.And the girl has her moon like 8 degrees away from his desc, I wouldn't really consider that having her moon 'on his desc?' since the orbs large. I don't think it looks karmic imo? Psyche being near pluto isn't anything big bc psyche moves kind of slow too and pluto moves at the snails pace! Everyone born around him will have those aspects with the other girl.
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