posted January 06, 2012 10:11 AM            

i *think* i have what everyone would call a soul mate. BUT i don't really know the exact definition of a "soul mate". "someone who shares the same wavelength" was the best of my understanding. or bring each other joy and heavenly bliss. however it's been an agonising experience. i'll explain.

i met him during my travels i spontaneously commenced at the end of my Saturn return. there was no romantic/sexual attraction but he did move me in the way no one else ever did. after departure, i realised he was not leaving my heart. it's hard to explain, he just stayed, intensely, without definitions. our paths crossed again and i moved to his country (not for him).

posted January 06, 2012 10:16 AM            

during these years, we had no definition of what we were. we both had other relationships and lovers until we became indifferent. with each other we have had inconsistent and segmented periods of being sexual, platonic, and in love, all very intensely AND separately, and it's still going on in these varying terms. but one thing we feel is that no matter what, we will not be separated. even if he moves across the globe, or if i have a family with someone else, nothing will come between us. he doesn't believe in soul mates mumbo jumbo, but said "if there was something like a soul mate, that would be you". it is not obsession or possessiveness that keep us together. we feel something beyond our control. we don't LOVE each other, we are… us, and love is just an inclusive aspect, not central. we are not a support system, we are not lovers in love. and we find each other hauntingly similar in many ways.

posted January 06, 2012 10:21 AM            

right now, i need to release and let him go. and if i do stand on the new land, there is no guarantee that he will be there too AND part of letting go is to accept this fact. we will not land anywhere if i don't let go. and i am having a difficult time. i need to have faith, but it's scary.

posted January 06, 2012 02:23 PM            

Don't worry so much about the label. We ALL are soulmates if you ask me. Everyone who comes in your life to teach you something (at a soul level I mean) *is* a soulmate. You two definitely qualify for that.

I don't know exactly (in practical terms) what triggered your posts above. I hope you are safe and well.

What I can tell you is this: Knowing your background and his (from what you have shared with me), I believe you two have become codependents. It's like saving each other while you are both drowning... There is a way to see things from a perspective and heal the codependence but until you get there you will play it over and over with people in your life. His similar background makes him an "easy target". You will play it over and over with him until you have resolved it. Again I'm speaking at a soul level. And I think you know what I mean.

You can find many others in your emotional shoes and try to listen to their stories and how they tried to heal.

Here's a link that will help you: http://www.12stepforums.net/coda.html

posted January 06, 2012 03:49 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by anongrl10:
Lechien,

Don't worry so much about the label. We ALL are soulmates if you ask me. Everyone who comes in your life to teach you something (at a soul level I mean) *is* a soulmate. You two definitely qualify for that.

I don't know exactly (in practical terms) what triggered your posts above. I hope you are safe and well.

What I can tell you is this: Knowing your background and his (from what you have shared with me), I believe you two have become codependents. It's like saving each other while you are both drowning... There is a way to see things from a perspective and heal the codependence but until you get there you will play it over and over with people in your life. His similar background makes him an "easy target". You will play it over and over with him until you have resolved it. Again I'm speaking at a soul level. And I think you know what I mean.

You can find many others in your emotional shoes and try to listen to their stories and how they tried to heal.

Here's a link that will help you: http://www.12stepforums.net/coda.html

---

that's funny that you say that, we say the same to each other too. "we are both drowning, let's try not to hang onto each other".

thanks for the link about Co-Dependents Anonymous Group, and i did enjoy reading it, but none of the criteria applies to us even from a detached point of view, so i'm afraid it cannot help me or him.

i don't recall sharing with you so much about me and my guy? when was that? we are having difficulties in life, not together but separately. i'm not really sure what sounded like we have a co-dependant relationship, but it wasn't really what i wanted to express. we have our own problems which we are taking care of individually. i was speaking about our wanting to "help" each other more in spiritual terms, not emotional. it's definitely a soul level pain than emotional, what we are going through. in particular he would avoid at all cost to get himself into something like that, he's the most detached individual i've ever met, in a healthy sense. in a way we are not very "attached" to each other. i think if we had a co-dependant relationship that would not be the case.

posted January 06, 2012 04:24 PM            

..in LLC2, topic, What's on your Mind...

I see in alot of places, where
you are judging people...

yes, self-awareness..
you give good advice!!!

posted January 06, 2012 04:38 PM            

anongrl, people who come from dysfunctional families sometimes can overcome the traumas they have received early on in their lives, without falling into the ditch with someone similar. and that is exactly what i meant to mean when i said "i have learnt incredibly much". i have never been this much aware and in touch with my inner self. i would have been susceptible to co-dependant relationships before him. now not any more. he has also faced some of the things he locked up in the back of his mind. he never told anyone his family was particularly dysfunctional before. if we are so-called soul mates, we met precisely because we have these traumas to overcome, no? we do so through and with each other. i would not be feeling like we are making breakthroughs if we were co-dependant.

posted January 07, 2012 03:14 AM            

So yea, a soul mate relationship can be toxic, and the trick is that until you haven't solved your current karmic lessons with each other, you just could not let go. At least thats my experience. The bright side is that you can learn so so much about yourself and about love (in its every meaning).

I think deep inside we always know exactly if/when the time comes to let go of someone, and eventhough it could be an utterly painful thing at times, it always happens to the benefit of the people involved.
The main thing is to let go each other with peace, and if your love is strong or you still have things to solve with each other, then you will find each other again.

I've also had a strange relationship with someone. It was strange, cause even though we loved each other much, our relationship has always been platonic. After two years we reached the point where we had to decide what to do with each other. We chose different paths, so unfortunately our relationship has fallen apart completely. Whihc is a huge loss, but thats it, there's nothing you can do in a situation like this apart from learning about leting go and accaptance.

posted January 07, 2012 04:10 AM            

Emerald, you like to get in the middle and stir things up so I am not even going to respond to your post which isn't relevant to anything in this string anyway.

posted January 07, 2012 07:29 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dreamy_AriesGirl:
A soul mate relationship is never easy, especially if you meet with somone whome you share a lot of past lives... cause that means there's a lot of things to sort out, solve, forgive, lessons to learn...

So yea, a soul mate relationship can be toxic, and the trick is that until you haven't solved your current karmic lessons with each other, you just could not let go. At least thats my experience. The bright side is that you can learn so so much about yourself and about love (in its every meaning).

I think deep inside we always know exactly if/when the time comes to let go of someone, and eventhough it could be an utterly painful thing at times, it always happens to the benefit of the people involved.
The main thing is to let go each other with peace, and if your love is strong or you still have things to solve with each other, then you will find each other again.

I've also had a strange relationship with someone. It was strange, cause even though we loved each other much, our relationship has always been platonic. After two years we reached the point where we had to decide what to do with each other. We chose different paths, so unfortunately our relationship has fallen apart completely. Whihc is a huge loss, but thats it, there's nothing you can do in a situation like this apart from learning about leting go and accaptance.

So just do what your heart tells you, good luck

---

thank you for wishing me good luck Dreamy. i don't have doubts, but of course i never know what will happen. what i feel now is that when i "release" him, we set each other free to deal with ourselves on our own, and we can do so more efficiently because of the lessons we have learnt from each other. and i don't have a single doubt that after that, we'll be back together all the stronger.

and i don't mean this in earthly terms. when i say letting go and releasing, it's all metaphorical talk. it doesn't mean i stop being his partner or we go have other partners, it's way beyond matters of partnership whatsoever. when i release, everything will stay the same, it's just a change inside myself. we can't care less about what we are, we'll always be together anyway. by releasing, we will not be separated. it's hard to explain.

releasing means giving into the unconditional love. and that bit scares me.

posted January 07, 2012 07:37 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by anongrl10:

Lechien, that's my message to you and it is OK if you do not accept it. I was expecting that. I wrote it in the outmost love, compassion and concern for you, but as I said self-awareness is not something anyone can offer to others. And it's always easier to see the issues of the other person than our own, and I take this into account when I offer (compassionate always) advice. You are free to ignore it of course; in fact I would be very surprised if you didn't. Be well. I sincerely wish this for you.

Emerald, you like to get in the middle and stir things up so I am not even going to respond to your post which isn't relevant to anything in this string anyway.

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anongrl, while i find your input amusing, let me humbly point out that what you are saying is simply out of context. there's no accepting your message or not, i don't know what to do with your information.

posted January 07, 2012 10:24 AM            

------------------
Passion, Lust, Desire. Check out my journal

posted January 07, 2012 11:11 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dreamy_AriesGirl:

I've also had a strange relationship with someone. It was strange, cause even though we loved each other much, our relationship has always been platonic. After two years we reached the point where we had to decide what to do with each other. We chose different paths, so unfortunately our relationship has fallen apart completely. Whihc is a huge loss, but thats it, there's nothing you can do in a situation like this apart from learning about leting go and accaptance.

---

posted January 08, 2012 10:03 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by lechien:
i haven't checked "soul mate" aspects etc. specifically in our synastry, but it doesn't look anything special. Draconic charts look more interesting. we don't always make each other happy, but we make ourselves "complete". we are not passionately in love with each other, it feels like it's something we have already completed long ago. from the moment he entered my life, my life became saturated in violent, vivid, harsh but amazing colours. i can never go back.

we most definitely are at least "something". i knew it from the moment i realised he did not leave my heart in the beginning. but is this a typical experience one goes through with a soul mate?

---

I'd really be curious to see your charts. I really identified with the "soul level pain" experience with this person you describe, as I have experienced the same, and there was a definite link in the charts between Venus and Mars and IC/MC.

posted January 09, 2012 06:20 AM            

quote:

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Dreamy_AriesGirl, i'm just curious. what do you think the reason was that this person fell out of your life? were you guys not ready yet, or maybe you are meant to deal with this in another life time?

---

posted January 09, 2012 08:34 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by Dreamy_AriesGirl:
Mainly because our feelings for each other were too strong to be able to be just friends any more, and unfortunately he did not wanted to do any work to sort things out. He also lied to me a lot before our "break up" happened, and he just left it like that. He choose the easier way, and i had to accept his decision...

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aw, that's a bit sad then, but sounds like he was not ready for it this time around. but i hear we may meet more than one soul mates. in each life we have different experiences with each one of them i guess.

posted January 09, 2012 08:36 AM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by scorpmoon2:
I'd really be curious to see your charts. I really identified with the "soul level pain" experience with this person you describe, as I have experienced the same, and there was a definite link in the charts between Venus and Mars and IC/MC.

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i can post our chart here, no problem. however i really don't see anything THAT interesting in our chart. Draconic is interesting because our Stelliums are conjunct and one of our Draconic Saturn is conjunct the other's Natal Saturn. but then i'm not experienced in reading charts so you might see something i never noticed.

posted January 09, 2012 03:09 PM            

quote:

---

Originally posted by lechien:
one thing is that my AC/DC rulers conjunct his AC/DC. not very tight though. his Sun cj. my MC is something but not THAT spectacular. otherwise we just have lots of squares.

---

The squares must mean something for sure, but I'm not expert enough yet to tell you something definite. My opinion, developed only through my experience, is that contacts to the MC mean something. In my case, his Venus conjunct my MC (3 degree orb) and his Mars conjunct my IC (.2 - nearly exact - orb). As MC is supposed to be associated with career, job, true to this, we met on the job and our association was heavily burdened with work matters.

posted January 10, 2012 09:48 AM            

i see that for me and my guy, although it's not tight the AC/DC and rulers conjunct sounds like a pretty important aspect. and as you said the contact to MC. i didn't find much that applied to our chart, but we do have some double whammies with all those squaring Stelliums.