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Author
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Topic: Help with scorpio man
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SusieScorp
Newflake Posts: 2
From: New Jersey
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 10, 2012 01:43 PM
  
Hello everyone and thank you for reading this. I am at my wits end. I met this Scorpio man over a year ago. We immediately connected. We talked on chat (internet) almost every night. We found each other to be so alike ( I am a scorpio as well), we both shared the same interest and found each other so interesting. Even his good friend said that we were so alike. So the thing is whenever we see each other at work functions, he makes it a point to get my attention and be near me. He has never said he likes me or anything of the sort. I am the kind of person where I want things concrete, said and stated and I want to be 100% sure. But since he has never said anything I never knew how to take him. So last Spring, I finally couldn’t hold it anymore, you only live once right. So I told him, in not exact words that I had feelings for him. What I said was along the lines of “I think you are amazing and I want to live in your brain and learn all about you..” there is more but you get the point. So I sent this via text ( I tried to see him but he always brushes me off to make plans) and he replies with “Aww how sweet”. Needless to say I was heartbroken. I am not the type to shout my feelings or go out on a limb and put my heart out to be trampled… I felt destroyed. When I asked him later that night what he thought he said “You’re a nice girl and we have a lot in common”. Since then I attempted to avoid him, move on date people, etc. We spoke here an there on chat but very short and professional. About two months ago we started to talk again, I don’t know how but several things happened that really ****** me off, anytime I would ask him to hang out, like to discuss work, or grab coffee ( very casual) he would say ok, but then never text me back. On my birthday I asked him if he was going to be around to hang out ( since he never wants to hang out with me I refer to us “hanging out” as text/chat) and he said yes, but then ignored me. I told him a few weeks later he hurt me and called him out on not ever wanting to hang out with me. He said he was sorry and was busy. Since then he’s been cold, distant, and we no longer talk like before. He would ask about my life, want to get to know me. Now it’s stale, like joking conversation, or him ignoring me. In the middle of December, we had a company outing and I completely ignored him. I gave him my own scorpio ice treatment, as if he was a ghost. He ended up contacting me after the event and we ended up taking that night so I bring up like how he never responded to what my confession of having feelings, his response was, why do you need me to say it, it’s obvious, and like he just wouldn’t say it, he would say what do you think, or assume away, finally he said, “Do you think I just talk to all my co workers until 4 am” meaning ?? I guess then I assumed he did have feelings but still I don’t feel reassured. Since then I cannot get him out of my head like I used to. I used to be able to distance myself, not talk to him, pretend he didn’t exist. Since then we talk almost every night, I initiate it. He is never mean per say or rude, but sometimes he will ignore me, again he just jokes alot, sometimes a little sexual, but he says haha jk, again the conversation is stale like he doesn’t ask or want to know about me. So I finally had it. I told him this weekend, and I did this in my own scorpio rage, to hurt him and make him just not want to talk to me, so I said ” the person I thought you were was an illusion in my head and I hope your mind can be at rest , because I no longer have those feelings for you”. He just texted back “ok”. So yesterday, again I cannot get him out of my head, I was so so angry I sent him like moody messages, he ignored like 3 of them. Finally I said I hate you and he responds “lol sorry I didn’t even see these”. So I ended up like spilling my guts again (ughh why is it only HE has this effect on me) like I told him I hope he is happy he got what he wanted for me to hate him, that he is mean etc. He questioned me and said “name one time I was actually mean to you” and I guess he is right, he is so slick I can’t really name an instance so I explained how cold, distant he is. He said “why can’t we ever have a drama free conversation like normal people”… Now I am furious. So I finally lost it and like said I hate you, I never want to see you again, lose my number… Can someone please help. I have to see him this friday for work. Part of me is so hurt at his cold behaviour I want to punch him, the other half is sorry and I just want to be near him. Any advise on whether he truly has feelings or not, I feel like this is a game to him. What do I do Friday?IP: Logged |
scorpmoon2
Knowflake Posts: 33
From:
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted January 10, 2012 01:54 PM
Speaking as...ahem...a Scorp moon and not a Scorp man, I believe this man is somewhat confused, and perhaps not totally into your relationship to the extent you are (though I hate to say it) at this time. That's why he is taking all your comments in an apparently calm manner; you are the emotional one, and he is just watching you. I'd say this is the time to keep calm, mature, reasonable. I know it's hard, but just give this guy more time to figure things out for himself. The best way to intrigue a scorp is to be a bit mysterious, and don't lay all your cards on the table. Just be professional, friendly, matter-of-fact, and watch for his response. Maybe draw back a little, see if he comes to you. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. But he might - the ol' scorp push pull goes on and on and on... IP: Logged |
SparklingSag
Knowflake Posts: 1036
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted January 11, 2012 11:37 AM
quote:
Originally posted by scorpmoon2:
The best way to intrigue a scorp is to be a bit mysterious, and don't lay all your cards on the table. Just be professional, friendly, matter-of-fact, and watch for his response. Maybe draw back a little, see if he comes to you. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. But he might - the ol' scorp push pull goes on and on and on...
Oh my, speaking as a sag sun/leo moon who was involved with aries sun/scorp moon, the push/pull thing is totally spot on. I too would be the emotional one, and he was calm and distant, it seemed. Mine came back for me twice, after I moved on or was attempting to. I reached out to him when my grandad died as he had known my family and for the first time in 5 months we texted and he was amazingly gentle and supportive. It doesn't mean he is in my life, but kinda on the edges I guess. Sparkling IP: Logged |
Starry~*
Knowflake Posts: 402
From: New York, USA
Registered: Nov 2011
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posted January 11, 2012 08:05 PM
Currently dating a Scorpio man.Yes, they hold back and they won't show any of their cards until they know it is 150% safe. But to be honest, if a Scorpio wasn't really into you, he wouldn't let it straight out to you anyways. The first date I had with my current scorpio guy, he immediately told me during our dinner that he liked me a lot and was serious about me. I didn't give him a straight answer, I just said "let's just get to know each other first" - and that drove him NUTS. He even told me if I rejected him, he even had his guy-friend come and comfort him that night (to which I lol'd inside..but shh, he doesn't need to know that..lol)..and he tried REALLY hard to get it out of me. The next day, he immediately wanted to go to lunch with me, dropped EVERYTHING he planned that day just to have lunch with me. That being said, if a scorpio really wanted you, he would go for you. None of this BS-ing beating around the bush. I know it is VERY difficult for you. It's always up and down with Scorpios. We're finally together now and I've been through alot of emotional highs and lows with this man. I'm VERY afraid of showing my emotions (Scorp ASC, venus, pluto, merc here) and I hesitated alot around him. But like you, I'm learning little by little to show him my emotions - after all you gotta show SOME of your cards to let them learn to trust you. I believe in being myself around this man..and that was what I did. If I wanted to cry, I'll cry..even in front of him, he'd understand and wipe the tears off my face. If I wanted to shout and scream, I'd shout and scream. I'm just being who I am and honest - something they can really appreciate. Sometimes he would be affectionate, but at times he can be very cold and distant. I don't take it personal (I've learned not to anymore) because it's not directly related to me or our relationship in anyway. He's a very goal-oriented man and he takes his job very seriously. Therefore, I allow him his personal space and room to breathe when I sense that he is stressed from work. This Scorpio you are talking about isn't really sure if you are worth it. That's the problem. You were sure he was worth it to you, that's why you spilled out everything like the way you did. But remember - he's watching and analyzing your every action deep down. Even though he might seem or say that he doesn't care, he is analyzing. In the end, he'll decide whether or not you are really worth his time. My suggestion - be cool, be calm. Afterall, you met him through work (I met my scorpio through work too and we still work in the same company) and work should not tie in with personal stuff. I know it's hard, but keep your work-face on this Friday. It's hard to sever the tie you have for this person because you like him so much...but there's gotta be a line drawn somewhere, right? Respect his space and time to decide...but at the same time, you gotta show him that you respect yourself too. Scorpios admire women who have a sense of self value. You are yourself, you have value, you should honor that and your own time. Don't pour everything onto him and spew out hate. Take a deep breath and handle this maturely. Atleast that way they can respect you. On top of all that, I'm sure you can pull through this (being a scorpio yourself). Most of all, find someone who can truly like you for who you are. Not chase after someone who isn't even sure/not doing anything about you. IP: Logged |
SusieScorp
Newflake Posts: 2
From: New Jersey
Registered: Jan 2012
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posted January 12, 2012 07:25 AM
thank you all for sharing your wisdom and experience. i know i was meant to meet this person in this life, but perhaps not in the way i thought. i've given it a lot of thought and decided to try and be friends and know each other and leave it at that. thank you again!IP: Logged |
makesthebest
Newflake Posts: 24
From: new york
Registered: Jan 2011
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posted February 04, 2012 02:41 AM
It sounds like this guy is toying with you. In my opinion anytime a man is being passive about stating his feelings and intentions and just sitting back and watching you work he is toying with you. And watching you lose control. You're a scorp woman, as am I...imagine how you would behave if this is someone that you REALLY wanted. You would tear a forest down in order to get him...Well, you would tear a forest down in order to get close enough to him so he can see how stunning you are, and make his move  ...And he's a man. He should be more aggressive. I hate this for you, but I fear that you are more into it than he is. He is treating you the way a person would treat someone that they are being just polite to and have moved on from. You're a scorp girl. Put on your poker face square your shoulders and walk into work like you have WORK to do. If you can't gain their hearts you can always gain their respect. IP: Logged |
mintgirl123
Knowflake Posts: 2400
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted February 04, 2012 03:10 PM
Oh hun... It's really really obvious he's not particularly into you, and he's not even really toying with your emotions bc his ACTIONS speak it so loud and clear. I mean he honestly didn't give ANY indication he liked you.. Even his responses are really apathetic.You need to read the 'he's just not that into you' book. I know it's gotten much too publicised, but when I was like 16, I read it (I'm 22 now) and it helped with getting a perspective on things.
If a guy is into you, he WILL show it. He won't blow you off, he won't keep on going hot and cold (in your case it's more lukewarm). He will make the plans, you wouldn't have to chase after him.
You deserve much more! Next time don't go overboard with telling sb how you feel. Don't lay out your cards like that. Hold back. IP: Logged |
Eternallycuriouscorpio
Newflake Posts: 1
From:
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted August 30, 2013 06:04 PM
You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you like him and leave it at that.As you said,we have only one life,so showing your true feelings will only be appreciated and respected by him even if they are not reciprocated. In summary,I vote for forthright and direct communication telling him how you feel and asking for a response from his side too. P.S-This scorpio man might have air placements and a venus in libra. IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 35859
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted August 30, 2013 06:05 PM
Welcome!IP: Logged |
Hera
Moderator Posts: 8335
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted September 01, 2013 01:57 AM
WELCOME TO LINDALAND, Eternallycuriouscorpio!  IP: Logged |
ScorpionAz
Knowflake Posts: 63
From: Mesa, AZ
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 01, 2013 05:31 AM
If he truly had feelings, then he wouldn't be putting you through this aggravation. When a man is interested, nothing is going to stop him from pursuing you and letting you know he's interested. When a man tells you who he really is, via his actions, it's important to pay attention. It sounds like he was tentatively interested in the beginning but backed off when you got intense. Let a man pursue YOU, not the other way around. Men are generally turned off by a woman who is "too available". He let you know with his actions, by not being available and by not calling/returning texts, that he wasn't feeling you the way you were feeling him. He should have just told you straight out he wasn't feeling you that way, but some men like to keep their options open, so they play games. I know it has nothing to do with astrology but it's invaluable for women ... read the book "He's Just not that Into You". Trust me on that. Also, it's my personal belief that two Scorpios aren't good together. All you can do at this point, is be indifferent towards him. Stay professional but cut him off from personal aspects of your life. Do not talk to him outside work. I know you'll be hurting inside but it will pass. You lost your cool and let those famous Scorpion emotions get away from you. I can relate, trust me. All that does is push a man further away. And scare him. LOL Hold you head high and keep it moving ... he's not worth your time. IP: Logged |
ScorpionAz
Knowflake Posts: 63
From: Mesa, AZ
Registered: Aug 2013
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posted September 01, 2013 05:55 AM
Haha .. I see someone else mentioned that book too, He's Just not that Into you, except she read it when she was 16. I didn't read it until I was 40. Had I read it 20 years ago, it would have saved me A LOT of tears and heartache. However, it wasn't written that long ago. =( IP: Logged |
NOLAdiva
Newflake Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted January 01, 2014 09:14 PM
To Eternallycuriouscorpio: I am dealing with a similar situation with a scorpio man and he does have a Venus in Libra. How would that play out??
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NOLAdiva
Newflake Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Jan 2014
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posted January 01, 2014 09:15 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Eternallycuriouscorpio:
You need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you like him and leave it at that.As you said,we have only one life,so showing your true feelings will only be appreciated and respected by him even if they are not reciprocated. In summary,I vote for forthright and direct communication telling him how you feel and asking for a response from his side too. P.S-This scorpio man might have air placements and a venus in libra.
How would a Venus in Libra play out. Dealing with a similar situation with a scorpio man with a Venus in Libra. Thanks IP: Logged |
acousticbob
Knowflake Posts: 140
From: UK
Registered: Aug 2010
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posted January 03, 2014 10:35 AM
If he's like this in the 'courting' stage. Imagine how bad he will be for your mental/emotional health in a relationship.I'm a Scorpio Sun + Venus and completely relate to your infatuation. But, it does not sound like this guy is good for you! Infatuation is very different to love but it can be equally all consuming. Hope this helps x IP: Logged | |
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