posted February 14, 2012 04:18 PM            

you are dating someone

a. person responds, 'i didnt think it was important for you' after failing to comply with a request/desire. why should person go with his own interpretation of things that I do know are important for me?

b. person doesnt seem to be able to be in tune with your feelings. e.g. when you are hurt or sad. if the situation is not affecting person, person becomes sarcastic or tries to make jokes (supposedly to make you feel better).
if i tell on him, he responds, 'i didnt think it was such a big deal for you'

c. person doesnt do things such as looking at something and thinking, "she mentioned this" whereas if i see something that person needs, i buy it to surprise person.

d. person and i have been seeing each other from saturday nights to sunday afternoons for 3 years.
sometimes, we hang out at other days.
whereas i want us to spend nights more often, person seems fine with this arrangement.

rarely does person takes the initiative to see me more than our date nights. and if i tell him about spending more nights together, he says 'he has work tomorrow'.

he is very practical, and likes to have everything like a schedule but, i would think that person would start feeling a desire to see his girl more often and ask to come over more often.

now, person has no problem with helping and likes to share. so i would not call it selfishness. person is very service-oriented, respectful, funny, good person.

however, the 'not being able to see things from your point of view or how important some things are for me' is something else.

for example. there was a robbery in my area.
we did our date night but then, i told him that i wanted to spend the night with him the next day.
he had work the morning after.
i had to beg him to let me spend the night with him.
he would say, "you'll be fine on your own"
at the end, he said ok.

dont men for the most part feel honored when their girlfriends want to spend time with them?
or at least, a guy's protective side comes out and he wants to protect his girl?
in spite of work? he had nothing huge going on like a project, supervision...nothing going on on that day. and it is not as if i told him not to go to work.

is this self-centeredness? self-absorbed? many sites seem to use them as synonym for selfishness but i think they are different.

the thing is how can someone be self-centeredness and not be selfish?
im trying to understand the difference between the two.
because he is not selfish.
after all, if he didnt care about me, then he would be selfish...
now, i agree that he doesnt care about me as much as i care about him and that he is not valuing me as i value him.
and we will def. have a talk
but, i need to be able to understand these differences to explain it.

so, there must be a clearer explanation.

thank you.

ps

he is virgo sun, moon and mercury
mars and venus in leo conjunct
neptune, uranus, jupiter in sag
saturn in scorpio

i always hear of mars and venus in leo being generous
but, person never gives gifts, except on b-day
and thus far, in three years
he has never made the effort to plan ahead for my b-day even though he knows b-days are important for me...
if i tell him,
he says, "you know how i am"
"i didnt think about it"
"i should have"

but he never makes more of an effort..

he never makes future plans either.
he states that he is in the moment
but, we talked about children...
and he said, "you can have the children you want, and i can have the children i want"
but, as in separate manner...never us or inclusive...

posted February 22, 2012 01:09 AM            

"he is virgo sun, moon and mercury."

This is what my husband has, and he is the most thoughtful man I know, but how he expresses his love for me seems rather cold. Like you said, "Oh, you'll be OK even though a robbery just took place near you." I think your friend is just like my hubby - neither of them would tend to act on any irrational ideas, so it's hard for them to understand our points of view, so they see us as overly emotional. I think it is due to the Moon in Virgo, which is not the most romantic. I think if you read up on the traits of the Virgo, and especially the Virgo Moon; it might help. Good luck and keep your faith!

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Have a truly cosmic day!