posted March 14, 2012 11:05 PM            

I met my Taurus on a dating site in Nov (2011). When I first came across his lengthy and wonderful profile about the kind of man he is from his POV, I thought he wrote it for me. After many fun & simple email exchanges, a few where he was forthcoming w/personal details about what led him to move to my state in October (1 month prior), our schedules lined up to meet for coffee in Dec.

My heart jolted in my chest when he walked thru the door. From the moment he sat down with me he grinned & never took his eyes off me again. It took 10 min of conversation & I knew he wanted to kiss me, but we sat there sharing basic information for over an hour till we both had to go. He was right behind me out the door and wanted to kiss me the second we were outside but I directed him to a more private spot near my truck. Without hesitation he took me in his arms & kissed me good & we parted grinning. I knew I was in trouble then. 30 min later I got an email saying how much he enjoyed meeting me, how sexy both I & my brain were to him & how he looked forward to seeing me again. I left w/my sons for xmas vacation days later. Thinking about that kiss was with me every night I lay down to sleep. I emailed him xmas eve w/a pic of the scenery where we were & merry xmas message. As he would prove to always be, he was immediately responsive, emailing back a short similar wish that ended with "Hurry Back!".

As soon I as I was back in town after the 12 day trip, I emailed him I was home & finally gave my cell number & he texted me 12 mins later. We caught up a bit on text, discussing schedules, & when I teased him about his upcoming work demands (he's an ER nurse), he responded, "I know... thought a lot about that kiss in the parking lot". Just like I had every night. We ended up agreeing to meet the next afternoon--he changed his routine & did this on short notice to meet me.

2nd meeting, same place. He arrived right after me & crossed the parking lot to me & took me in his arms without hesitation and kissed me good & hello. In the cafe, he stood as close behind me as possible, as if I were his, never let me pay for anything, offered me his coat when I was clearly cold, pulled his chair right up to mine when we sat down & took my hand in his as we started catching up. He was either holding my hand, my knee or leg, or trying to touch me in some way for the next 90 mins without ever taking his eyes off me. At one point I sat w/my face resting on my knee in my hand, gazing back at him w/full unwavering intensity & he did the same. When we left he wanted to kiss me again right away, but I had him get in my truck w/me where we made out for many minutes, him identifying w/the music I was playing, then culminating w/him sensually kissing the back on my hand as he held it before he left. A follow-up text minutes later w/how much he felt like a teenage making out in the parking lot, how much he looked forward to seeing more of me.

6 days & he texted me, asking me to breakfast in 4 days & then if I'd come back to his place. I agreed, but w/stipulation that I wasn't able/ready to have sex w/him yet. He was fine with that. Texted me a bit in between about him finding a place we'd eat & being impatient about seeing me. Met him that Monday morning, talked a lot more. Was starting to get more info on his past. I look nothing like any of his former loves. His wife & most recent post-divorce quick relationships all dark hair & eyes, curvy built, bigger bodied girls. I'm 5'10, blonde, blue eyes, strong built but more statuesque/proportional, long legs. Our chemistry & connection is always intense, comfortable, incredibly affectionate and physical. His eyes rarely leave mine & he's always trying to touch or be in contact with me and I welcome & love it. I am very open hearted, strong and fearless.

We spent 3 hours at his place, shared some personal disclosures, had lots of physical contact and making out but no sex, oral or otherwise, all clothes stayed on. He fell asleep in my arms for 45 mins.
My girlfriends told me I had to tell him how I felt, so 3 days later in a direct email, I did. I let him know very clearly how I felt when I first saw him, how vulnerable I feel when with him, how my body reacts so strongly to him, but most importantly, how further involvement w/him would mean more to me than just a hook-up or one-nighter. I told him I'm not afraid of intensity or chemistry. I said 'IF and when I see you again', giving him an out if he needed. His response a few hours later, sent on his phone while on a break at work, made me want him more. He said he saw me as a woman strong & comfortable in her sexuality & he respected my boundaries and looked forward to seeing me again & was willing to move at any pace I needed to set.

I replied how much I appreciated that & looked forward to seeing him, then I stood back, having researched Taurus men I knew about giving space. 6 days later, he sends me a text w/a pic of him having just filled in a tattoo on his arm. He asks me to come over in 4 mornings & take a nap w/him after my kids are at school & he's just come off a 12 hr ER shift. It's almost a repeat of before, catching up, lots of making out & snuggling, him coming down from a stressful night's work, letting me into his private world, he falls asleep in my arms again & I leave a while later. I was ready to be with him, so we set an overnight date for that upcoming weekend, 5 days later.

No contact till that day, I give him space in between, he texts to confirm we're still on early in the day. I arrive at his place at 2pm, he was ready for us to leave for lunch, but I was ready for HIM. We have a drink together, he's always standing in my arms or kissing me when we're in the same room. LOVE this guy. We finally come together & it's passionate. He takes me to lunch, before then picking up my keys w/pix of my boys on them, the first time he's looked into them. At lunch he asks about my children & stressful week (my sons have autism) & is an amazing active listener as I tell him about them. After lunch he takes a detour & drives me up to an overlook in the mountains where we get to watch the sunset. It's gorgeous. He asks on the drive back to his place about other luck I've had on the dating site. I say not much, not wanting to tell him yet I've lost interest in others.

We have sex again upon returning to his place, it's more intense. He's an aggressive, passionate lover in contrast to his gentle affectionate ways otherwise. He falls asleep for a couple hours, I get ready for us to go out for the evening & relax. I wake him later & we head out, he's always such a gentleman, always close to me, always kissing me or holding me. I'm hooked.

We have a ball, he takes me 2 a couple of his favorite haunts, I take him to 1 of mine. He puts his hand on my knee at the table, he discloses more about his ex-wife, but now I wish I'd asked so much more, it just didn't seem right to barrage him with questions on our first night. When I share that now I know I hadn't married b/c I was in love & ask him the same, he says, "Oh, I was in love with her." He shares a lot about the stresses of his life & death job. He is a deeply caring, sensitive but very strong hearted man.

Back at his place we've had lots to drink and still have amazing sex w/abandon on his sturdy kitchen counters & back in his bed & fall asleep together. In the middle of the night I have a bad feeling. I wake up & he's on the other side of the bed. He doesn't come near me for the rest of the night & I have fitful sleep. In the morning he gets right up, & when he comes back to the bedroom he's fully dressed from where we'd thrown our clothes in the kitchen. He lays down next to me on the bed, hands folded quietly on his chest. I am hungover but it hurts, something has changed. I get up to dress feeling like I'm now intruding. He makes us coffee & offers to make me breakfast but is out of stuff. He does come back into my arms in the kitchen again, then we sit opposite each other at his table & he asks me what's wrong after seeing my expression. I tentatively ask if it's OK that I'm here this morning, that he slept apart from me & then got up & dressed so quickly. He says beautifully & grinning, "You've got those women's wheels turning, don't you?" and makes me laugh. We talk a bit more & he says we should "do this again sometime", then i need to go anyway. Before I leave I tell him what I couldnt last night, that I said I hadn't too many other dates because I'd lost interest in others. He lights up with surprise. Then he walks me to my truck after starting it for me & carries my things. Kisses me goodbye & says he'll call me.

3 days later I send an email telling him how such a good night put a spring in my step & he responds immediately that he had a great time too. Then nothing. I send a short email 8 days after our night simply telling him I was having great memories of being with him, to encourage him if he needed it. For the first time, no response. Then he disappears. The following weekend he posts a comment on a new picture of my face I'd put on my dating profile, saying, "Love It!". I email him and tell him how much I enjoy him, how I have no agenda but think he's a good man w/a strong heart & I just want to get to know him better. I offer to cook him dinner, take him out, and especially express to him that i understand his need for space, that I'm happy to take things slow & respect his boundaries. No response till 5 days later.

I suddenly receive an email from him that tells me how much he liked my email to him, and that as much as he'd like to see me again, he's 'currently seeing someone'. Says it's in the early stages & doesn't want to screw it up but that w/his luck it could go sour & if it does he'll 'call me' (um, no you won't). Then makes a comment referencing how happy looking at his countertops makes him w/the memories. I'm stunned.

I'm not letting him get away that easily. I made it clear in my email before sex how vulnerable I was to him & how going forward would mean more than once with me. I have the opportunity so I drive to his house, knowing he'd be there. I just want him to have to see me. He's happy to see me when he opens the door, immediately moves to kiss me hello but I move so he can only get my cheek. He's more serious now & let's me in. I am very calm and warm, not angry or emotional in any way. I never cry or talk above a calm voice while I'm there. I tell him I know I made myself clear to him how I felt, that I gave him every opportunity not to go forward w/me, that I made it clear that it would mean more than sex to me. He looks very pained the entire time, but he listens & his eyes never leave me, he's never defensive, he just takes me in. He keeps moving closer to me, keeps motioning to touch me. When he tries to say that he thought we both knew it was just a 'casual relationship' he asks it almost in a question, as if he knows better. I was shaking my head before his sentence finished & say no, I know I made myself clear. I motion between us & say there's more here than that, isn't there? And he makes the barest nod of agreement & then there's nothing else to say. I stand to leave & he takes me in his arms again, hugging me long. At the door I say, "and no, I don't want you to call me if it doesn't work out. If it didn't mean enough to you the 1st time than I've no interest in being 2nd place." He turned away halfway thru my statement & couldn't look at me anymore. Then I leave.

That was a month ago. He's looked at my profile a few times, including on that day after I left. Thanks to the wonders of Facebook & public profiles, I was able to see many pix on the older feed of his page & then find a tag to his ex-wife, who he isn't FB friends w/anymore, and on her page were many old albums of their life together. They were clearly in love. She a Pisces, he a Taurus. Married not even 6 years, he told me she'd never wanted kids so he'd gotten a vasectomy (in his early 30's!) but he'd always thought he'd be a 'fun dad'. A year before my 1st coffee date with him his ex was still posting about wonderful gifts he got for her. Then somewhere between Jan & Apr of 2011, their marriage ended abruptly & within 3 mos after that he took a job all the way across the country as far away as he could be and moved here. At this point, I doubt it's even to the 1st anniversary of his divorce.

I am sure that he bailed on me. That he's still recovering from a fairly severe broken heart & was in no way ready for a connection of the magnitude we generated. He gave up any dreams of children for the woman he was in love with & then their marriage failed after less than 6 years. I have so many questions of what happened to them. Did she cheat? Were there too many difficulties & he gave up?

So now I feel bad having cut off my relationship with him, even though he chose to not pursue me. Until he heals, he can't give me what I need, but it doesn't feel right to not know him at all. I think about him everyday, sometimes so much I wish I could turn it off. I miss him and what I felt with him, it was like love heroin, and he is everything I crave in a man.

I've thought of emailing him & asking him to meet me for coffee, then advocating that we should be friends. But what I've read about Taurus needing loyalty and perseverance, but also loving independent strong women, I'm not sure what to do, if anything at all. I realize Taurus needs lots of time. My Tarot cards show repeatedly that he misses me and wants me to. He still checks in daily on the dating sites so whoever he's involved with isn't too serious, which I think is how he wants it & I don't blame him.

Maybe I should be patient & see if he comes back someday? Your thoughts if you've survived reading this marathon story. Thank you for any feedback, especially Tauruses or those that know them well.

I'm a Libra, moon in Pisces, Venus in Scorpio. His moon, Venus & Mars are ALL in Gemini, poor guy.

posted March 15, 2012 11:12 AM            

He is more confused than he will ever know.

Taurus is fixed and from what I have seen, the Bull man does not recover from nor let a longtime love go so easy.

His assuming your contact was just casual is a cop out, you dont do that to a woman then tell her you are in the early stages of another relationship, if this is not a huge red flag to you, I dont know what would be!

He is a big dog who is a womanizer and I would bet money he is going to do this to the new woman.

Forget about getting back at him, again beign fixed he is not going to retrospect and realize he did you wrong.

He is not worth your time or energy definately not worth you thoughts.

Karma will get him.

Nothing you can say or do will have any effect on this man.

And dont think just cause you established boundaries in the beginning that he should automatically know where you are coming from. Alot of people just dont care, are self centered and self serving and I guarantee everything you told him, in the beginning went in one ear and out another.

He is clearly all about he.

You dont need that in your life, nobody does.

You should tell him that if he treats his patients the way he treats women, you are supirsed they dont all die (I am an ICU RN and have used this line more than once, not in reference to relationships, tho.)

I am a PIsces sun, Taurus moon and I was involved with a Bull once.

He bailed, went back to his ex.

I love earth guys, wont turn me off of Taurus for ever, but the type of behavior this man and your man is immature and just plain wrong.

blessings to you!!!

ps....the traditional year out of a divorce, etc. is really the way to go. Been there done that. We woman are just too vulnerable any time sooner to get seriously involved. Made that mistake myself, just shy of a year. You owe it to yourself and your kids to become whole first, then add another...

posted March 15, 2012 12:15 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by T:
Also, I may be wrong, but I think is typical as to what you will find from men you meet on dating sites.

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posted March 16, 2012 05:09 AM            

What really persuaded me was his comment that he'd call you if it didn't work out. That comment, right there, is a pretty clear indication that he didn't care. The other big red flag is how he reacted after the countertop incident. Got what he wanted and then bailed out.

A man who REALLY loves you would want YOU: he wouldn't just take you as a second choice/plan B.

Plus, a Taurus who refuses you offering to cook for him? Yeah, definitely not really interested, just playing the game.

I'm really sorry that things worked out as they did, and I hope that you're doing well and healing well from all of this.

posted March 16, 2012 04:29 PM            

You are in a fragile state and my best advise to you is not to "hit it off" with any more men until you ascertain that they are serious about you.

Don't let any men near you. But this isn't a lecture and you are best to judge for yourself.

posted March 17, 2012 04:43 AM            

NEXT time, however, if & when I encounter such a powerful connection, I will do my homework better before leaping too far. This man is a good man. I know he behaved callously when he realized he was over his head and that he has a long way to go to recover from his own loss, but I can tell you I've had multiple Tarot spreads that back that up.

I love all your support though! It really helps me with clarity, things to think about and remember. Thank you!

posted March 21, 2012 01:24 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by lilithpluto:
Even if he didn't mean to hurt you, I really dislike the way he handle things, knowing fully well that what your expectations are.

That is just way too cruel on his part.

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posted March 28, 2012 09:56 AM            

Good for you going over to his place to confront him. If he is still looking at your online pages, good for you! Let him see the wonderful life you are living and the happiness you experience and be sure to never ever speak to him again. He'll hate that once he's curious enough to want to reach out to you.

Just my two cents based on my limited experience

posted March 29, 2012 08:53 AM            

You:

I don't want you to have sex with me unless you love me and want to try for a permanent relationship because it will hurt the little girl inside me if you do me and then just leave me!

Him:

Awwww baby, come on, you aren't a little girl any more, it won't hurt that bad! Obviously we both lust after each other, I know I can have sex with YOU and not get too involved. You're a big girl and you know you want it!

The new woman was probably A VIRGO who he could just TELL would do his ironing. !#%$@#$@!!!

*grumbles off

posted April 01, 2012 03:59 PM            

And you're right, he was/is, YUM. Handsome, tall, strong, of course bright & sharp witted, beautiful strong wrists & hands (for some reason I like that)... And like I said, running into this chemistry was like giving pure glacier water to someone who didn't know they were dehydrated.

That said, I learned a lot & all in the good way. Next time I won't be so blinded by the chemistry to let my rosy-Libra-glasses & Pisces moon emotions get in the way of getting some answers first. I had a lot of questions as I got to know about where he was coming from & the loss of his marriage that put him here all the way across the country--I just didn't bother to ask them before I jumped him.

Funny thing is... where I live is small. I will see him again somewhere, it's only a matter of time. That should be interesting.

posted April 01, 2012 04:07 PM            

It's been 2 months since the end of that event.... I've pulled my profile off the dating sites for awhile preparing for trial... but when I do check in just to peek at what's around for the future, Mr. Taurus's profile is still a daily regular checking in on both sites. There's that triple gemini influence... whoever the 'other' girl was, it clearly was either short or he's just enjoying his newfound single-status with lots of shopping.

posted April 02, 2012 04:35 PM            

Ya know, I just turned 50, recently. My late husband killed himself to spite me, it was a terrible marriage, but I knew there had to be some learning lessons to the whole thing.

I kept thinking about what did I learn about the situation, I could never, for the past ten years come up with anything that I learned.

Then it dawned on me, that it was not the learning of the experience itself, but what I learned about me.

Take what you have learned about you, not about others, and carry on!

blessins~

t~~~

posted July 01, 2018 01:54 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by TaurusVenusGirl:
Now I am curious too... what happened next?

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