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Author
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Topic: Looking to understand, why these feelings
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Sashar
Knowflake Posts: 173
From: Alternate timeline future
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted March 26, 2012 11:20 AM
  
  First one is our synastry, second is our composite. We were friends for years, he'd sit and talk with me about anything and everything... usually centering around extremely personal and deep emotional turmoil on his part. I was dating his friend (who I eventually married). But I had some problems. I would do things for this man, like cook for him, even against my own will. Like, seriously, I would say... "I'm not going to do this." And the next thing I knew I would "forget" and only "remember" that I said I wasn't going to do it until after it was done. That happened often... but I couldn't seem to help it. At first I was repulsed by him, which made the strange excitement that would over take me whenever I saw him incredibly perplexing. I fought my feelings, I tried everything. I tried to ignore them, I tried to turn them into something else, I tried to push them away... it just wasn't happening, it was like my heart was actively working against my mind. Finally, I gave in. I told him how I felt and asked him how he felt. His response was silence. It's been six months since I've seen him... I went from seeing him or talking to him almost every single day for eight years to complete silence. So, I ask a favor. Look at these charts: What caused my doing things for him as a compulsion? Why was I so unaware of being attracted to him until it was too late? What caused the silence? Not sure if this is requesting a personal reading (if so, kindly move it)... in general these are things I've never experienced before and was wondering if there is something specifically in the charts that points to those things. Be blunt, I like blunt. Because, if there is, I'd recommend avoiding it if any of you run across it in the future. It's horrible. ------------------
Felines and dames in flames
Will hardly serve my aims
But in my dreams, it seems
That my eyes are always shooting laser beams IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 7059
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 27, 2012 06:00 AM
What caused my doing things for him as a compulsion?
His Sun sq Pluto naturally wants to dominate situations, his Saturn was also nearly exact conj your Venus so you might have felt with that, that doing things for him, tho it might have felt like a stern request, that giving in meant that you were showing yourself capable of bending and compromising in relationships because that's what respectful associations are built on. I'm not sure if he was using what he saw as your pliability and turning it against you for his own needs but that could have been the case considering his natal and your Libra Venus which is usually eager to please. I think your Pluto initially resisted his Saturn but your Venus is the one that gave in.Why was I so unaware of being attracted to him until it was too late?
Your intense reaction may be the result of your Venus/Pluto/Mars stellium.
There's also an element of power struggle in both of your natals, which can also come out as intensity/am erotic attraction to the similarities in his nature to your own:
your Venus/Mars/Pluto stellium
his Sun/Mars/Pluto square
You can see with these that he obviously has the more dominant set up since his involves the Sun.
There might have been some resistance to him also because of his Saturn on your Venus feeling like a wet blanket. A thing I'm not thrilled with is that your Moon doesn't aspect his chart.
Another thing to complicate matters is your ASC ruler Jup conj his ASC ruler Sun, this is typically a very good sign for any relationship, but it constitutes more of a friendship feel. It's centered in your 8th so it's that close sharing, some generosity there, like you said on your part, with listening, it's in his 12th so that makes sense if he shared secrets with you. What caused the silence?
Maybe some kind of power trip. He has Sun/Merc sq to Mars/Pluto. He likes to be in control, he pushes for what he wants, he gets annoyed easily, there's a lot of anger wrapped up in there. But the signs are not assertive, they are Cancer and Libra, and what they have in common is passive aggression so I think he may be doing it to teach you some sort of lesson. Sun sq Pluto esp can have an issue where they want everything to be their idea, scared of the possibility of anyone else overpowering them. So this might be his way to get even over something. His Sun/Merc on your Jup in 8th is part of the reason for him confiding in you and feeling open, maybe an emotional connection, but the Mars/Pluto is there and it tells him to not get too close because if he does then he might lose control of who he is as a man. I think he might be scared in some way of the power that you held over him when he kept you in his confidence. Moon conj Mercury is another close sharing aspect.
Also a classic separating aspect is Sun sq Uranus, his Sagittarius Uranus to your Virgo Sun, he might have wanted to bolt when you tried to make something real and solid (earth) happen between you 2. You probably liked the excitement that he might have brought in, showing how to be lighter/approach setbacks w.humor/the thought of traveling with him and being wild might have turned you on, like to take a sudden trip with him somewhere, but your Sun conj Saturn in Virgo is serious and that may have felt confining to that side of his nature, that it was fun to bring out something wild in you, even just a thrilling flirtation, but then when that wore off the thrill was gone. I know you have ASC Sadge, but the Sun sq to Uranus is a different aspect.
Venus sq Uranus in the composite often shows a relationship that may end as suddenly as it's begun, but not always. Uranus in the 2nd so the break may be due to personal finances of one of the partners playing a role somehow. Or possibly also different basic values of what constitutes a meaningful relationship.
Saturn sq Neptune is sort of crushing in the composite. There's someone who's putting a damper on the other's dreams and bringing them down to cold reality.
My 2 IP: Logged |
Sashar
Knowflake Posts: 173
From: Alternate timeline future
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted March 27, 2012 12:12 PM
First off, thank you so much for the in depth reply. It's always wonderful when someone is willing to take a little bit of their time to help a complete stranger.  When I looked at the synastry and composite myself, I couldn't help but think that it was probably the worst things I've seen in any perspective romantic relationship though a pretty good one when it came to friendship. Which is kind of why I posted it in Soul Unions... you know, love overcoming the obstacles of the stars and all that. Would you say, over all, I'm the one who's more interested in pursuing this relationship? As for what you wrote... you knew everything without knowing anything. lol With the compulsion thing, the only thing that concerns me is, most of the things that I did for him on compulsion he was not actively aware that I was doing. Though, there is a possibility that I was assuming his desires and acting accordingly even without a request. "doing it to teach you some sort of lesson" - yeah... I've been feeling and wondering about that from the beginning. It honestly makes me angry to even wonder if that's what's going on, because if that's what he's trying to achieve, I sure as heck don't know what his point is. But there's a good chance that you're spot on with that. "the thought of traveling with him and being wild might have turned you on"
- That was the plan. XD LOL <3 "Saturn sq Neptune is sort of crushing in the composite. There's someone who's putting a damper on the other's dreams and bringing them down to cold reality"
- Well, that would be either his best friend or my soon to be ex husband (another of his friends) It's there though. I was just hoping to work past it. Also... do you happen to know if there's any info on how to overcome the Sun square Uranus aspect?
I just want to say, I'm worried. He pushed and pushed and pushed for me to divorce my husband (in a sideways way that never brought our interest in each other to light, always just on the side), but for the longest time. I'm worried that so much time has passed that he stopped feeling anything for me, and now that I am divorcing, he's going to blame it on himself. I don't necessarily want insight on that, I just needed to put those worries into words.
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Felines and dames in flames
Will hardly serve my aims
But in my dreams, it seems
That my eyes are always shooting laser beams
IP: Logged |
Lonake
Moderator Posts: 7059
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted March 28, 2012 12:05 AM
First, thanks for the feedback. quote:
Originally posted by Sashar:
Would you say, over all, I'm the one who's more interested in pursuing this relationship?
I couldn't say one way or the other. I know that the Cancer Sun/Mercury man is typically quite sensitive & does not do well with confrontation, neither does Libra. If they want you (Cancer) they will make themselves vulnerable to you but if you break that trust they're developing they may be too hurt to try again. But, the Cancer is ruled by the Moon in Leo and that Moon needs a lot of attn, as well as his Sun, they both need to be babied to a certain extent. I don't know if that's what you want. That combo can also act out in childish ways.That was the plan. XD LOL <3
Oh, if that's the case then it is possible his Uranus in Sagittarius did bolt. The thing with Uranus is you never know when they'll be back. It's a selfish planet (just that planet isolated) so when in hard aspect (like a sq to a luminary) there are abrupt changes of mind to suit personal interests. Also... do you happen to know if there's any info on how to overcome the Sun square Uranus aspect?
In synastry, to give the partner space. To not expect a 24/7 googly eyed relationship. Let the partner pursue their interests and trust that they will return. It's also satisfied with an unconventional relationship, age difference, ethnicity, culture, things like that, things that would force a distance. An affair. I just want to say, I'm worried. He pushed and pushed and pushed for me to divorce my husband (in a sideways way that never brought our interest in each other to light, always just on the side), but for the longest time. I'm worried that so much time has passed that he stopped feeling anything for me, and now that I am divorcing, he's going to blame it on himself. I don't necessarily want insight on that, I just needed to put those worries into words.
Well I have to write here that it sounds like the Cancer Sun (sideways manner). Possibly involving the sq to his Pluto. Maybe he wanted something very badly but then the Uranus bolted when he saw that it was going to be closer to a reality, since Uranus likes a bit of distance, and he had the distance when you were married. That is one possibility. Another is that he's just inconsiderate and is dealing with something unrelated that he didn't clue you in on.
Warning, butting in here, but if it's been 6 mos or so like I think you wrote, it might be time to give him a call. I would, at least to settle things cos I would feel as if I had been left hanging. At least you were friends right. Haha but then I have a lot of Pluto, I'd be sneaky, invite em for coffee then draw out a confession. I think we've all been there in some way. A fiance ended our engagement and I was left literally carrying my luggage through a foreign city looking for center of said city to find the bus to take me back to the airport to get back to the states. Crying my eyes out for all to see on the sidewalks lol. I can laugh about it now. IP: Logged |
Sashar
Knowflake Posts: 173
From: Alternate timeline future
Registered: Mar 2012
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posted April 14, 2012 04:44 PM
Just wanted to give you an update Lonake.I saw him again since this post, he came over to visit a few days before my exhusband and I got a divorce. Nothing was really said, forwards or sideways. I seem to have this bad habit of trying to read hidden meanings in everything he says... Anyway, my divorce went off without a hitch on the fifth. My ex and I are still living together, we make great friends but not so great relationship material. I haven't heard from this guy since then... but I'm not giving up. Locked on to what is surely to be a disaster. Was wanting to wait to reply just in case something did happen, but it's been awhile and nothing has, so figured I should probably update anyway. Thank you so much for you insight. =D ------------------
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