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Author Topic:   How do you feel close or connected to others?
RegardesPlatero
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Posts: 2162
From: Storybrooke, Mr. Gold's Shop
Registered: Sep 2011

posted March 31, 2012 08:07 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for RegardesPlatero     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm thinking a lot lately about how people connect to each other and how people maintain friendships (and other relationships, too). So, how do you feel close to people? For me, my big thing is communication, mainly conversations or messages: words. I'm a very verbal person. I don't feel as close to people without them and often worry that I creep people out or that I've done something wrong if they are not responsive or communicative with me. However, some have suggested that people feel connectedness in other ways, so I'd like to hear from people what those ways might be. This was sort-of discussed on the Virgo Mercury thread from wayback, but I'm looking for a more general approach. That is, I'm not concerned with any one Mercury position, and it's not a communication-only question. Basically, I want to know how people (of any sign/chart placements) feel close to other people, and what makes their connection strong/what makes it feel like it lasts and stays with them.

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Stars_Melody
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Registered: Mar 2012

posted March 31, 2012 09:46 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Stars_Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ah that's so weird! I've been thinking about this for the last couple of days!

I would have to agree with you in that I bond with people through conversation. If I don't have any sort of mental stimulation, it's likely that I won't be close to that person.

I was dating a guy about two weeks ago and he was a really nice guy and I liked everything about him, but he was SO quiet and he never talked with me about anything. And I realized that he was bonding with me through affection (hugs and kissing) while the affection felt more forced upon me because I wasn't bonding with him through conversation. And so, I realized that I could have been fine without the affection as long as there was conversation. To begin with, anyway. It just doesn't work for me that way!

The same thing goes with friendships as well. Most of my friends are either super chatty or really witty in what they say and have good ideas! I love an interesting mind .

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Lonake
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Registered: Apr 2009

posted April 01, 2012 07:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lonake     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
So, how do you feel close to people?
By making them laugh.
By concerning myself with their hopes/worries/anxieties/fears.
what makes their connection strong/what makes it feel like it lasts and stays with them.
Inside jokes.
Sharing vulnerabilities.
Creating traditions that are unique to our friendship/relationship, no matter how weird or silly.
Sharing new interests with the person so we both know the kind of person we're growing into, because that can easily get lost - people sometimes expect you to be the same kind of person as when you met them & that's not reality, so to me the common courtesy thing to do is to share when values/interests change so you're not stuck there lying to the person, acting in a way that no longer reflects the real you.
When I feel like the person I'm becoming is so far away from the person that they're growing into, esp when it concerns my principles, then I call it a day.

Aquarius Mercury, rules the 3rd, is conj the DSC.

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Aquacheeka
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Posts: 195
From: Toronto, Canada
Registered: Mar 2012

posted April 01, 2012 11:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Aquacheeka     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Through laughter, for the most part. Anyone I get close to has to share a similar sense of humour.

Romantically, I also need a lot of affection and cuddling.

Aquarius Mercury on the cusp (29th degree) in the 7th or 8th house (could be interpreted either way) opposite ascendant.

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