posted April 24, 2012 07:11 AM            

So, I do think that they are much more sensitive than they seem or than one would think. They also tend to let their feelings build and build and build decide the entire fate of the relationship without letting you in on it. That's been my experience. I'm sure that some of the higher-evolved ones would not do that, but I've seen it happen over and over again with people that I've known: holding in anger or dissatisfaction until they can no longer take it, without making it very clear to the other person that things are serious enough/bad enough to lead to an end of a relationship. They'll act differently enough for you to get the impression that they're upset, but they won't let you know just HOW upset they are, or how serious they think that the situation is, why they think that it's that serious, or that they're on the verge of leaving. It can get really frustrating, especially when you (a) don't feel that it's as serious as they think and (b) you'd willing to try to meet them halfway if they would just TALK to you. Now, not all Scorps do that, but I've seen it happen disproportionately with water-sign people in general as opposed to other signs.

The biggest red flags for me are as follows:
--he's suspicious and jealous, yet doesn't hold himself to the same standards to which he holds you
--acting different
--less affection
--not contacting you
--not listening when you express your needs

I've learned from personal experience that when a person stops making an effort, makes excuses, and is no longer communicating or wanting to spend time together, the person definitely has a problem with you, even if they won't come talk about it or tell you why it's so serious to them.

It really does sound to me like he wants out, to be honest.

Scorpios tend not to listen to any pleading. They've already made up their minds that they're done with you, and nothing that say or do can change them--they've already made the decision silently, without telling you.

At the end of the day, a half-arse relationship in which only you participate is just not satisfying. You can't be in a relationship by yourself.

posted April 25, 2012 06:08 AM            

I think that it's pretty cruel of him to want to separate "until you miss each other". He wants you both to be apart until you feel too much emotional pain that you can't stand it. To me, it seems like a way of punishing you.

To be fair to him, though, he really might not know just how much space or time he needs to get over things. I suspect that his coldness is a way to mask his sensitivity and hurt--not that this is acceptable or right, but as a Venus in Scorpio, I do that too sometimes.

However, it is not your fault that he is hurt and choosing to act this way. He is responsible for his own feelings. His feelings are his own, and, while he's not wrong to feel hurt, it's up to him to decide how to express those feelings and what to do with them--that's his burden and task, not yours.

I don't really understand how "being apart until you stop fighting" makes any sense. You can't fight if you're not together/not around each other.

His coldness, to me, suggests that he's really upset and hurt. I have Venus in Scorpio and I can do the same thing. If I just yell at you, or say something rude, you have nothing to worry about, and when I cool down, it can be fixed. If I stop speaking to you, though, that's a loud and clear signal that I am not happy with you. And this is intended for close relations; I don't expect every person I know to be in contact with me, but I do expect it of those who claim that they care about me.

Maybe distance and time would be the best thing.

And if you don't mind my asking--if you don't wish to answer, I'm not offended--but it seems like both of you are deeply unhappy together, even if you might care about each other. Realistically, are your differences reconcilable, or would it be an exhausting effort on both sides to keep the relationship alive and happy? Do you enjoy making that kind of effort and putting that kind of work in, or would you rather find a relationship that feels more natural, that's loving but not so difficult?

Difficult relationships can bring great rewards, but they also mean a lot of trials, a lot of tears, and a lot of endurance. Easier relationships can fall into complacency, but they also tend to be easier to repair and more workable when things go wrong.

I'm not telling you either way what to do or what you should feel--am just posing some questions to help you figure it out for yourself and decide what's best for you. Again, you don't have to answer if the questions make you uncomfortable. I'm just putting them out there for reflection and consideration, if you choose.

And, again, I hope that whatever happens is what would be right, good, and healthy for both of you.

posted April 25, 2012 08:24 AM            

With scorpios, I noticed, you either give up control or lose them. They can love you dearly and passionately but they must have control. This of course doesn't borde well with me, Leo Sun... but for me then, I loved him too much to break his ego, I loved him too much that I gave him the control... but he took it for granted. Scorpios are not going to hand you on a platter all the issues that they have with you. YOU are supposed to know or face the silence treatment..

Scorpio, once decided, they may never change their mind, to get them to change their mind requires a lot of convictions. They make up their decisions for keeps - to quit the relationship or to take you back. Time is required if you are hoping for the latter... Sad to say, you no longer hold the control to the relationship anymore. There is nothing you can do to salvage the relationship... because he knows he has all the cards.

Just my 2 cents..

posted April 26, 2012 11:05 AM            

Hon, I understand you are hurting, confused and not thinking straight... and I've been down that road before.. I was hurting so badly and I did not understand why.. But really, there is nothing we can do. You have already lay your cards down, the next move is his. You can only wait and see if he eventually will come back. Good that you love him enough to leave the door open for him to come back, and let him know that... (I shut him out and threw away the keys )

posted April 28, 2012 02:52 AM            

I really wish you would move on. This is going to be a game for a long time to come if you don't just make a clean break and be done with it. I know it will be hard, but you've got to do it. He already thinks you are wishy-washy anyways. Stop sounding so desperate to please. He doesn't need to know when you are in or out or who you are with. He is not seeking reassurance, he's manipulating you.