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Author
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Topic: Does this Capricorn like me or just playing w me?
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sunlover87
Newflake Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted April 24, 2012 05:42 AM
  
I"ll try to be as brief as possible. Also, I'd like to preface this by saying I acknowledge it is wrong to have feelings for a married man - so let's just leave the morality of this conversation for another time. My interest in this discussion, is understanding the "intent" of this man.
I met a married capricorn man 4 years ago, and he struck my fancy immediately. He is 10 yrs older than I (I'm a pisces), and has been married for almost 30 yrs. He and wife got married at 20 due to pregnancy. We have not had an affair, but he did kiss me once. Both he and I were adamant to not take the physical any farther. However, over the last 3 yrs he have gone through periods of flirtatious texting as well as friendly, supportive discussion, followed by weeks to months of dead silence on his part.
Back in early 2009, he made a couple of slight comments about how its important to him that I trust him (hence no affair) in the event we ever have the opportunity to be together. He has never given me deep insight into his marriage, but has confirmed that they have been unhappy for years. This has kept me waiting for him faithfully since 2009.
I recently found out (not by him) that they have sold their house. He told me he is moving to florida, and I think she moved back to michigan. What I don't know, is if they are separated or getting divorced. I'm afraid to ask, because I know that's TOO in his face for him.
He has been quite playful with me over text and keeps saying he wants to take me out to dinner. He's been saying this for 6 months - but no plans have been made. What do I do with this?
Part of me thinks that he may be waiting for the right time to tell me what's going on, as disclosing such things over text or email isn't his style. The other part of me feels that if he were really interested in me, he'd make the effort to come see me now. He's a very busy man. I know he has little extra time, but I'm kind of hurt that I still have no idea what's going on with him, how he really feels about me, and if we have a future or not.
What are your thoughts? Do I wait a little longer, or do I run?IP: Logged |
Randall
Webmaster Posts: 17763
From: Saturn next to Charmainec
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 24, 2012 09:22 AM
Welcome!------------------
"Never mentally imagine for another that which you would not want to experience for yourself, since the mental image you send out inevitably comes back to you." Rebecca Clark IP: Logged |
Yin
Moderator Posts: 2488
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 24, 2012 09:37 AM
quote:
Originally posted by sunlover87:
What are your thoughts? Do I wait a little longer, or do I run?
There is a third option. Socialize. Go out with friends, do your own thing. Go out on dates with other people. He hasn't moved in any direction and it's been three years. He'll do something if he is so inclined when he feels like it. In the meantime, you don't need to waste your life away waiting for him to make a decision. You are in charge of your own time on this earth. Use it wisely. IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 2485
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted April 24, 2012 10:03 AM
Speaking as a Capricorn man, he's wasting your time and stringing you along with his most un-Capricorn like behavior. This is no affair and I don't think he ever wants one. He's enjoying the part time emotional relationship and yet remains uncommittsl and unforthright. Stop wasting your time. That is my honest assessment. Best wishes. IP: Logged |
sunlover87
Newflake Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Apr 2012
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posted April 24, 2012 10:32 AM
Thank you! In my head I know you're right. Its my heart that has been getting in the way. I deserve better. Certainly. I have been on many dates over the last year, but none of those men compared to "him". I couldn't continue to date them knowing that they didn't match up. In any event, you both are right. I need to drop it and move on. I wish I had to courage to actually TELL him that - I feel I also deserve that closure. How do I say that?...what to say? IP: Logged |
Yin
Moderator Posts: 2488
From:
Registered: Apr 2009
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posted April 24, 2012 10:40 AM
Do you need to tell him anything? By the sound of it, you don't owe him anything. Give closure to yourself. If you must make it clear to him: write him a letter (email etc.) and put it all down. Even if you don't send the letter, this will be a good closure exercise for you. There is a thread of cutting emotional ties somewhere here in Soul Unions. I'll try to link you to it. It's worked for me in the past. Stay strong. When you are ready to close one door, another one will open for you.  Here is a thread I found: http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum2/HTML/003992.html IP: Logged |
YoursTrulyAlways
Knowflake Posts: 2485
From:
Registered: Oct 2011
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posted April 24, 2012 04:48 PM
It's easy for me to be on the Internet and tell you to be strong, but that is exactly what you have to do. If you are not inclined to see him face to face, then just communicate to him that this has to end. It was never appropriate in the first place, and where he is in relation to his wife is no concern of yours. You clearly deserve better. Pick up your marbles move on and the next playground will be much better. I assure you. IP: Logged |
lilithpluto
Knowflake Posts: 838
From: pluto
Registered: Dec 2011
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posted April 24, 2012 08:04 PM
I agree with Ian n Yin. Time to move on... 4 years is too many chances given. IP: Logged |
LetsDance
Knowflake Posts: 109
From:
Registered: May 2009
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posted April 28, 2012 03:20 AM
If he's been married for 30 years and just now separating from his wife, he's probably not looking for anything serious with someone in the near future. If you ask him, I think he will tell you that plainly without sounding like he is rejecting you. You have a place in his life and it will be you who will determine the boundaries for yourself. Whatever you decide take responsibility for your choice. It will be easier to live with.IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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