posted November 13, 2012 05:02 PM            

I met my Libra online. We were a 99% match after 750+ questions, and wanted to meet each other asap after our first conversation in which we instantly connected through our parallel beliefs in what God is, our persistence in seeking truth, and our desires to lead a zero-impact existence while doing our part in progressing our society towards sustainability, locally. We met the next day. The moment I opened my door I knew this would be a significant person in my life, I just felt it. As an Aries I often listen to my intuition. We spent hours and hours talking, and although neither of us is the type to kiss on the first date, he asked me if he could and I let him. Later on that day, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Neither of us are the type for labels in relationships either, but since day 1 we were together and it was bliss. I was not in a place where I was looking for a relationship, but he made me fall in love with him. As an Aries, I cannot stay blind to something real. I thrive on what is honest, and this sure felt that way.

My Libra was in college and started becoming very stressed out as it got closer to finals week. A few weeks before finals, he broke it off, and I did not see it coming. I was heartbroken, and couldn't understand why this was happening. It made me feel alone to think that he wasn't feeling this anymore, but later on I found out this was not the case. We didn't talk for a month before we got together again. After a meeting or two, we were back to where we were at the beginning,- in each others arms and loving the unbelievable comfort of being together. A few weeks later he declared "If we weren't officially together, we are now." I giggled at his attitude, but went along with it. It is sometimes nice when the man takes charge, even though I am a masculine sign myself, I like it when people know what they want. This is the second time he firmly expressed he wanted me. Our relationship was great, except for one little part,- he is very introverted, and though he expressed his desire to be more outgoing, it was very hard to get him to come out. And after month's of hearing "I don't want to go" I got influenced by my friends opinions. Girls said they had never been with a guy that wasn't all over them to spend time together, and it made me feel bad, like something was wrong, even though I am a person who appreciates solitude as well, and often when I am out with friends I have this pain all over my body and an overwhelming sense that it is a waste of time. (My Libra has expressed this same feeling before as well) So in my heart I knew this had nothing to do with me, but I let my friends words get to me, and overreacted the next time he said no. I wished he would care enough about me to suck it up, and come out with me so my friends would stop comparing him to my ex, who had NO passion for life whatsoever. All along though I knew he was nowhere near to how my ex was and felt bad for even having these thoughts. That night, after the outing, he picked me up and we had a good conversation, and great sex. He kissed me more passionately than normal. He forgave me for overreacting, but it was not forgotten, and I didn't get an opportunity to prove I had learned from this situation, because a few days later he broke up with me again. I found out that he had been thinking about breaking it off the night he picked me up from the show, but we ended up having sex instead. Go figure.

4 days had passed since the 2nd break up when I got a phone call from my Libra. He said he had been missing me and realized how special our communication truly is. He could be completely honest to who he is with me, and that made me feel good. I pass no judgement, I instil no criticism, but I couldn't say anything back. After this break-up, my trust is completely broken. He had told me a girl he knew in high school told him she used to have a crush on him, which got him thinking that maybe someone else would make him happier. I thought that was bs, because I am a big believer in will power and that it is up to the individual to find happiness in themselves before seeking it in another, this also turned me off. I like strength, and this made him seem very weak. I felt that he was with me because he had low self esteem, also a turn off. I love and care for this person deeply though, so I told him the truth- he could have any girl he wanted. So back to 4 days after the 2nd breakup, he tells me he misses me, I say nothing back, we talk on the phone for an hour or two, and that's that. The next day my friend bails on driving me to an interview, and my Libra offers to drive me, saying he'd been wanting to see me. At this point it's only been 5 days since the break up. After the interview we talk. He says things like "I was so much happier when I was with you, and just talking to you and having you in my life gets me back to feeling that same way again, I feel good. I was much happier when we were together... What do you think?" I couldn't say anything more than "I want you to be happy." I meant this, with or without me, but I couldn't go th distance to say "Okay, then let's get back together." We kissed that night and it was left at the same crossroads. The next day he calls me after work and asks if I want to meet up, I say yes and we go out to dinner. Here are the highlights of what he said "You've been so good to me, and you're such a great friend." "You forever have a special place in my heart." "I feel like since the moment we met we just instantly understood each other." "Today my boss was talking about him and his wife, and saying how you should marry someone who is your best friend. What I'm trying to come around to is I want to be with you again." "You make me a better me." and something along the lines of "I can't imagine living my life and not having you in it" which he has said before while we were dating. His asking me out again left me frozen and I couldn't say anything once again. He saw this and said "im sorry, I shouldve waited, I would've gotten around to it." I said thats okay, let's just put it on a shelf for a while. I didn't tell him this yet, but I don't trust him. I don't know how long it will take to get back to trusting him, but I don't atm and I can't love someone I do not trust. The only problem in our relationship was me putting stress on him to come out and have fun with me and my friends (he expressed the other night that he actually appreciates this and needs this because he wants to experience more things and he recongnizes that I balance him this way) but even that isn't important to me. I am perfectly content with having him and going out to see music with my friends, I don't need to be a duo everywhere I go, I really appreciate being an individual in a relationship and having that freedom to be yourself. I just don't know what to do though. Libra's can be so confusing, and all I've seen people say so far is a Libra usually doesn't come back. Mine is trying to... what does this mean? Is he closer to making that realization that I am the one for him, or is he just being selfish and wants to be with me just cause it makes him feel better? I told him I cannot be with him just because it is beneficial to him, and he was very glad I said that. I think he doesn't want me to be a pushover, which is great cause I am far from it. My Libra has been jumping the gun with me from the beginning, weather its getting together or breaking up, letting assumptions speak for me, rather than asking and letting me answer myself. I had been a profound listener, and I love to hear him talk, but he hasn't been really listening to me, and he recognizes now (after the second break-up) that he can be self absorbed.

So here it is... I need help, bad. This mightbe a whole lot of information, but I'm really hoping an interested libra will help me make sense of this boy. I cannot decide what to do, or find any comfort in advice elsewhere. What does all this mean to a Libra? Should I take him back, or is he back without good reason? Please help, I'd love to hear anything at all that anyone has to say. Thanks. (we started dating in feb, broke up for may, and have been dating since june until Halloween and now here I am... not sure weather to call or do something else... I am awful and hate "love games", I prefer being honest, but all my gf's say I should play the game so Im here for advice...help!!)

posted November 15, 2012 01:59 AM            

As a Libra female, the first thing that comes to mind is Libra is Lazy compared to Aries and we would rather hang out at home with a partner than go out ALL the time.

Now, as someone who has done extensive reading on the subject of male/female relationships, what comes to mind is the male intimacy cycle when they get close and then pull away. Let them do that and trust them to come back with all the passion they had before (instead of forcing a break up so he can have some time to pull away and be a HE instead of a WE for a while) and he will begin to take less time to pull away in the years to come. The more he likes you and wants you, the more he feels like he is losing himself as he blends with you and more he will need to pull away and find himself. It is scary for guys.
So, when he starts to get fruity each month or so and you see it starting again... ask him if it's ok if you have a girl's night out, instead of indirectly (or directly Aries style) giving him the impression that he is not pleasing you (to him that means FAILING you) by not going out. This is how YOU will be trustworthy and therefore you will begin to see that he is also trustworthy and the two of you are just seeing things from different perspectives. Don't screw this one up, it sounds wonderful. He is just scared because he knows how serious it is and he doesn't want to fail you and he's not sure he's got what it takes to please you for your whole life. If he does, you better act like it and not just nag him and make him think that he is letting you down and not good enough and a disappointment. Because it sounds like you love him and he loves you.