Lindaland
  Soul Unions
  Can't Figure Him Out

Post New Topic  Post A Reply
profile | register | preferences | faq

UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone! next newest topic | next oldest topic
Author Topic:   Can't Figure Him Out
moonlightx
Knowflake

Posts: 50
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted January 11, 2013 02:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonlightx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'll start off by saying, I've known this guy for about 3 years. We were formally co-workers but as of a year ago, we no longer are. After he quit, I friended him on Facebook and that (paired with IMing) is how we've kept in contact.

During the time we worked together, I thought he might be giving me signals that he was into me (such as making excuses to touch me (by giving high fives), asking questions about my personal life, actively avoiding talking about females around me, and one time I even caught him staring at me with the sappiest look on his face.

However, there would also be times when he'd go cold on me and wouldn't talk to me at all even though on the previous day, he had been friendly.

I've told myself multiple times to just let it go and move on but for some reason, I can't. I'm constantly thinking about him and in the few months after he quit and we weren't in contact with each other, I felt as if I had missed out on something. I constantly had dreams about him up until the point I finally decided to add him on FB.

We then got back into contact and he still seemed at least friendly to me. He'd comment on and like my posts/pictures. One day I decided to take it further and tried IMing him only to get no response. Tried another day and received the same treatment. I was angry and upset, so I decided I was done from that point on.

True to my word, I did not log back on at all for months and months. Then, one day, he dropped by at my job and we caught up. He mentioned the whole IM thing, saying he, "didn't know why he didn't respond back" but hinted that he wanted me to continue logging on.

And so, I did, and this time, he initiated conversation.

Anyway, I made this post because once again I am confused. A couple of days ago, he logged on to wish me a happy birthday and we chatted for a while. Tonight, he logged in for a couple of minutes then logged back off. This isn't the first time he's done this and I am baffled.

It seems as if, once we start to become close, he wants to back off again.

(As an aside, the last girl he dated broke up with him, so he may be extra cautious now.)

Here's some info. I do not have his TOB.

- ME -

Sun: Capricorn (conjunct Mercury, Neptune, Saturn)
Moon: Gemini (trine Venus)
Mercury: Capricorn (conjunct Neptune, Saturn)
Venus: Aquarius
Mars: Sagittarius
Ascendant: Cancer (opposite Sun, Mercury, Saturn, Neptune, trine Pluto)

- HIM -

Sun: Gemini (opposite Saturn & Uranus, sextile Jupiter)
Moon: Scorpio (opposite Venus)
Mercury: Cancer (conjunct Mars, opposite Neptune, trine Pluto)
Venus: Taurus
Mars: Cancer (conjunct Mars, opposite Neptune, trine Pluto)
Ascendant: ?

And our some of our synastry...

Sun quincunx Sun (1 degree)
Sun opposite Mars (4 degrees, both ways)
Sun trine North Node (2 degrees)
Moon sextile North Node (3 degrees)
Moon conjunct Sappho (3 degrees)
Moon conjunct Amor (4 degrees)
Mercury opposite Neptune (exact)
Mercury conjunct Ascendant (2 degrees)
Venus square Pluto (3 degrees)
Venus sextile North Node (4 degrees)
Venus trine Eros (2 degrees)
Venus sextile IC (1 degree)
Mars conjunct Saturn (3 degrees)
Mars opposite Saturn (3 degrees)
Mars opposite Neptune (1 degree)
Mars trine Pluto (4 degrees)
Mars conjunct Chiron (exact)
Mars conjunct Ascendant (1 degree)
Mars trine Juno (2 degrees)
Pluto conjunct Valentine (exact)

And not sure if this counts, but there's an out of sign conjunction of Venus & Moon by 6 degrees.

His Sun, Mercury, & Mars falls into my 12th house. His moon & Pluto falls into my 5th house, and his Venus falls into my 11th house.

Any insight? (If not on what I could do, then on why I feel so attached to him?)

IP: Logged

Yin
Moderator

Posts: 3097
From:
Registered: Apr 2009

posted January 11, 2013 07:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Yin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
From what you wrote it just looks like he is not that into you. He wants to be friends but that's it. Don't waste your time. I'm sorry.

IP: Logged

SDragon
Newflake

Posts: 21
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted January 11, 2013 02:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for SDragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If those are all your aspects hitting his North Node, maybe you just feel familiar with him because you think you can help him grow somehow?

IP: Logged

moonlightx
Knowflake

Posts: 50
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted January 11, 2013 09:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonlightx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you both for your responses.

Yin - I've considered that, but I still find his behavior odd for someone who just wants to be friends. It's inconsistent no matter what his motive may be and I just want to know why. That's what's bugging me the most. I'm fine with just being friends should he have no feelings for me. None of my other guy friends have ever behaved this way.

SDragon - His Sun trines my North Node, my Moon sextiles his North Node, my Venus sextiles his North Node, my Jupiter squares his North Node, his Saturn trines my North Node, and my Neptune/Uranus squares his North Node.

More of my aspects are hitting his North Node, and yeah, I do feel like I can help him grow, but I also feel there are things I could learn from him. Overall, there's just a feeling of "we're not finished yet" or, "we're supposed to be together" (whether it's as friends, or more.)

Guess I'll try talking to him. :/

IP: Logged

SDragon
Newflake

Posts: 21
From: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Registered: Sep 2012

posted January 12, 2013 09:40 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for SDragon     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I think it might have something to do with your lack of water signs. Your only water sign is a Cancer Asc. so the first impression you sometimes give is not who you are. He has at least 3 water signs in Mars, Mercury and Moon so he might be expecting more of an emotional vibe which he's not feeling from you.

It's like looking at something from afar and thinking, "Hey, it's just like me" and then getting closer and thinking, "Oh, maybe not". But your groundedness might be good for him and his emotional depth might be good for you, but ya, just try talking - don't try making castles in the sky.

IP: Logged

Mystic Melody
Moderator

Posts: 422
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010

posted January 15, 2013 09:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm a Cap moon/AC and I had a similar Gemini friend person. I asked him why he did things like that, he said, "I'm elusive" all proud of himself like any self respecting Air sign. (I'm a Libra, so I understand.) The thing is that all of those water influences make him extra sensitive to things he perceives or THINKS HE PERCEIVES. I agree with Yin though... if you can be friends, do it, but if you don't get closer soon then it is probably not meant to be in the long run. I also believe in learning from the people that The Universe places in our paths as well... just be open to what it is meant to be as opposed to what you WANT it to be.

IP: Logged

Nine
Moderator

Posts: 1359
From: The Cusp of Love
Registered: May 2009

posted January 16, 2013 10:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Nine     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mars in Cancer, bleh. So sensitive, so vindictive, such a pain in the ass.

IP: Logged

Lazyscarecrow
Knowflake

Posts: 1048
From: Silent Hill
Registered: Aug 2011

posted January 17, 2013 01:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lazyscarecrow     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
When I read the first few paragraphs, I had him pegged as a Gemini before you even gave placements.

I went through the same with with a Gemini Sun with Cancer placements, like Mars. He would come forward, then scuttle away, then act disinterested, and then suddenly be fully interested. Eventually, he came up with some bs about why he could not see me, promised to do so another time, and I never heard from him again.

I could not tell you what you have to do to get him to commit, and if it were me I'd let him go, because there could be a possibility he has a few other options he's exercising... or just doesn't know what he wants. Geminis are easily bored and like someone who is endlessly interesting. Consistency to them is suffocating... which is probably why my super fixed self is not so much into them. But yeah... I think he either doesn't know what he wants or he's talking to a few other ladies. Either way, I would not press or pursue him, or he'll disappear into thin air.

As for why you feel attached, your Moon seems to be responding to some key asteroids there. The quincunx can feel very mystical and romantic because the two people involved are different elements, different modalities, different people but are enamored with each other regardless.

IP: Logged

moonlightx
Knowflake

Posts: 50
From:
Registered: Nov 2011

posted January 22, 2013 06:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for moonlightx     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
SDragon - It could be (although I do have Jupiter in Cancer as well as Chiron & Pluto (in Scorpio the 5th) as well as several Neptune conjunctions/oppositions. I'm just not outwardly emotional. Still, he very well may feel that way.

Mystic Melody - I agree on the whole Universe thing. Maybe it's my 7th House stellium wanting to know what's wrong so I can fix it. But at the same time, after so many chances and attempts to better things, there comes a time when I get fed up and decide to end things.

Nine - He's the only Mars in Cancer that I know of, so I can't say that they're all like this. I do know people with Cancer placements and yes, they are sensitive (in both positive & negative ways.)

Lazyscarecrow - That's exactly how he behaves. :/ I don't really appreciate his lack of a reason as to why he never responded to my first attempts to message him. But as soon as I disappeared on him, he came running.

I haven't been chasing him at all though. I figure, if he wants to talk with me, that's fine, and if he doesn't, also fine. I'd love some consistency but I guess I'll never get it, even within a friendship.

Thanks for the insight on the quincunx aspect. I can see that playing out between us.

--

Overall, I guess my thing is, why even try to reconnect with me when you're not going to put in the effort to build a stronger foundation? I feel, either be my friend, or don't (and if I did something wrong, please tell me), but do not behave in a wishy-washy sort of manner.

IP: Logged

Mystic Melody
Moderator

Posts: 422
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010

posted January 24, 2013 08:00 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mystic Melody     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
lol Nine and LazyScarecrow

moonlightx... YOU don't decide to end things... The Universe decides. you can't just make yourself stop thinking about him or make him stop contacting you or stopping by work if the spirit moves him or the wind blows him or whatever... and you can't control how you will feel if he does that... or if he does not.
The only thing you can do is be good person and try your best to learn and be at peace while the energy plays out. You already set it into motion. There is no escape. To steal an astro friend's quote... all you can do is steer the trip.

IP: Logged

All times are Eastern Standard Time

next newest topic | next oldest topic

Administrative Options: Close Topic | Archive/Move | Delete Topic
Post New Topic  Post A Reply
Hop to:

Contact Us | Linda-Goodman.com

Copyright 2013

Powered by Infopop www.infopop.com © 2000
Ultimate Bulletin Board 5.46a