posted September 23, 2013 11:30 PM            

From what experiences ive read its a tough relationship.
I see it a relationship thats like a magnet to a magnet, you know how magnets when you get them close without touching the energies feed off each other in a negative way, they create an energy or tension that forcefully pushes on the others energy, pushing them away from each other?
Then suddenly they get too close and are pulled together rather harshly and with a bang!

They seem to feed off each others differences, its a push and pull that breaks each other down or they become stronger together. Some do it in a calm way, some in a combative way. They push each other out of their comfort zones and some people appreciate it and others hate the other for it and run. Many times the pull is too strong to get away for long and they are drawn back into the tug of war.

I think twin flames are meant to make you stronger by showing you what your lacking and how your not open to expanding ideas to grow.

I think the soulmate understands who you are supposed to be, they have known you before and can see the places life has changed you for better or worse, they know your behavior and see whats the real you and what isnt. They help you see it by mirroring the situations that created the issues and forcing you see deal with them again, of course this is subconscious 8th/12th house type stuff usually.

Your probably not going to feel as understood by a twin flame, even though they are part of you and in my opinion closer to you than a soulmate, in the same way a twin would be closer to you than your boy/girlfriend or wife/husband. Its just a relationship that is there wither you want it or not.
They might be the part of you that you rejected or something you admire and want to be, but dont know how.

To me a good twin flame relationship will come when you realize your ready to change, open up and explore yourself through others without prejudice.
A bad twin flame relationship will come because maybe you have shut down to learning new ways or stubbornly refuse to see anything your not familiar with you judge as not being right or having value, the universe is sending help to open you up.

With a twin flame, you have an equally willed person with an opposite desire, you learn to compromise and share the power or lose the relationship.

I think your going to meet the type of mate you need, soulmate or twin flame...they teach very different lessons.

posted September 25, 2013 08:23 PM            

quote:

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Originally posted by hikoro:
first, ive made relationship mistakes myself, so, not trying to come up as haughty
but, im finding it slightly disturbing that....
across the board, twin soul relationships (and some soulmate relationships) are often painful for the parties (usually the woman getting the short end of the stick), and one person, usually, the man, runs hot and cold...but, in spite of all of the awful moments, the relationship is....special and meant to be.
honestly, when i take out the words 'soulmate' and 'twin souls' when reading about these relationships....a lot of these relationships seem...well kind of toxic with hints of emotional manipulation and abuse. they do not seem like healthy relationships at all.

i find it uncomfortable that it is usually women who seem to be placing these relationships on a pedestal when, it doesnt look like it is making them happy in the long run...unless you're a glutton for punishment, and drama = love, for you.

are these relationships being judged objectively? i mean, arent these actually toxic relationships being judged as "transforming" by justifying them with a veneer of 'soulmate' and 'twin soul' fluffy goodness?
i dunno, maybe it is just me, but it just seems to me that the literature encourages women to tolerate crap and settle for damaged men.

if i don't encourage people to stay with abusers then, i have no reason to be open-minded about a soulmate/twin soul relationship if it is causing a friend pain. i dont care how 'transforming' or coincidental or magical, and if the number 11 appeared or if angels came announcing it in dreams..i dont care.
sure, relationships arent perfect, but...you guys understand what i mean...

maybe im wrong, but what i see is the typical cliche of the woman being the martyr/saviour to a man who seems to suffer from some attachment disorder/is not into you/egocentric-selfish.

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hikoro

could not have said it better myself

posted September 27, 2013 05:26 AM            

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Originally posted by GypseeWind:
Hikiro there used to be a girl that was a member here, and every month or two months she would have her synastry up in astro with a new guy that she was just positive was her soulmate or twin soul. It got to be humorous to me.

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i see that in many astro message boards

quote:

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I've often wondered why everything these days has to seem so vibey and special and fated.
I was a young woman in the 80's and we dated just to date and have fun! It seems like it is just part of the culture now to constantly be on the lookout for 'The One'.
That is a whole lot of pressure on both parties, imho.

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maybe because.... people want some of the past with nicer and idealistic reasoning.
in other words, way back then, women would marry and the marriage would last forever, however, these people tended to marry more out of duty, not romance and, the woman depended on the man financially, thus more likely to stay together. as to the men, they also did it out of duty, and many of them had mistresses on the side. heck, some men just wanted to flee (as you implied in your thread, men are more likely to have this run and flee response psychologically) regardless, if you look at those past marriages, you see a woman who is with "this one and only" for many years to come.

now, some women want this but today, we have romance (very modern addition to dating) and we no longer need men financially, so...what to do if we still like the idea of being with that special person for many years to come? well, lets add the soulmate/twin flame explanation, which will build up and theorize this ideal, but...let's be honest, the 'one and only' has never been the ideal or realistic. if the one and only has roots in the past, well, those circumstances were not very favorable to women at all, as it has been explained.
adding to this, romance and romanticism is very modern too.
so, it seems that it is a combination of societal changes and expectations, and imo, the new age movement sells this to women, it is quite a business.

i think that if i saw more folks, other than straight women into this, the topic would have more of an objective basis...yes, i say straight women because not even the lgbtq community is saturated with the soulmate theme and generally speaking, straight men are indifferent to it or dont care.

i do agree about you in terms of the pressure.
i mean, some women develop very high expectations when they decide x guy is their soulmate/twin flame, and most of the time, it seems the men cannot meet those expectations. but heck, i actually think that, on average, guys are simpler in dating than women, whereas women are overanalyzing things more.

posted September 28, 2013 02:32 PM            

I cant take the ride anymore!
The highs in these 'fated love' relationships in my opinion are higher than the highs in a genuine relationship, and the lows are way lower! Its more like a drug than a relationship!
The relationships that grab you and you can't let go are usually based on a need. You dont want to go into a relationship because you need something, you want to go into a relationship because the person is an asset to you, you enjoy them, they make you happy....not miserable and euphoric at the same time! These relationships are like explosions, a big bang and then they are gone, and your left with the injuries.

posted October 02, 2013 01:04 PM            

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Originally posted by Gabby:
Soulamtes/Twin souls show you things about your soul you couldn't see without them being an amplifier and mirror of the energy...it could be a good energy they bring out but more often than not, its a bad energy you need to purge!
Once you purge the energy, the need and desire for that soulmate will disappear also!

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This! Once you have purged and learned, they often leave your life

posted October 05, 2013 03:07 AM            

There are both toxic and non-toxic soulmate relationships.

And there are also toxic and non-toxic random/'new' relationship (relationships that are not necessarily with a close soulmate or twin soul, but rather someone you meet afresh in this lifetime).