Posts: 46
From: london, UK
Registered: Jul 2011

posted September 09, 2013 05:11 AM            

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hi

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Posts: 7968
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010

posted September 09, 2013 05:28 AM            

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Hi, belle! What happened?

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Posts: 46
From: london, UK
Registered: Jul 2011

posted September 09, 2013 05:28 AM            

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ok.
where to begin?
i am overwhelmed with emotions, yet feel nothing, what a contradiction.
tryin to summarise or this message may never end.
i am a sag, he is a libra.
my moon is cancer, his is virgo.
asc leo, him aries.
both venus in scorpio.
been in love for 9 years. up, down, up, down.
we have been separated but together since april this year.
had a big blow up a month ago.
so much love hard to let go.
things we want are different.
he rarely compromises. won't make any efforts with my friends or family.
has terrible mood swings, bi-polar (potentially) and a severe anger issue (stems from mum)
my issue is the behavioural issues but also his lack of effort for me> don't get me wrong he is a excellent partner in most other respects, he cooks, cleans and understands emotions and listens, truly listens like most men never do (he listens to me and i feel loves me more than anyone else in my life)
yet, he says he does not give a **** about anyone in my life. only me.
he has made it very clear, where he stands on this.
it is easy to say move on if you are not willing to accept this.
but there are so many layers and issues that would be too in-depth to go into on here.
i know only i have the answers but i guess i just need some feedback.
feel like he compartmentalises his life so much and it makes me feel very isolated,

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Posts: 46
From: london, UK
Registered: Jul 2011

posted September 09, 2013 05:45 AM            

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we are both at the point where we are not together> the blow up resulted in him taking all of his things in anger>
but we have spent the past few days together loved up but afraid to talk. had another stand off/ disagreement last night.
it stands as he feels he will never make me happy because we want different things.
he says, he wants to be with me, to be a family together but he can't keep feeling like this. feeling guilty about anything he does.
that i make him feel so bad about things that aren't even bad things> ( he's going to a friends wedding sat) but was hesitant about mentioning it because of my reaction. first of all, it was i don't like his friends, then he said the seating plan and reservations had already been done. etc etc.
its not even the wedding.
but the compartmentalising, the controlling things, the awkwardness he feels so much and tries to control it, its like he tries to play god, he never lets things happen naturally.
i know where i stand i guess, he has told me what he wants.
but his selfishness is unfair, you would think a libra could see this> maybe I'm the selfish one.
i just don't think i ask to much doesn't everyone who has a partner have a social life with their friends and/ or family/
don't get me wrong we do do some things, occasionally with his friends.
tbh its not so much the friends thing< coz most of my friends have partners who are the same and they seem to have altered their social lives to that of their partners.
its more to do with how he has got to the point now especially since we've been on the low point where he won't be in the house if anyone else is here>>> its not 'normal'

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Posts: 46
From: london, UK
Registered: Jul 2011

posted September 09, 2013 05:48 AM            

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excuse all the grammatical errors etc, writing this in a rush. don't have a lot of time.

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Posts: 46
From: london, UK
Registered: Jul 2011

posted September 09, 2013 06:04 AM            

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hi hera, thanks for the reply.
feeling at a complete crossroads> so many thoughts and issues I'm trying to work out. I'm a sag, so I'm trying to leave it to the gods and let fate, whatever happens.. take its natural course. but also feel i need now to just make a decision and move forward. we have a beautiful daughter and need to make the right decision for her life and future.
everything feels so complicated and messy right now.
in the past whenever I've tried to move on he always comes back.
he is truly the only person i have ever been intrigued, attracted to and in love with> I'm not someone who is attracted to many people, connections are very rare.
he has a major jealousy issue i feel towards my family, and always says i put them first> which i disagree with.
he is controlling (mars:cap) and is not happy unless he is in control and has things his way.

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Posts: 56
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013

posted September 11, 2013 01:22 PM            

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belle. Nine years is a long time. Have you considered couples counseling?

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Posts: 46
From: london, UK
Registered: Jul 2011

posted October 04, 2013 04:10 PM            

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hi

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Posts: 46
From: london, UK
Registered: Jul 2011

posted October 04, 2013 04:19 PM            

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I did add a reply but it must never have fine through and haven't been on here. Thanks for the response. We talked about doing it previously, but at the moment finances and time are tight. We have been tryna work through things, and he has been trying to amend his issues, i kinda feel flat a lot of the time although i love him so much. Like, he has friends on tap, his phone is constantly ringing off the hook but its not that i don't have friends i just don't feel that connection or sense of desire to chat and do stuff or just be with people. i feel content on own and relaxed if not sometimes lonely coz i know the codes and conventions of society. .. hmmm. Any thoughts?

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