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Author
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Topic: Committment Phobes, let's talk that L.O.V.E. bugaboo...
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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake Posts: 74
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted October 03, 2013 04:03 PM
  
Ok, I never really thought about it before, I always thought it was the "other guy" who isn't ready to commit, but after reading about my mars being in gemini, I may have been wrong. I really want true intimacy and true love and trust, but I'm thinking that it is a pipe dream even though I keep reaching for it, (if only in my mind  ) based on what people say that I am looking for something perfect and there is no such thing. I'm wondering if I am thinking about this and as a result, it's influence is triggering this commitment phobia love bugaboo that I never knew I may have! Any one else experienced this? IP: Logged |
Newrise
Knowflake Posts: 392
From: Los angeles
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted October 03, 2013 05:02 PM
Wow, do I relate! I have mars in Gemini and strong Uranus. But I also have strong Saturn and Venus in Pisces. I have a huge commitment phobia! But I also want mergence of the souls, and the other side of it - devotion and commitment. Bah  IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks
Knowflake Posts: 74
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted October 03, 2013 05:53 PM
@NewRise,did you always think it was the other person who couldn't commit or you always knew it was you? I have ven/pisces too! maybe it's the mutable signs that have this issue? lolIP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks
Knowflake Posts: 74
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted October 03, 2013 05:58 PM
I wonder am I attracted to men who are commitment phobes or otherwise "not ready" for serious commitment because maybe I am projecting that? I just don't know! I've been involved with men who do want to make a committment to me, but it almost scares me because I just can't seem to let go of my own self-protection! lol What is going on with me? 
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Newrise
Knowflake Posts: 392
From: Los angeles
Registered: Jul 2013
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posted October 04, 2013 04:21 AM
Hmm I have had strange experiences with this - it'd be hard for me to explain it. But I think you're right about projecting. We need to get our heads straight, as in get ourself aligned to what we want, before we can have a healthy relationship And I so know that it is hard  And I can't imagine a future where I will be satisfied in every possible way, especially since I am ever evolving, the 'mutableness' in us, but never underestimate the Universe. Let's stay hopeful and try to work through our stuff IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks
Knowflake Posts: 74
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted October 05, 2013 05:59 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Newrise:
Hmm I have had strange experiences with this - it'd be hard for me to explain it. But I think you're right about projecting. We need to get our heads straight, as in get ourself aligned to what we want, before we can have a healthy relationship And I so know that it is hard And I can't imagine a future where I will be satisfied in every possible way, especially since I am ever evolving, the 'mutableness' in us, but never underestimate the Universe. Let's stay hopeful and try to work through our stuff
Yeah, it could be the mutableness, but there are fixed/cardinal signs that are commitment phobes as well. Male capricorns kind of top the list (from my experience, but there are others from all four elements). However in the case of the former, they would call it "being sure" that they are making the right decision by taking their time. Fools rush in, as they say. For caps (or other non-mutables), this is perceived as a positive when actually it is just plain old fear of intimacy! So while I'm thinking that my approach to love and intimacy could be commitment phobia, I could say I just want to be sure that I am the right woman for the man arriving at the right time and vice versa.
Anyone experienced a broken heart can surely relate to being a bit gun-shy because that pain is for Real. I've been there, and not just with a significant other, but even in other social relationships where disappointment can be so shocking and painful, it's almost surreal. So is being cautious mean one is a commitment phobe or something else?
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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake Posts: 74
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted October 05, 2013 09:00 PM
Right, so I was surfing around and found this blog. I don't know if link will be deleted from LL since it's pointing to a different website, so if I've broken any rules here, please be nice in letting me know. This blog looked a little interesting and the comments are basically coming from people who HAVE committed to relationships but feel that they may be commitment phobes!So here it is: http://www.elsaelsa.com/astrology/2013/09/25/help-for-commitment-phobics/ There's a cost to the workshop, though. I haven't decided if I want to sign up. IP: Logged |
Hera
Moderator Posts: 8240
From: Aries fantasy land ^_^
Registered: Sep 2010
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posted October 06, 2013 02:15 PM
From what I know it's not against the rules. IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 638
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted October 07, 2013 06:20 PM
We love links  The only LL rule is that you can't copy/paste the blog and then not give proper credit, or otherwise violate any legal copyright rules.IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 638
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted October 07, 2013 06:26 PM
Mutable means you like change so if you don't commit you are being true to your self and having the integrity to be honest with your "other". You probably have other planets that aren't mutable and want a commitment. It is just a matter of Knowing Thyself and which parts of you would be tempted to stray and determining what kind of relationship you REALLY want and then being honest about it. For example, if your moon/heart/emotions is in a sign that wants the security of a partner, you could want to commit to a person whose planets aspect your moon favorably and a lot. Maybe if they also have their Saturn gently reigning in your mutable signs, that might help too.
At least, that's what I think....
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sugarflapjacks
Knowflake Posts: 74
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted October 07, 2013 11:39 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
Mutable means you like change so if you don't commit you are being true to your self and having the integrity to be honest with your "other". You probably have other planets that aren't mutable and want a commitment. It is just a matter of Knowing Thyself and which parts of you would be tempted to stray and determining what kind of relationship you REALLY want and then being honest about it. For example, if your moon/heart/emotions is in a sign that wants the security of a partner, you could want to commit to a person whose planets aspect your moon favorably and a lot. Maybe if they also have their Saturn gently reigning in your mutable signs, that might help too.
At least, that's what I think....
You know what? What you said makes alot of sense. I DO want a committed relationship but I just have to KNOW if the man is just as committed as I am. If I sense any form of uncertainity, it's exit, stage left, for me! I have a moon in the sign of cancer the crab, it's also in my fifth house and I believe this sign does crave security which is probably why I am so very independent (even though I would LOVE to just relax and be vulnerable) to establish my own sense of security through my work, my faith in God and love of family.MysticMelody, (cool name, btw) wouldn't it be great if I could just pre-screen the men I meet with the right questions to find out what you said? I know you can't answer that lol but I do like what you said. You know, it's been said that opposites attract and likes stay together. Hmmm, lately commitment phobes have been coming across my path (so maybe they are my opposite because we don't stay togehter?) Because when I tell them I am looking for a serious relationship, they kinda back off. I'm all for taking it slow so I have no idea what they are afraid of. IP: Logged |
Mystic Melody
Moderator Posts: 638
From: IL
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted October 08, 2013 02:41 PM
You "just" have to learn the complicated science of synastry. ;D Or be rich enough to pay an astrologer every time you have a crush. HA. I'm learning synastry.  hehe Hey, it's only been about two decades... I'm getting closer to understanding anyway... IP: Logged |
sugarflapjacks
Knowflake Posts: 74
From: southeasternseaboard
Registered: Sep 2013
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posted October 08, 2013 05:00 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Mystic Melody:
You "just" have to learn the complicated science of synastry. ;D Or be rich enough to pay an astrologer every time you have a crush. HA. I'm learning synastry. hehe Hey, it's only been about two decades... I'm getting closer to understanding anyway...
Yes, it seems that is most perfect route! And, this is probably what couples have to do anyways, right? maybe not that they know astrology or synastry, but they are willing to understand each other and compromise during the rough times. guess even in that, though, they would have to have some aspects of their personalities that kick in at those times... Pardon me, I'm just thinking out loud now
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Odette
Knowflake Posts: 2801
From:
Registered: May 2012
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posted October 09, 2013 01:46 AM
I do have some mutable energy - but I'm more cardinal than mutable and I just feel disinterested in commitment.
I am not all that into it - I would't say I am phobic either.
It's interesting that you mentioned Capricorn because my Moon and Mars are in Cap lolIP: Logged |
slowpoke
Knowflake Posts: 678
From:
Registered: Nov 2009
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posted October 18, 2013 11:03 AM
If you can post your natal chart with the accompanying planet positions, perhaps we can take a closer look at your aspects.Astrologically speaking, there are a host of possibilities that may point to your anxieties. But, your real life issues may be something different. Perhaps your chart may point out that element too. slowpoke How To Post Your Chart:
http://www.linda-goodman.com/cgi-bin/ubb/ubbmisc.c gi?action=getannounce&ForumNumber=24&Start=2455736.99&End=2459389&Session= or
http://www.linda-goodman.com/ubb/Forum34/HTML/001381.html IP: Logged |
dadoo
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: Mercury
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 07, 2013 07:30 PM
I actually very well be a commitment phobe too...
Just the kind you mentioned: those who think it's always the other one not willing to commit, when it's most probably one of the criteria on which he/she has been unconsciously selected.Oh, do I hate to admit it. IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Knowflake Posts: 6417
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 10, 2013 11:24 AM
I attract commitment-phobes precisely because I'm a commitment-phobic myself.
I've known that for ages.Still doesn't make it easier to deal with, however. I don't know if I'll ever feel at ease with one-on-one relationships. My North Node is on my DSC so it's extremely challenging for me. IP: Logged |
dadoo
Knowflake Posts: 53
From: Mercury
Registered: Nov 2013
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posted November 10, 2013 11:35 AM
I almost have that. My NN is 5° from my descendant.IP: Logged |
Doux Rêve
Knowflake Posts: 6417
From:
Registered: Dec 2010
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posted November 11, 2013 08:20 AM
It definitely counts.Mine is technically in the 6th but only a few minutes away from my DSC. IP: Logged |
Lindaland
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